


Colour Me Red

by elysianaurora



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: AU, Alternate Meeting, Alternate Universe, Artist!Mickey, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Ian is kinda Mickeys boss but not really, Love, M/M, Mentions of Substance Abuse, Mutual Pining, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Writer!Ian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-09-29 13:45:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 85,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17204465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysianaurora/pseuds/elysianaurora
Summary: Mickey, an aspiring artist landed the job of his dreams designing the covers of novels at a Publishing firm. Ian, a budding author and editor has worked incredibly hard to get where he is. Mere weeks before Christmas the company announces they are downsizing. Mickey goes to work expecting to be fired. Ian goes to work in hopes of choosing an artist to help him execute the art exhibit to help promote his newest book. Both men wound up working together, but will the tension between them cause them to butt heads or will they find companionship in each other?Dedicated to Shannon, Vickey and Sarah ♥️♥️ Love you guys





	1. Retrenchment.

**Author's Note:**

> My first AU so bear with me. I do hope you enjoy this. I'm not entirely sure how long it will be yet but I do hope you join me on this journey for what I have in store for this version of Mickey and Ian
> 
> Also I know writer Ian and artist Mickey has been done numerous times but I really hope you can see how different this one is.

Mickey woke up exactly three weeks before Christmas not really knowing what was going to come of the rest of his life. The past six years had started out rocky but had levelled off to be…stable. He basked in it if he’d be honest because growing up he and his sister, Mandy didn’t have anything near stable. They were now living in the busy hustle of New York City after finally saving up enough cash to move out of Southside Chicago.

For months after moving to the ‘Big Apple’, they were cramped in a studio apartment that cost as little as you can find an apartment for in New York. But after Mandy had gotten a decent office job at a sales company she decided to step out on her own, getting a nicer apartment a few blocks away. Mickey on the other hand, had become attached to the little one-room apartment especially with the added space now that Mandy’s mattress and pile of all her shit from the right side of the room she had claimed was gone. He then spread out claiming the room and turning it into the stereotyped ‘Artist living in New York studio apartment’ and honestly he wasn’t mad about it.

Growing up, his art was never something he could have flaunted around and be proud of, simply due to the fear of being beaten and called a ‘faggot’. So he kept it a secret, another well-kept secret Mickey had…he was in fact gay.. That all changed though when the one person he was scared of the most, his dad, had finally kicked the bucket and he was suddenly shackle free. That’s when he decided to rack everything up, all his hopes and fears and leave the place of nightmares.

When he got to New York, he really had no clue at all where to go from there. He got a job at the youth centre teaching young kids art, and that’s when he figured art was his calling in life. It was around the third year of being in New York that he had gone to the coffee shop across from his apartment building, where he ‘people watched’ and sketched, that he got his big break. While sketching his own interpretation of what a werewolf should look like after Mandy had forced him to sit through all the Twilight movies, he felt someone looking over his shoulder. Surely when he looked up there was a middle aged woman with thick black glasses peering at his sketchbook, “Oh forgive me. I caught a glimpse of your work and was so intrigued. Please tell me that your job has something to do with your talent.”

He glanced back to his sketchbook where his hand was still perched holding his pencil. The first thing he saw, his FUCK U-UP tattooed knuckles. He suddenly felt so out of place. He pulled his fingers back in attempt to hide them before turning back to the lady who immediately picked up on his movements. “ISABELLE!” The barista called. The middle aged woman was then hustling away to collect her coffee. Shortly after she was back, “Do you mind if I sit here?” She asked pointing to the empty seat across from Mickey.

“Uh…no. Knock yourself out.” Mickey said waving his hand to the chair.

“I…I saw you…you know? Look at your hands… I find them endearing.” She said pointing to his fingers.

“Endearing you say?” Mickey asked cocking his eyebrow high nervously chuckling.

“Yeah… I mean any tattoo is better than the butterfly tramp stamp I have over my ass.” She laughed.

Shrugging, he relented, “I guess.” He then put his pencil down taking a sip of his own coffee. “To answer your statement before…my job does incorporate art. I teach it down at the youth centre on evenings.”

“That’s nice. Is that all?”

“Yeah…what else is there that I can do?” Mickey asked fully unaware of the opportunities this woman held for him.

“Well, for starters you could sell it. I know tons of exhibits that are looking for underground artists.”

“No one’s gonna wanna buy drawings of werewolves or gargoyles or the few hobbits I’ve drawn here or there.”

She then twisted her lip like she was thinking deeply, “Okay…here’s what. Here is my number,” she said pulling a piece of paper and a pen from her purse while scribbling on it, “as well as an address. Show up here tomorrow morning at 10, call me and I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

He took the piece of paper skeptically looking at her, “You don’t even know my name. I don’t know you. Why would I just show up?”

“Well I’m Isabelle, which I’m sure you just heard. I’m an editor at Harvey and Beck Publishers. We sometimes like to meet with artists as yourself, and see your ideas for book covers, PR, advertising etcetera and then we sign a contract and you get to work on a project with us. I have a meeting with the publishing team tomorrow morning. Show up if you want to take your art places…”

“Mickey.” He answered still staring at her like she was a crazy person.

“I hope to see you there. We could really use your vision in our fiction department.” She said gathering her belongings to leave, “And Mickey?”

“Yeah?”

“Never cover up your tattoos.” She smiled before leaving.

And that’s how he landed his job. After deep contemplation and a heated phone call with Mandy, he decided he would go. When he showed up that day, they had pitched the idea that he read the book they were working on, and draw a few drafts of his ideas. After the team had seen what he could have pieced together just from reading the summary alone they agreed to sign him on. But that was a temporary contract. And after that it continued, temporary after temporary until he designed the piece for the newest crime novel to hit the market. His gory understanding of the crime in SouthSide Chicago had helped him to shamelessly draw exactly what the author had imagined plus more. That’s when he was asked to follow Mr David down the hall where he was directed to the group office, a shared space among the five full time artists working for the company. He ended up working there every Monday to Friday while he still worked a few evenings at the youth centre.

But that morning when he woke up, he wasn’t sure to have a job. Harvey And Beck was downsizing, rebranding or some shit like that. But with the retrenchment happening he was fucking nervous to go in to work that day. In the last week he had seen five colleagues he had worked with get let go. What am I worth compared to them? He got dressed reluctantly and dragged himself to work. If he called in sick today that would be all the more reason to get fired.

 

* * *

 

  
Being a writer who never even bothered to finish high school was hard. So fucking hard, but Ian made it happen. Ian’s life had been seeming to go nowhere after he had ran away from his home in hopes of finding a way to nurse his first broken heart. He only spiralled from there. His older brother and younger sister found him months after coked out working as a stripper at a gay club. When they brought him back home, things only seemed to get worse. Ian had lost control of himself and the man he used to be. But something about it reminded his siblings too much of their absent mother.

It was only the breaking point when Ian had ran off with their neighbours’ (turned family) three month old kid. Thankfully Kev and V had loved Ian as their own brother and didn’t press charges. All they wanted was for him to get the help he so evidently needed and that’s how he was first committed to the psych ward. It turned out that it was exactly what his siblings had predicted. Bipolar Disorder. He then spends all the years since then trying to get or stay balanced, falling through at times but for the most part he was coping well.

After months of deep contemplation and arguments with his concerned family Ian decided it was his time to make a bold move to better himself. He packed his bags and hauled himself out of his Southside home. Where was he going? He honestly didn’t know. The first year he spent in Michigan trying to figure out just what his plan was in the large scheme of things. He heard great writers came out of Portland, so he that’s where he went. All that came of it was a two month stint as the mailroom boy before he was taking a bus to the next city and then the next.

He decided if he wanted shit to happen for himself he had to go out and will the world to give it to him and that’s exactly what he did. And that’s how he ended up in New York. The world told him he couldn’t get a job in publishing without high school education? He went back and he finished high school. They told him to reach the higher ranks of being a writer he needed to delve into all the aspects of publishing? He took the job as receptionist, then assistant editor then editor at Harvey and Beck Publishers and now he was finally where he wanted to be. At age twenty-eight he had written three New York Times Bestseller Novels. Two of which belonged to his saga of crime novels that had just been announced for best thriller/crime series, for the upcoming National Book Awards.

He was still an editor at the company but one that had the many perks. He never had to go in to the office. Whenever he had to review manuscripts they were just mailed, emailed or hand delivered. But there was the rare occasion that he stepped into the large building. Three months ago was one of those rare days. And boy can Ian tell you that it was an especially lucky, rare day. Because that’s when he may have seen the most beautiful man he could ever lay his eyes on. He looked out everyday since when he had been in the office in hopes of laying his eyes on the man. After months of visiting and never seeing him again, Ian chucked it up to be his one rare glimpse of an angel who probably didn’t even work in the place and was there on business. That was until he had to go in three months later for the retrenchment meeting. He and his colleagues were meeting with each of the designing team that day to assess how valuable each of them was to the team. Two of a team of fifteen had to go.

He was standing outside the conference room taking a over-exaggerated “emergency” phone call from his elder sister Fiona while he looked up to see the raven haired man exiting the elevator at the end of the giant room. His black hair pushed back shining as the fluorescent light casted over him. His pale skin giving accentuation to his pink plump lips. For a small moment Fiona was left asking ‘You still there?’ over and over while Ian stared with his mouth hanging just slightly.

“Who’s he? Don’t think I’ve ever seen him before.” Ian said softly to his assistant Alex as he hung up. The young blonde man looked up from his notepad where he had made notes prior to their upcoming meeting, following the gaze of his boss to land his eyes on one Mickey Milkovich.

“That is Isabelle’s big hire we all heard about some years ago…the one she raves about saying he’s her biggest contribution to this company.”

“The artist she boasts that she discovered?” Ian asked.

“Yeah, he works in design at the end of the hall…he’s one of the guys we’re meeting with today.” Alex said looking back to his boss who had a dumb struck look on his face. “Nuh-Uh. Don’t even think about it. He’d beat you dead. He may look beautiful from this distance and he even more so up close…but he’s terrifyingly so.”

“What do you mean?” Ian asked watching the man converse with a short blonde woman as they discussed whatever was on the sketchbook he held.

“He’s also the ex-thug everyone at the Christmas party said and I quote ‘fucks anyone up’. He’s rough around the edges, not your type. Come on let’s go in, they’re ready for us.”

Ian reluctantly peeled his eyes away from the gorgeous McDreamy…yes he was saying McDreamy because compared to this guy Patrick Dempsey couldn’t come anywhere close. “How the fuck do you know my type, Alex?”

“I don’t. I just figured since you like dick that you’d want them to also like dick. And as far as I know he’s straighter than a pin.” Alex said heading into the conference room.

“What if I bend the pin?” Ian asked curiously which only earned him a glare from his assistant.


	2. Bella Donna's?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know chapter two is coming really soon lol but don't expect daily updates. I just had this one done and sitting there.

For the most part, just like all meetings, this one was boring. Ian sat on the longer side of the twenty seat conference table idly doodling in his legal pad while Alex listened attentively taking notes. They passed through all the regular topics; upcoming events, upcoming novels, currently on the book stands, their best number, yadda, yadda, yadda. By the time the meeting was two hours in Ian could feel himself falling asleep until the CEO of the company, Blane Corvette, called on him, “Mr. Gallagher, let’s discuss your work.”

“Uh…Okay. I’m currently editing three novels; young adult fiction. I’m three quarters through two of them halfway through the third. I should have them to you by the end of next week.”  

 “Sounds good to me. What about your own writes?”

“Promisingly close to finishing. The third instalment of  the series, ‘Paint Me in Blood’ is in publishing now, looking to meet with Design to see where we’re going on the look of it.”

“Good. Always efficiently working. The event?”

“Ah, yes,” he said looking into his diary. “The event is set for the week of Christmas, that is the 23rd of December. But due to this meeting being scheduled we haven’t gotten to meet with artists yet. We don’t know whose getting fired.”

 

“I believe the correct term is ‘let go’, Ian. Isabelle has a presentation she had Design put together with their works and numbers that we will see shortly. See what you like and after we’ve made our decision of who stays you choose one to work on your exhibit," Blane said.

 

“Announcement addressing Ian, Adalyn and Isabelle, you guys are going to have to log more office hours from now on. We can’t be paying to have scripts delivered to your doorsteps. And seeing that you all made it very clear that you don’t like them being emailed… Also, you’re going to have to hold meetings with writers here in the building, we can’t afford to pay for lobster every time you need to tell a writer that they overuse the comma.”

The meeting then moved forward and soon enough Ian had to be paying attention once more when the power point presentation started. In three short weeks he was supposed to be putting on an exhibit of his choosing to advertise and celebrate how well his ‘Paint Me in Blood’ series was doing. He had the choice of what it would be like and he was tired of the cocktail parties and the dinners. He wanted the whole city or at least the people who could appreciate good art to come see his book in a whole new light. They flipped through each artist’s work talking numbers of how well books did based on the covers because as much as it was a good saying, everyone judges a book by its cover.

 

 

 

The art was all good just none tickled his fancy. Some were to light hearted for his thriller crime novel. Some were just lacking the passion he wanted to feel. Until the last artist’s work came up. The dark image showed a black haired girl with her palm out like she was blowing a kiss, blood dripping from the human heart she held there. Maybe Ian was staring for far too long but to him he could have sworn he saw that girl before. The picture did something for him. Something that not many drawings could do. It inspired him. “This is Mikhailo’s work. As you all know he hates that I call him that but I feel like it fits his art more. This is a piece he did for the new psycho-thriller that Adalyn is editing currently. His numbers…well you all know he has the highest ones. Young and mature audiences seem captivated by his work," Isabelle said.

 

“However, his people skills aren’t great," Blane said.

 

“Since when are our artists required to be pleasant? They don’t see the audience. They don’t interact. Are you trying to suggest we give up really good sales because the guy has ‘FUCK U-UP’ tattooed on his knuckles and can’t say good morning for shit?” Gavin spoke up.

 

“He has a point, Blane. Mickey brings in good numbers even if his art is attached to some of the best writer names. The numbers reflect him not just the writer,” Danielle pleaded.

 

“Fine…he stays. So I guess it’s settled then? Billy and Anna are getting cut from the team?” A solemn reluctant agreement was sounded in unison by the conference room. “Gallagher, have you decided who you want?”

 

“Him," Ian said pointing at the image still being projected onto the wall.

  

“Okay…call them in.” And so one by one they came in for their verdict. Did they get to stay? Or did they have to go? Ian kept his eyes peeled for the black-haired man, but with each face that showed up he grew more and more doubtful. Where was this guy? And why hadn’t he asked Alex the guy’s name. Soon enough the last artist walked in. Ian looked up expecting to be disappointed but his eyes immediately lit up when he saw the plump pink lipped man sliding into a seat opposite him at the table.

 

“Mickey!” Blane said, everyone knew Blane was gonna play him and make him feel like he was about to get fired. Ian gazed at him as Blane went on and on about his work and how much he had done for the company. Ian couldn’t imagine that the guy got even more beautiful the closer he was. He had the bluest eyes Ian had ever seen and he could see himself getting lost. Ian was completely unaware of Alex shaking his head beside him. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer," Ian heard the black haired man spit out, causing him to snap out of his thoughts enough to see Mickey looking directly at him. 

 

“Sorry.” He mumbled trying to divert his eyes to the doodles in his legal pad. Alex simply bit his lip to hold back the chuckle he was fighting. 

 

“Mickey…meet Ian Gallagher, your new boss for the next three weeks," Blane said gesturing to the embarrassed red head.

 

“Huh?”

 

* * *

He was meant to be digitally drawing a dungeon. But he couldn’t stop his leg from shaking and he couldn’t stop his mind from wondering just what was happening in that meeting. They had been in the conference room for over three hours at that point and Mickey felt like he was crawling out of his skin. But then the assistant of one of the editors came in and started calling them in one by one. Mickey saw some leave and come back with sad faces, relieved faces, some just couldn’t care at all. Like Mickey’s luck he was last. When it was his turn his hands were sweating and his fingers trembled. Mickey didn’t usually get nervous but he really fucking cared about this job, more than he had ever cared about anything else before. He pushed open the glass doors entering to see twenty different faces all turn to look at him. “Mickey!” Blane the pretentious fuck called out to him. He knew the CEO wasn’t very fond of him so if it was anyone who he would get rid of it would be Mickey. Warily he took the seat the assistant directed him to.

Blane then started rattling off as Mickey lifted his eyes to take in every one of the editors' faces. Some he worked with, some he had just seen passing by, some he never even saw at all. His eyes then landed on the one opposite him. With the light from the glass wall behind him, he may have looked like a red headed angel. Then he noticed the man was looking right at him so he quickly looked away. The ginger man wasn’t subtle and Mickey could see him staring from the corner of his eye. He looked back again and then looked away. He was easily one of the hottest men Mickey had laid his eyes on but he was just staring at him. And it was starting to make Mickey feel his cheeks get hot and maybe feel the crotch of his jeans tighten.

 

He needed to shut whatever the fuck this was down because no way was he going to get up from this table after just being fired with a raging boner. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer," he found himself spitting out, before he could control himself.

 

“Sorry," the redhead mumbled looking down at what Mickey could only describe as the doodles of a five year old. 

 

“Mickey…meet Ian Gallagher, your new boss for the next three weeks,” Blane said gesturing to the reddening red head.

 

“Huh?” Mickey asked looking between Blane and Ian.

 

“Yeah, he has an exhibit to do for his ‘Paint Me in Blood’ series and has asked that you be the artist featured.”

 

Mickey then looked over at the blushing ginger, “Seriously? You want me to be the artist?” Mickey asked bluntly and incredulously.

 

“Yes, I think your work is exactly what I’m looking for,” Ian said ready to elaborate all the things Mickey’s art made him feel but was quickly cut off by Blane.

"Yes, you two may discuss this outside of the meeting, last thing, you’re moving to tenth floor," Blame said dryly.

 

“Tenth floor? What’s wrong with third?”

 

“The junior associates are all moving into one office now. We can’t afford for them all to have their own offices. So Design is moving to the tenth floor conference room. You’ll find it…charming…a lot of character.” Mickey wasn’t dumb he knew that meant the room was a dump. But he zipped his lips shut because now wasn’t the time to piss off the big man. Not when he still had his job. “You’re free to go. We want you all up on tenth by the morning.” 

 

Mickey scoffed softly as he got up, half waved to Ian and then walked out and down the corridor to his now old studio. On entering he saw everyone packing all their belongings as they all turned to him expecting grave news. “Looks like you bitches are stuck with me,” he announced before moving to his corner that overlooked Central Park.

  

“So who got the boot?” Tony asked from the other side of the room causing all heads to look up eyeing each other carefully. 

 

“I heard Billy and Anna from typography are the only two in design who got fired.” Violet spoke as she swiped through her phone.

 

“How do you know that?” Mickey asked as he started hauling all his shit into a folded box he had under his desk. 

  

“Alex texted me.”

 

“Alex? Who the fuck is Alex?” Mickey asked confused.

 

“Ian Gallagher’s assistant," she said with a flirty smile in her face and a wiggle of her blonde eyebrows as she continued scrolling through her cell.

 

“Hm.” Mickey huffed as he continued. “You fucking him huh?” He asked bluntly.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, feigning innocence as she adjusted her nose ring.

“You’re not subtle Vi.”

  

She rolled her eyes then said lowly for only him to hear, “Can you not tell everyone? Please? It’s new. We only started when I worked with him and Ian to do a draft for his new book.”

 

His mind went to the red head man he had seen and now would be working with for God alone knows how long. He hadn’t actually gotten a date for the exhibit but if he knew Blane well, the asshole wouldn’t have told until the very last minute, “What’s he like to work with?”

 

“Who Alex? Yeah, he’s a cool guy," Violet said as she passed two of Mickey’s canvases that were leaned against the wall toward him.

 

“Not Alex. Ian.”

 

“Yeah. I helped him with the concept for the first book but he decided for his little brother to do the designs instead, but he was a decent guy and then again last week Alex asked me to do a draft for the new book that’s coming out for Christmas. Why?”

 

“They put me on his exhibit for the PMB series.”

 

“Holy shit," she said causing Mickey to look up from his box.

 

"What?”

 

“Dude, that’s a big deal. I heard that the biggest investors go to exhibits for novels like that. Only the best of the best. Real scouts and underground guys come to pull out the big pay cheques.” 

 

“No shit? You fucking with me?”

 

“She’s right, the last guy who did one opened his own gallery and shit with the money he made,” Tony answered. “You better read them books cover to cover, you can’t fuck that up.”

 

Mickey was now hyperventilating. He had just thought that it wasn’t a big thing. That the exhibit was just for the launch of the new book for the publishers and editors of the company to attend. He had no clue it would be this big. Just then the room got quiet as there was a knock to the door. Looking up from his corner, Mickey saw the red head standing there with his hands in his coat pocket and his lips pulled into a tight smile. “Got a minute?” 

 

“Uh, yeah,” Mickey said, dusting his hands from the flakes of paint that had gotten on him and walked out the door meeting Ian in the corridor.

 

“I’m Ian Gallagher,” he said, holding his hand out.

 

“Mickey Milkovich.” The shorter man returned reaching his hand out gripping Ian’s. And he would take note to completely ignore the jolt he felt go through his body when the gorgeous man’s hand touched his.

 

“Milkovich?” Ian asked raising his red eyebrow.

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Any relation to the Milkoviches in Southside Chicago?” Mickey tensed a bit at the question.

 

“Y-yeah. You know ‘em?” Mickey asked shifting his weight on his feet.

 

“Yeah, I went to school with the daughter, Mandy.” Ian smiled.

 

“You’re Southside? Mandy’s my sister.”

 

“No shit! Guess this really is a small world. We used to be best friends at some point. She actually used to be my beard.” Ian laughed at the memory trying his hardest not to stare too longingly as the gorgeous man licked at his lips. 

 

“Your what?”

 

“My beard…you know she pretended to be my girlfriend so other guys won’t beat me for being gay.” 

 

“You’re Gay?” Mickey sort of blurted immediately regretting his words. In reality blurting that out, he sounded like a real douche but internally he was screaming Fuck Yes. “Sorry I didn’t mean for that to come out that way.”

   

“It’s okay…yeah I am. There’s not gonna be a problem working with me because I’m gay right?”

 

“What? No…I’m not homophobic or whatever. It’s cool,” Mickey said awkwardly as Ian skeptically nodded his head.

   

“Holy shit, Mandy is the girl in your art piece they showed us back there. The one with the heart and blood.”

 

“Yeah…I asked her because the girl in the book reminds me of her.”

 

“Nice. That’s really awesome how well you brought her to life. Well, I wanted to invite you to dinner, with me so we could talk about the exhibit…we don’t really have much time.”

 

“When’s this shit anyway?” 

 

“December 23rd," Ian said sheepishly afraid that the ex-thug before him would explode at the limited time.

 

“What the fuck, Freckles. Why not wait until the 22nd to tell me this huh?” He grumbled.

 

“Sorry, I had to wait until they ‘let go’ people.” Ian said making air quotes around the term.

 

“You mean fire people?” Mickey deadpanned.“Yeah." Ian said shyly, "So…dinner?”

“Uh…sure I guess, where do I meet you?” Mickey was back to hyperventilating. Was this like a date? No, couldn’t be…right? This was strictly work….right?

 

“Bella Donna’s?”

 

“Uh…you really wanna take me to a fancy ass restaurant like that?” Mickey asked looking evidently uncomfortable with the fancy choice of venue.

 

Ian, should have known better than to ask someone who came from where he did to go to a place like that. "I can let you have pizza and beer on my couch but I figured you’d think I was being I inappropriate.”

 

“Have you seen me or my fingers? Inappropriate is my middle name.” Mickey laughed. _Did that come out wrong? Fuck it,_ “pizza and beer sounds good, text  me the address.” Mickey said turning around to go back to packing his belongings. 

 

“Wait….I don’t have your number,” Ian said handing Mickey his cellphone. Mickey quickly typed his name and number in sheepishly smiling when handed the phone back to Ian. Ian stared down at the screen _Mickey M._


	3. Legal Permission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian meet to discuss their project together, with plans of a quick dinner, and then home because Mickey is tired after a day of work. Mother-nature has different plans for the two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year Everyone! i hope you all enjoy this chapter. This one is for Shannon who helped me with chapter 2.   
> Also, one of my favourite authors on here has bookmarked this so I'm really excited about that. Enjoy :)

That year it definitely started snowing a few weeks earlier that it usually did and according to the weather reports, they were in for a brutal winter but oddly enough, Mickey found it comforting. Somewhat it reminded him of back home in Chicago. The way his fingers numbed a little when he pulled his gloves off his hands to make a call on his phone. That evening he made his way to the youth centre clutching to his parka Mandy had bought him for his birthday because it was _designer and on sale, you can’t get better than that_ and she insisted Mickey needed to _broaden his wardrobe_. “ _Hey dickbreath.”_ His sister’s raspy voice sounded. Her breaths were fast and heavy in his ears.

 

“Hey, are you answering your phone while you’re fucking Josh? Because that’s fucking nasty.” Mickey grouched as he hiked his messenger bag higher up his shoulder as he navigated the busy city streets.

_“No! I’m not that gross Mickey. I’m at the gym.”_

 

“Oh.”

_“What’s up? Did you get fired?”_ She asked knowing all too well how nervous he was about the meeting that morning.

 

“Nope. I’ve actually got good news. I got chosen to do my own exhibit for one of the books coming out around Christmas. I get to do multiple pieces depicting the books and well really important people show up.”

 

_“Holy shit! That’s really big Mick. We have to celebrate.”_

 

“Well it’s a lot of work I don’t know if I’ll have the time. I’m heading to my class now and then I have a meeting with the author about it later.”

 

_“Working late huh? Okay well whenever you’re free, call me and we’ll plan something. I gotta go, talking to you is really slowing me down and I’m getting evil eyes from a couple soccer moms who wanna use the treadmill.”_

 

“Okay. Later.” He answered as he slipped his phone into his jacket pocket as he came to the youth centre’s building. If you had told Mickey ten years before while he was running around the Southside robbing convenience stores and running coke that he’d be teaching kids at a youth centre art well, he would have told you to fuck right off to hell. But here he was nonetheless and he really really enjoyed it.

 

About twenty minutes into his class he saw his phone lighting up on the desk with a text message.

 

_1325 The Fifth Avenue. Front desk will let you up. Looking forward to seeing and working with you – I._

Mickey couldn’t explain why his heart may have skipped a beat when he saw _“ – I”,_ but he wasn’t going to deny that he thought Ian was hot…and gay…and gorgeous _….okay Mickey get a grip._

_Need me to bring the beer?_ He shot off the text not expecting the response to reel in almost instantly.

 

_Nope. All set. Just bring you and your work : )_

 

And that’s how Mickey found himself trudging through New York City snow with his messenger bag around his shoulders, his portfolio and journals tucked into the bag in his hand, all his material from teaching his class and under his arm, the huge as fuck sketch pad folder that was just to fucking big in his opinion to be called a folder. He really should have spared the extra twenty minutes to drop some of his shit home but he really didn’t want to be late and risk giving a bad first impression. Since when the fuck had Mickey been concerned with first impression? He really couldn’t tell you.

 

“Sir, can I help you?” The olive skinned receptionist asked as she eyed him up and down.

 

“Mickey Milkovich, here to see Ian Gallagher.”

 

“Ah Yes, Mr Milkovich. Floor 13 Apartment 1325.” She said pointing him in  the direction of the elevator. He struggled to the elevator in an attempt for none of his belongings to fall, punching the keypad on the elevator and then leaning against the metal wall waiting to get to Ian’s floor. _Deep breaths in…deep breaths out…wait…wasn’t having a 13the floor or something like bad karma or some shit like that? Focus Mickey._ This wasn’t his first business meeting. But Mickey knew he wasn’t nervous because the meeting was about his work. He was nervous because of the gorgeous man the meeting was with.

 

The way Ian opened the door didn’t help to ease Mickey’s nerves. When the door swung open, none other than a red headed Adonis was standing there in nothing but a white towel around his hips while water droplets dropped down every rise and fall of his muscles under his skin. Awkwardly Mickey cleared his throat. “Uh, Sorry. I was waiting then figured you were late so I might as well jump in the shower quickly.” Ian apologised as he moved to the side, “come on in. Set your stuff... wherever.”

 

Mickey looked away as he walked in, “No man, I’m sorry. I ran a little late. I lost track of time and my class went over by like twenty minutes.”

 

“Shit, that’s a lot you got there.” Ian commented as he closed the door and looked at the pile of things Mickey had set on the floor.

 

“Yeah…ended up bringing all my supplies for my class with me because I didn’t get a chance to drop it all home.”

 

“Class? You taking or teaching?” Ian asked still standing there in his towel unaware of the effect that his body was having in the brunette.

 

“Teaching…” Mickey said noticeably eyeing Ian’s bare skin and unconsciously licking the corner of his lip. “You wanna maybe put some clothes on before we chit chat some more, Firecrotch?” He blurted quickly regretting it. This was still kind of his boss.

 

At the mention of his pubic hair Ian glanced down to ensure he was still covered. “Sorry….I’ll go get dressed.” Is what he should have said but it was like he had no control over his thoughts or his words because before his knew it he was firing back, “How are you so sure the carpets match the drapes, huh?” _What the fuck, Ian? This isn’t a guy you’re picking up at the club. This is your coworker!_ Ian internally yelled.

Mickey’s eyebrows shot up high in his hairline, “You saying I’m wrong?” he quickly shot back surprising Ian because honestly, the redhead was expecting a beat down.

 

“Nah…it does.” Ian shrugged with a small smirk as he turned to go to his bedroom. When he was at his bedroom door, he heard Micke softly mutter, “Guess I’ll just have to take your word for it then.”

 

Ian simply walked into his room pretending he didn’t hear and trying his hardest to not look too closely or think about the way Mickey was obviously watching him. Because there was no way…right? Mickey couldn’t be. Not with who he had for a father. And Ian remembers the stories he heard of the bigot growing up. He pushed thoughts of the menacing man out of his mind as he pulled clothes from his drawer. Mickey couldn’t be gay…or could he? There’s no way. Either way Ian couldn’t do anything about it if Mickey was gay. No matter how much he wanted to undress him he couldn’t. It wasn’t professional.

 

 

Mickey was silently cursing himself for that remark because he was one hundred percent sure that Ian heard him by the way his hand paused on the doorknob before he disappeared into his bedroom. He sighed as he picked his stuff off the ground setting it on the coffee table. He looked around the grand mass of the apartment, he was pretty sure his own could fit in this apartment four times. He looked at the elegance of the way the décor was put together. Ian was a writer, of course he’d be living at The Fifth Avenue with a fucking brass chandelier in his living room and marble kitchen counters that were  framed by navy blue cupboards. Mickey loved his home but it didn’t mean he didn’t have dreams of owning a place like this one day.

 

He walked toward the panel of wall between two doors that had photos covering the expanse of dry wall. He could see the redhead and the same faces in all the pictures, the only difference that they were slowly aging with each picture. One or two new young faces appeared as the pictures told some kind of silent story. His eyes settled on the curly haired brunette woman who always seemed to be at the centre of the mass of people with a wide toothy smile and squinted eyes. She looked oddly familiar to him and it was when he glanced back to the younger version of her he knew who it was. Fiona Gallagher. She was a few years ahead of him in high school, she had to be Ian’s sister. There was this small part of emptiness Mickey felt in his heart because what those picture had wasn’t something he had ever experienced but it was definitely something he silently wished for too many times. Family. Sure he had Mandy but it always plagued his mind that he knew he had many siblings like in these pictures, they were just never close.

 

When Ian emerged from his bedroom in a T-shirt and sweatpants he found Mickey idly standing in front the wall of family photos that never ceased to make him smile. “Real family man, huh?” Mickey asked Ian when heard him approach.

 

“Uh…Yeah, big family. We’re close.” He softly said. Mickey then curiously pointed at the picture at the end of the last row that’s was of Ian holding a tiny red headed girl who looked too much like him, “yours?” Mickey asked.

 

Chuckling lightly at the insinuation he answered, “No, my niece, Franny.”

 

“So, you wanna get started?” Mickey asked quickly realising how strange it would have seemed that he was staring at the man’s family photos.

 

“Sure. I’ll just get the food.” Ian said as he walked to the kitchen.

 

“So do you have any specific idea about what you want for this exhibit or is it a completely empty slate?” Mickey asked as Ian came back taking a seat next to him on the couch handing him a beer.

 

“Not really. I know I want the pieces to have some kind of chronological order telling some of the story of the series but it’s not like I have anything in particular in my mind. Alex, my assistant emailed you the summaries, did you read them?” Ian asked around a mouthful of food as he put a plate of pizza in front Mickey

 

“Didn’t need to.” Mickey shrugged. “I read the first two books when they came out. And the summary when they brought it to us last week.”

 

“Really? That’s great. Means you know the material pretty good.”

 

“Yeah. What’s this exhibit for anyways?”

 

“Well it’s the launch of the _last_ book actually.”

 

“Seriously? You’re ending the series after the third one?” Mickey asked incredulously.

 

“Yeah…I believe great things come in threes. And well it’s also to celebrate the series being nominated for the best thriller/crime series for the National Book Awards.” Ian said sheepishly.

 

“Holy shit! That’s big. Now that just puts way more pressure on me.” Mickey said reconsidering if he should even show Ian the ideas he had. Maybe he should rethink them. Get better ones.

 

“Well,” He wasn’t a pussy. He had these ideas and as an artist he knew it was good to go with your gut, “when I first read the books, I had made these sketches. Now that’s all they are okay? Sketches. If you don’t like them we’ll start fresh.” Mickey said flipping his journal to the right page then pushing the book in Ian’s direction. Mickey’s heart started racing then as he just realised that this was in fact his favourite sketch he had ever done. It was also one he had never shown anyone, not even Mandy.

 

The pencil sketch was an intricate depiction of the last scene of the first book in the _Paint Me in Blood Series_ , called _Scarlet Thumbprint._ It was a scene that somehow had come to mean two very different things for both men, yet it was something they pictured in the same way. The sketch showed the memory the main character was seeing of the first murder he had committed, the bloodied body was chained to the basement wall. But that wasn’t where it ended. The woman’s limp body was sketched into the iris of the murderer as he relived the memory. “Fuck.” Ian whispered as he took in the drawing. “You drew this when you read the book?”

 

“Yeah,” Mickey said shyly as he stuffed his mouth with the rest of his slice of pizza.

 

“Mickey…this is…I have no fucking clue how you did it but you drew exactly what I imagined when I wrote that. Holy shit…all the hair on my hand literally just rose when I saw this. I’ve always said that if I get to make this book into a movie this is how I want this scene to look. You got my concept to a _T_.” Ian said still staring at the sketch.

 

“Really?” Mickey became shy then with the pride he felt because not much people usually praised him on his work. And sure he used to see the numbers that his covers got books and he saw the ratings but no one verbally validated him. It made it all the better that it was coming from the man he so evidently had a crush on. He shied away unable to meet Ian’s eyes…and shy wasn’t something he usually did.

 

“Yeah. Shit, can we please use this? Like I want this to be the centre of the first portion of the exhibit that’s supposed to be about he first book. What mediums do you think you can do this in?” Ian was rambling and the way he praised Mickey so nonchalantly gave Mickey some special kind of confidence. He quickly snapped out of his daze really fuelled to lay his cards in the table.

 

“Well I always wanted to do it in acrylics like a fucking big canvas. Dark reds and blacks. I actually did a version of it digitally if you wanna see.”

 

“Yes!” Ian answered so enthusiastically. Mickey then fished his iPad out of his bag and quickly pulled the drawing up. And there it was rich in its colour and vibrancy. 

 

“Holy shit! I love it.”

 

“Yeah but imagine this on a 6x8 canvas in with acrylic textures.” Mickey said passionately as he smiled down at his work. And before, Ian would have sworn it was impossible to think Mickey was any cuter but here he was winning Ian over more and more. If it was one thing Ian thought was extremely attractive on a man was passion about the things he loved.

 

“Damn. Yeah that’ll look so good. You have anymore of these?” And that’s how Ian started flipping through the journal Mickey had given him. Mickey usually never gave anyone the liberty of perusing through his art but somehow he felt so at ease with Ian. Like if Ian asked now the meaning behind every one of those drawings he’d willingly bare his soul and probably make a whole fucking power point presentation to explain himself. And that’s when Mickey tensed in the couch of his boss. He got really fucking scared when he realised the effect this man was having on him after only having met for one day.

 

 

It was about two hours later of going through all the work Mickey had brought with him and making decisions of what exactly they wanted. Mickey was set to do nine pieces, three per book in the next three weeks. Ian had gotten up from the couch and was taking all the plates to the sink when Mickey’s phone started ringing. _Mandy._ “Can you excuse me for one minute. It’s my sister.” Mickey said as he swiped the answer button. “Yes, Mandy?”

 

 _“Mickey? Where are you?”_ She sounded panicked and that was enough  to get Mickey’s blood pumping. He shot up from his seat, “Mandy? What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?”

 

_“No…I’m calling to find out if you’re okay…safe?”_

 

“Safe? What do you mean safe?”

 

_“Haven’t you seen the news? Where are you?”_

 

“I was in a meeting for the exhibit I told you about. What’s on the news?” He asked looking at Ian and pointing to the television. Ian quickly got the message and grabbed the remote off the couch and turned the TV on. _“There’s a snow storm, they’re saying not to go outdoors. To stay inside until it passes. Are you at work?”_

 

“No, I’m at Ian’s apartment.”

 

_“Ian?”_

 

“Ian Gallagher…the writer… it’s his book I’m doing the exhibit for.”

 

 _“You mean Ian Gallagher my past best friend who I lost contact with after he ran away and have been telling you I hope to get in touch with? Why the fuck didn’t you mention it was him, dumbass? Also he’s gay…just a head up in case you wanted to know.”_ Mandy continued rambling like if she didn’t just call about a snow storm.

 

“Shut the fuck up, Mandy…where are you?”

 

 _“I’m at Josh’s parents house. We came by for him to see his nephews and well we’re stuck here now.”_ Mickey turned his attention to the large flat screen that was hanging on the wall.

 

“We’re asking all to stay indoors until the storm passes over. Which should be in a couple of hours or days. We ask that you do not attempt to leave your homes, do not attempt to drive your vehicles and please do not leave pets tied outdoors. We’ll be back shortly after this break.” The news reporter said.

 

“Looks like I’m stuck here…” Mickey said into the phone.

_“Yeah we’ll at least you’re safe…let me talk to Ian…pleeeasse._ ” Mandy said.

 

Mickey held the phone out to the redhead who looked at him with furrowed brows. “She wants to talk to you.”

 

“Hey Mandy…” Ian said into the phone.

 

Mickey couldn’t hear what exactly his sister was saying but he could see the smile on Ian’s face… _fuck if Mandy embarrassed him she was dead._ “I’m good…yes your brother is safe here. You have nothing to worry about….mhmm.. Yeah..okay…we could do lunch when all this passes by. Great, talk to you later…bye.”

 

He passed the phone back to Mickey then turned the television off as he walked pass Mickey and back into the kitchen.

 

“Well, what she say?” Mickey asked.

 

“Hm…nothing much. She wants to meet up.” Ian shrugged. “Sorry I called you over here with this kind of weather…should have left this all for tomorrow or something.” Ian said as he started washing the dishes.

 

“No…it’s okay. Got a lot done. Uh…it’s all good that I stay here right?” Mickey asked as he sat on the kitchen stool.

 

“It’s more than okay, Mickey.”

 

“Right.” Mickey said tight lipped. “Uh…when is the third book supposed to come out?”

 

“Not sure…they haven’t given me a date but they’re looking at right before the exhibit. They just need to finalise some things for the book cover. I haven’t been able to settle on a cover yet.

 

“Yeah? Show me what you got to choose from?” Mickey asked.

 

Ian moved over to the the small desk that sat in the corner of the room rummaging through some files. “They gave me ten options…I narrowed it down to three but I still can’t decide. And they won’t tell me the artist until I decide. Something about bias or some shit.” He said bringing the prints and setting in front Mickey. Ian quickly noticed the smirk that stretched onto Mickey’s lips. “What? You don’t think they’re good?”

 

“No…I never said that…”

 

“Then what?” Ian said getting incredibly close to Mickey as he peered down at the three prints. Mickey could feel Ian’s hot breath on his neck as the writer tried to see what he was smirking at, “I don’t get it. What’s so funny?”

 

Mickey turned in the stool and happened to realised just how close Ian was to him. They were so close he could feel the heat radiating off the redhead. He looked away and back to the prints, “So two weeks ago Adalyn brought in the excerpts of the week for us to go through and choose what we want to work on. And then we submit the ideas we have…”

 

“And…”

 

“Well, Tony and another artist chose yours.”

 

“Another artist? Who?” Ian asked glancing over the prints again then back to Mickey who had his eyebrows cocked and a smile of his face… “No way….so which are yours?”

 

“Well, Tony did five and I did five…you just happened to chose three of mine.” Mickey laughed again.

 

“Shit…are all these really yours?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Fuck…no wonder it was so hard to decide…they’re all really good. Which one you do like the most?”

 

“Which one do _you_ like the most? It’s your book.” Mickey asked turning back to face Ian who had now stepped away a bit.

 

“Uh…middle one.” Ian said.

 

“Quick choice. My favourite actually didn’t make the cut.” Mickey said looking over the drawings.

 

“No?” Ian then went back to the desk bring the file over, “I have them here.” He put the file in front Mickey who quickly started thumbing through them. “Ah ha.” He pulled out the one he was looking for and then handed it over the Ian.

 

“Damn…that really is good. I didn’t chose it because I didn’t know who the guy in the picture was…and I tend to not to use people pictures I don’t know. I mean even if it’s just piece of his face.” Ian said looking over the face in the print trying to figure him out.

 

“Yeah that makes sense. The one you like is my second favourite though. So it’s a good choice.”

 

“Who’s the guy?” Ian asked throwing Mickey off completely.

 

“Uh…no one…random guy.” Mickey said brushing it off.

 

“Oh come on… tell me. I won’t judge.”

 

“It’s my ex…” Mickey muttered.

 

Ian’s jaw dropped a little, “your ex? Wait…”

 

Mickey looked away because he hated the moment people realised he was gay. It was like they looked at him differently. And he wasn’t ashamed of it but he just didn’t like to see the moment their faces changed. Ian quickly realised the way Mickey looked away so he stepped closer and placed his hand on Mickey’s shoulder, “Hey…it’s okay.” Mickey spared a glance at Ian to see his gaze never changed. He never stopped watching Mickey the way had since he walked in.

 

“Just…it’s great but I’d rather not use a drawing of your ex on my book.” Ian said and it wasn’t because of the reason he usually didn’t use faces, _legal permission_ but it was simply the reason that he didn’t want something he and Mickey were working on together to be tainted by some ex-lover. No matter if he and Mickey weren’t anything. He liked this man. He had spent so many hours after seeing him months ago, thinking of him. He didn’t want the moment he saw his books on the stand to be stabbed with the thoughts of Mickey being with another man because damn would that be a killer. While deep in his thoughts he hadn’t noticed just how close to Mickey he had become. Their faces were so close together and he could feel Mickey’s breath fan against his face every time he breathed out. The tension between them quickly grew and Ian knew he should stop himself but he couldn’t, he felt himself being reeled in more and more until Mickey pulled back clearing his throat, “I had like two beers. I need to piss.”

 

Ian reluctantly directed him thinking he definitely fucked everything up. “Uh..Yeah. Down that hall, second door to the right.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed :) leave comments and kudos of what you loved. i enjoy reading your feedback.


	4. Don't Say I Never Gave You Anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian get to know each other a little better as they're confined in Ian's apartment.
> 
> hope you enjoy this chapter its a bit longer than the first three. Okay, so in a realistic world, i feel like One Tree Hill would be something Mandy would rope Mickey into watching lol. it also happens to be one of my favourite shows also shoutout to Shannon and Jay who share my love for it.

Mickey was currently scolding himself in the mirror of Ian’s bathroom. _This is your boss!_ He kept trying to tell himself. He couldn’t do this. He needed to stay professional but still he couldn’t help what being in the same room as Ian was doing to him. He needed to leave the apartment but go where? The lobby? He couldn’t leave so he just needed to suck it up until weather patterns died down. _And why the fuck did you even mention him?_ He hated himself right now for even for a spare moment for submitting that cover print. Why the fuck did _he_ always have to fuck things up.

 

It had actually been quite some time since Mickey had thought about a certain ex-lover. And conjuring thoughts of him while currently locked in your boss who you may have a crush on’s bathroom wasn’t a good place to start.

 

He quietly stepped out the bathroom walking down the hall back to the living room when he heard Ian’s soft voice.

 

“Let’s hope I don’t go manic in the next 48 hours and I’ll be fine until our appointment.” Ian said with a nervous laugh. “Uh… yes. Mhmm. I’m not making reckless decisions I promise. This is strictly a professional arrangement.”

 

 “Yes..thank you Dr Wright.” He could hear Ian say before hanging up. Mickey was confused about the entire thing…manic? Reckless decisions? A doctor? He definitely knew Ian was talking about him on the phone but he also knew that it wasn’t his place to ask. He stepped out from the corridor and cleared his throat when he noticed Ian was flipping through one of his folders that were idly sitting on the coffee table.

 

At the sound of Mickey clearing his throat Ian turned, and then glanced back at the folder in his hand, “Oh, Sorry I mindlessly picked it up while on the phone.” He said. Closing the folder and pushing it away.

 

“It’s fine… I left it lying around. See anything you like?” He asked trying to make casual conversation in hopes that what almost happened at the counter can be forgotten.

 

“Yeah…this one actually?” Ian pulled out an A4 sized abstract painting Mickey had, “What’s the story behind this?”

 

Mickey chuckled surprisingly, “Let’s just say I was stoned on the highest grade weed I ever had.”

 

“Nice!” Ian laughed then tilted his head like he was thinking deeply before saying, “I would offer but my asshole brother smoked it all before he left a week ago.”

 

“You get high? Well well, look at Ian Gallagher.” He teased.

 

“Fuck off, I’m just as Southside as you.” Ian said getting up to retrieve a beer for Mickey and water for himself.

 

“Right! You’re Southside…have you seen this fucking place?” Mickey said gesturing to the luxurious apartment.

 

“So because I’m Southside means I can’t have nice shit?” Ian asked offended as he handed Mickey the beer.

 

“I didn’t say that man… it’s just…refreshing that you stick to your roots…I didn’t mean anything by it.” He then glanced at the bottle in Ian’s hand.

 

“You not having one with me? You a lightweight? Or you tryna get me drunk?” Mickey teased.

 

“One…Im not a lightweight, it messes with my meds and two, I’m not trying to get you drunk.”

 

Mickey looked over the meds’ comment. Was it even his place to pry? “What you think you can’t handle me drunk?” Mickey flirted and then internally cursed himself for doing the complete opposite of his plan.

 

“Nah…I could handle you.” Ian smiled as he leaned back against the couch. “You wanna watch a movie or some shit? We don’t really have much to do.”

 

“Yeah…sure. Whatever.” Ian chucked in some old random action movie into the DVD player and settled next to Mickey. Maybe a little closer than he was before but Mickey pretended that he didn’t notice. He leaned back into the couch spreading his legs causing his knee to bump at Mickey’s every time he shook his leg. What was it about Ian Gallagher that was getting Mickey this riled up?

 

It was after an hour of subtly checking the brunette out that Ian turned his attention more boldly to Mickey, “So…what made a guy like you get into art?” He asked softly as he realized Mickey wasn’t paying much attention to the film either.

 

Mickey was staring off daydreaming, when Ian’s voice startled him. His eyebrows rose much slower in his forehead, “You trying to figure me out Gallagher?”

 

Ian then turned fully on the couch so that he was facing Mickey and leaned sideways into the back of the couch, “Yes.” He answered boldly, “isn’t that the cliched thing they do in the movies when they get stuck in an apartment during a snowstorm?”

 

“Do they now?” Mickey asked turning too.

 

“Come on… give me something at least.”

 

“Fine…I got into art while in juvie.”

 

Ian’s eyes grew wider in surprise, “Right, juvie. The reason we never met on the Southside.”

 

“Yeah they make you take classes and shit and it was either art or wood work. So I took the one I thought would be easier. Ended up falling in love with it.”

 

“What else do you like?” Ian asked as he reached for his water taking a sip.

 

“Uh… at the risk of sounding like a complete geek…I really like mythology and all that shit man.”

 

“Really? What kind?”

 

“Mostly Greek, Mandy had brought by a couple books she stole back then when I was locked up for me to read”

 

“Did a lot of self finding in juvie huh?”

 

Ian didn’t fail to notice the way Mickey’s face fell at that. “Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay…I did actually. I’m not ashamed of it.” Idly he pulled at one of his pencils that stuck out from his pencil case and he grabbed up his sketch book and started scratching the graphite against the page. “What about you, Freckles?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“You’ve always been a literature scholar or is it one of the joys you found later in life.”

 

Ian scoffed, “I’m the furthest thing from a scholar.” He said as he watched the way Mickey glided the pencil across the page.

 

“What? You’re a Gallagher! Aren’t you all like really smart?”

 

Ian laughed a little before leaning his body to lie on the couch bringing his feet up, his toes slightly grazing the side of Mickey’s clothed thigh. “I think you’re mixing me up with my brother. Nah I was always ordinary in the academics.”

 

“But you gotta be smart to be a writer, man. I bet you fucking aced English.”

 

“I didn’t.” Ian said firmly causing Mickey’s eyes to leave his page. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to… it’s just. I didn’t finish…high school. I mean I did finish. But only years after.” Ian rambled until Mickey touched his knee.

 

“Hey, no judgement. I didn’t finish at all. Not even years later. So what, you went back?”

 

“Yeah, I always liked Literature and I always had a lot of ideas but people told me no one would take a writer who never finished high school seriously…so.”

 

“Damn, that’s some commitment.” Mickey’s said going back to his drawing.

 

“You ever think about going back?”

 

“Fuck no. I don’t need it. And I don’t have the patience. You know how the education system just isn’t cut out for some people? Well I’m one of those people.”

 

“Well you’re doing pretty damn great without it so.”

 

“Yeah.” Mickey said continuing to draw. After a beat of silence he swallowed and asked the one question he always itched to ask Ian even before he had met him. Since the day he had read his first novel, “so…uh..why thriller/crime?”

 

Ian looked down toward him smiling easily, “Uh…” and Mickey could see the hesitation in the way his smile quivered.

 

“You don’t have to say.”

 

“No…it’s not that. It’s just after I say this I feel like you’re going to view my work from an entirely different perspective.” Ian said sitting up and pulling his knees to his chest suddenly looking smaller than before and more vulnerable.

 

“Okay…no matter the inspiration behind it…it’s still good work, Ian.”

 

“Thanks…” Ian breathed in and then out, and it helped that Mickey’s eyes had gone back to the page before him. “The first book, Scarlett Thumbprint, I wrote it when I had my first manic episode.”

 

 _Manic._ There was that word again, “Manic? I don’t get it.”

 

“I have Bipolar Disorder. It’s uh… a mental illness that I experience periods of extreme depression or periods of abnormal elevated moods. Like a really reckless high high. On a loop.” He looked at Mickey who had stopped sketching to look at him. “Fuck, I don’t even know why I feel so comfortable telling you that shit.” He said aloud. Suddenly there was that reassuring hand on his knee again and that’s when he noticed the tears that welled up in his own eyes. This was his fucking coworker for crying out loud. Why the fuck was he telling him this shit?

 

“Hey. It’s all good. I don’t see why you think I’d view you or your work differently. Its still you. Just you in a really fucking good mood to the point where you’re reckless.” He said with a small laugh that may have been taken wrongly by most people. Like he was making a joke out of Ian. But Ian saw it for what it really was. It was this guy, so unlike most people telling him that it was more than okay to be the way he was.

 

“Thanks.” He wiped his eyes, “so that’s mostly how I got into the genre…and when I started my meds I realized how much growing up in Back of the Yards can really help me and so I pretty much made a career out of it. Also I have this really sick obsession with mysteries and crime novels so…”

 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m glad I found a job where I can draw all the fucking gory shit I want to and not be judged. Thanks, for telling me.”

 

“You gonna tell me something deep like that?”

 

“Now I feel fucking obligated to.” Mickey laughed. “Uh…let’s see.” Mickey was genuinely thinking of something equally as personal to tell Ian to make him feel better.  “How about the fact that I ended up in the hospital for two weeks after my dad found out I was gay?”

 

“Shit! I was wondering what that must have been like. Mandy told me a lot of awful shit he used to do…I figured he wouldn’t have been so forthcoming about your preferences.”

 

“Yeah well it’s what landed him back in the joint. Where he got shanked and fucking died so it worked out.” There was something so simple and beautiful about the way Mickey had relaxed into Ian’s apartment, opening up to a stranger as he sketched freely against a page. Ian didn’t miss the significance behind the words or the choice of story Mickey took to tell him. Coming from where they did, small things like this weren’t take lightly.

 

“Normally I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m really not. Especially after the shit he did to Mandy.”

 

“She told you about that? Damn you two must have been really close.”

 

“Yeah… we were. I’ve missed her over the years. I don’t really have much friends.”

 

“Me neither. I mean I hang out with Violet, from work but even she and I have our boundaries you know?”

 

“Ah, Violet…she’s a great girl. I think she likes my assistant Alex but I can’t be sure.”

 

“Oh they’re fucking.” Mickey said so nonchalantly.

 

“No way! How do you know?”

 

“She told me.” Mickey laughed.

 

Ian just laughed as he raised his bottled water to Mickey, “to being new friends then.”

 

Mickey smiled as he lifted his beer bottle to knock Ian’s , “To new friends.”

 

* * *

 

 

It was just after ten that found both men still laying on the sofa. Ian had the cover to his red pen in his mouth while he read through one of the manuscripts he had been editing. Mickey had stuck one pencil behind his ears while the other was aggressively being scratched against the white of his journal. There was comfortable silence that surrounded both men. Mickey was left to his thoughts while his hands worked almost on their own.

 

This was a perfect example of how the last three years of Mickey’s life dictated him now. Here he was sitting with an openly gay attractive man, and yet he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Guilty because his mind ever so often would drift to _him._ When Mickey and Mandy had come to New York they hadn’t known anyone. The barista across from there apartment building who willingly made conversation with them became their first friend. It wasn’t long after that said barista, Connor who was a budding photographer at the time, had showed his peaked interest in Mickey. Mickey was quickly won over by his light ash brown hair and deep dimples and his infectious laugh. It was one of those moments that Mickey didn’t really _think before acting._ It was his first relationship since being out and he dove head first into it. Sadly, both of them weren’t as equally invested as the other. Mickey had pushed Connor to take his big step in the photography world when the opportunity arose for him. Said opportunities however were in France. Mickey was determined that they would work.

 

But what happens when a hot twenty-three year old gay guy goes to France to work with hotter models? Well, I think you can guess for yourself. Mickey became a distant memory as the phone calls ended and the Skype calls were left unanswered. The only thing Mickey had to go off of was the many social media posts and the drunken paparazzi pictures of his boyfriend, sorry ex-boyfriend, doing body shots off of underwear models or making out with a football star he met at the club.

 

Either way, Mickey had fully thrown himself into his work and he never spoke about it. And here he was months after still feeling the sting in his chest like it was yesterday. But more so he couldn’t help but feel guilty, like he was cheating on Connor. He very well knew he was being absurd but it’s just how he felt. Mandy had tried talking sense into his head, trying to push him in the direction of moving on. But she didn’t really get much headway. But she tried. And maybe if she told him things she knew about Connor that Mickey didn’t, he would get over it quicker but she couldn’t bear to hurt him any more than he already was.

 

Back to his current situation though, it was a seesaw Of glances between him and Ian. Mickey would look up to find him looking and then fix his gaze back into his sketchbook. That was until Ian absentmindedly licked his tongue to the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. Mickey’s gaze locked and he drifted off as his eyes cascaded down Ian who’s brows were furrowed as he nibbled on the pen’s cover. He seemed so deep in concentration, and Mickey cursed himself for dare thinking it was _cute_. Ian was beautiful, more so than his ex-lover. In fact the ash brown haired boy couldn’t come near this freckled redhead. Even if Mickey was to move past his guilt and actually be with someone else it couldn’t be Ian, not when he was his boss. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Ian said breaking his reverie by using his exact rude outburst from the meeting earlier that day.

 

“Sorry,” Mickey then diverted his eyes back to the sketch that had him mentally banging his head against a wall. He only now realized just what he had drawn and felt almost ashamed. Almost, because it looked pretty freaking good.

 

“Are you done?” Ian’s voice spoke from the other end of the couch.

 

“Uh…I guess.”

 

“Can I see?”

 

Mickey looked back to Ian then to his journal, “don’t freak….alright?”

 

Ian’s brow drew together in confusion as Mickey turned the book to face him. Ian once again found himself with goosebumps all over his skin. Stained to the paper in various pressures of graphite was a lean, muscled centaur standing proudly on a mountain surrounded by trees as he drew the arrow back against his bow. It was all intricate and absolutely breathtakingly beautiful, but that wasn’t want made a special warmth grow in Ian’s stomach.  No, it was the face of the centaur. Ian was absolutely certain that the face was his. “Is that…me?” He asked.

 

“Uh….yeah…” Mickey asked avoiding Ian’s gaze. This was absolutely embarrassing. Here he was drawing the guy like if he was some thirteen year old girl with a crush.

 

“It’s fucking awesome, Mick.”

 

 _Mick_ , why did Ian saying that send a chill all over his body? Fuck he was so ruined.

 

Ian on the other hand couldn’t help the stupid grin that was stretching over his face, as he scooted closer to Mickey pretending that he was getting closer just to see the drawing. “I love it. Can I keep it?”

 

Mickey looked at him dumbfounded before grabbing his pencil and scribbling his signature at the corner before ripping at the perforated edge along the spine of his journal, careful not to tear it. He handed over the drawing, “Don’t say I never gave you anything.”

 

“I never took you for a guy who watched One Tree Hill” Ian responded. Mickey was now a blushing red.

 

“Mandy made me watch it with her.” He lied.

 

“Sure.” Ian answered completely unconvinced, “don’t worry, I love it too.” Ian said as he turned his attention back to the drawing, “it’s really beautiful.”

 

“Thanks.” Mickey answered awkwardly, “Not weird that I drew you?”

 

“Not weird at all.” Ian said slowly as their faces had somehow again gotten closer than before and he could feel Mickey’s quickened breath fan over his own face. The smell of beer and a faint linger of a cigarette from hours before surrounded him. His eyes locked to the two pink pillows of softness that gleamed as Mickey’s tongue swept over them. Ian was so fucking whipped at this point and he had only really known the guy for less than twenty four hours. Keeping this professional over the next three weeks would probably be the hardest thing he’s ever had to do. Before he knew it the tension around them was increasing seven fold and their lips were drawing closer. With one breath between them their bottom lips grazed each other. And it was like a lightning bolt had struck through Ian jolting him alive. It happened so quickly that he felt like was almost flung back when he backed away before muttering, “Sorry.” Almost like he had offended Mickey.

 

Suddenly there was a hand behind his neck drawing him closer as Mickey crashed his lips against Ian’s more passionately. Ian relented giving into the feel of Mickey’s taste and warmth. He got all wrapped up in it as he climbed onto the couch closer to Mickey. Before long he was threading his hands through black hair pulling Mickey impossibly closer to him. “Fuck,” Mickey muttered into his mouth bringing him back to reality. He pulled back once again and stumbled off Mickeys lap.

 

“Shit.” He said running his hand over his bruised lip looking down at the raven haired man who sat disheveled with swollen lips as his chest rose and fall, and fuck was he beautiful. “We can’t…we…”

 

“Fuck…you’re right.”

 

“No it’s okay…it just…It can’t happen again.” He regrettably said before getting up from the couch and heading into his room. It wasn’t long before he came back out with a pillow and a blanket in hand.

 

“It’s getting late, maybe you should catch some sleep. These next three weeks are gonna be hard with all the work you gotta do” Ian said.

 

“Is that your subtle way of telling me _I’m tired so fuck off_?” Mickey asked as he packed up his pencils. Trying his best to regain the playful _non-awkward_ setting from before.

 

“Honestly? Yes” Ian laughed. “I have a Skype meeting at 9 am, so I gotta get some sleep before I’m  nodding off while they tell me about the rebrand.”

 

“Rebrand?”

 

“Uh…Yeah. They want me to do like a special edition collection set with the three books all having matching design and covers and shit like that.”

 

“Oh, sweet. Well you should really get some sleep.”

 

“Yeah… uh you know where the bathroom is, help yourself to anything in the kitchen and uh…I put a pair of sweatpants there with the sheets in case you wanted to change. I’m sorry again that….”

 

“Don’t be…I’m not.” Mickey said as he got up and started making his makeshift bed. “Goodnight”

 

“Uh…right. Goodnight”

 

Ian then walked away to his bedroom replaying Mickey words in his mind _don’t be…I’m not_ while his fingers traced where Mickey’s lips once were. Fuck, this was going to be the hardest three weeks.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been just after 2 am. Mickey was lying staring up at Ian’s living room ceiling. He could still feel the lingering chill of Ian’s lips against his own, his sweet taste against his tongue. He had meant his words, he wasn’t sorry but this was his boss. He need to keep this shit professional, he couldn’t lose his job over a quick fuck. But that’s the thing. It wasn’t that. Well at least not for him.

 

Mickey had always been the guy who never gave shit about anyone enough to keep them around. _Until Connor,_ and look how well that turned out. Sure he went out to gay bars whenever he got the free time and brought someone back to his place. But that’s where it ended, after a night of drunken sex he sent them on his way and never saw them again. After having his heart ripped to pieces he had never been interested in knowing anyone again. Never been interested in learning all the fine detail that made someone click. But somehow in the last twenty four hours he had met this redhead who changed that. He had been genuinely intrigued as Ian had sat and talked about his Bipolar Disorder, he wanted to know more about him. He wanted to comfort him, and that’s when Mickey knew he was crushing so fucking hard.

 

He kept turning on the couch unable to ease his mind at his new discovery, so instead he got up and dug through his messenger bag where he kept his tarp folded neatly. He spread it out in the corner of Ian’s living room and brought over one of the small canvases he had picked up from the youth centre. And that’s how at 2 am he found himself delving into his art in the floor of his boss’ living room.

 

* * *

 

 

Ian…well Ian was just as fucking ruined, he lay in bed for hours trying to come to grips with the meaning of the kiss they had shared in the living room. Suddenly at 1:40 am, he had a jolt of inspiration. He grabbed his laptop from his nightstand and found himself opening up the document to a book he had long ago started but couldn’t find the zeal to continue. He ended up writing until his eyes were drooping low with sleep.

 

It was the blinding light of the sun that woke him up the next day, and well the thought that the hottest man he had ever laid his eyes on was sleeping in his living room. He pushed the sheets away from him and quietly pushed open the bedroom door, he made his way out bathroom where he quietly and carefully brushed his teeth and washed his face. When he walked out into his living room that morning it was almost like he was staring at the living room of a stranger. The place wasn’t messy per say, but the beige tarp spread out in the corner of the room nursing a drying canvas was definitely out of the ordinary. He stepped closer to the couch looking over the back to see Mickey bundled in the grey blanket looking so fucking _perfect._ His lips pouted slightly, (oh how Ian longed to have his lips against those again) his black hair hanging a bit onto his forehead. There were a few small spots of red and black paint dotted across his left cheek bone and dare Ian say it was the cutest fucking thing ever. It was an absolutely breathtaking sight, at peace and innocent, the rowdy man looked as the orange glow from the rising sun danced across his skin. How could it be that Ian was seemingly falling harder and harder as the seconds passed and he barely even knew this guy?

 

He found himself smiling with the odd thought of _waking up to his every morning would be a fucking honour_. But realistically speaking Ian was completely bonkers. He had only just met this guy the day before and they had a lot of serious work ahead. Everything about this exhibit had to be perfect. He walked over to the canvas in the corner and peered down. It was one of the concepts he and Mickey had discussed the day before. The frail frame of the redhead girl stood partially in the shadows while her other half was bathed in red blood. The only colours standing out from the canvas was the pitch black, and the deep reds all tied together but the forest Green of her eyes. Ian could swear he had seen those eyes before but he couldn’t quite tell you where.

 

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to make a mess.” He heard the raspy voice sound behind him. He looked over to see Mickey sitting up, the blanket falling to his waist revealing his pale white bare chest as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

 

“No it’s alright. This looks amazing. You couldn’t sleep?” Ian asked looking back down at the painting.

 

Mickey smiled at the back of Ian’s head as the redhead admired his work, “Uh…not really. I had all these ideas floating around.” He said motioning with his hands around his head.

 

Ian laughed lowly as he turned back to Mickey, “that makes two of us…I had a spurt of inspiration last night, stayed up writing. I didn’t even hear you.” He walked pass Mickey and into the kitchen, “Coffee?”

 

“Please.” Mickey politely said as he reached for the remote to the television flicking it on to the weather channel. He then grabbed his T-shirt slipping it back on.

 

_“The snow storm has dissipated but the roads still remain impassible. We implore with all New Yorkers to stay put in doors until roads are cleared. First responders are giving high priority to emergency cases and seeking to restore power in areas that’s are without. In more news….”_

“I guess I’m stuck here until they open up the roads.” Mickey called as he walked toward the kitchen. He found Ian bent over into the cupboard his red pajama bottoms pulled tightly around his ass cheeks as he fiddled and knocked pans.

 

“That’s fine by me. How do you take your eggs?” Ian asked as he stood up turning around quickly to find Mickey completely checking the fuck out of him his tongue licking the corner of his mouth.

 

“Food is food.” He answered realising he had been staring for way too long.

 

“Scrambled fine with you? They’re my favourite.”

 

“Yeah, anything is good.” Mickey answered when in reality scrambled was actually his least favourite way to eat eggs.

 

“Okay.” Ian answered as he busied himself with making breakfast. “So tell me about Mandy…what’s she been up to since high school?”

 

Mickey looked around confused by the way Ian had gone on acting like nothing at all had happened between them the night before… _maybe it’s for the best_. “Well, she does accounting for a car dealership that her boyfriend owns and they live together now a little closer to  Upper East Side. But she’s doing good now.”

 

“That’s great. Look at us. Who’d have thought us Southies would reach further that part time jobs at diners and stealing milk for Monday breakfast.”

 

“Yeah…sometimes it feels like that was a lifetime ago.”

 

“Have you been back since you left?”

 

“No…got nothing to go back to.” He said bluntly as the coffee maker clicked off. He went then to help fill the two mugs Ian has set out.

 

“I’ve only been back a couple times. I’ve mostly missed all family holidays and shit because I’m always busy. And well this year is just gonna be another one I miss.”

 

“Family don’t visit?”

 

“Well they do, my little sister Debbie the most but, they’ve all got their own things so it’s isn’t as often as I’d like..” He said sadly as he scooped the eggs and bacon into two plates.  He held one out then for Mickey, “Bon apetite”

 

They were both sitting quietly at Ian’s kitchen counter shovelling food into their mouth. Ian was feeling an itch, like he needed to tell Mickey that he was completely okay with what happened last night. Or maybe Mickey wasn’t. _Fuck, what if Mickey hates him now for what happened?_

 

“So…maybe we should talk about what happened last night.” Mickey said almost like he was reading Ian’s mind.

 

“Okay…you go first.” Ian said pointing at him with his fork.

 

“Okay,” he said slowly, “I’m not mad it happened. Heck I’m not even sorry that it did. I think you’re hot as fuck. And clearly we both bat for the same team. And I mean technically for the next three week you’re my boss but technically you’re not. But I’d completely understand if you were one hundred percent against this.”

 

Ian sat there speechless. He stared like a dumb fool with an open hanging mouth. “Oh God…did I just fuck that up more? Please say something?” Mickey asked.

 

“No…no it’s not that at all. It’s just I think you’re really hot too and I’m not upset it happened last night either it’s just…I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. You know? Like I _am_ your boss. But….I can’t deny….this” he said motioning between them with his fork.

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“Can I get to know you? Because I’d really like that.”

 

Mickey could feel his cheeks get hot and red as he blushed and looked down to his now empty plate. “I’d like that too.” It was Ian’s turn then to blush as he got up taking Mickeys dishes with him. “I put a towel on the rack in the bathroom for you. And a new toothbrush. You know if you wanted a warm shower.” 

 

“Thanks.” Mickey said as he sheepishly backed away towards the bathroom.

 

 _Getting to know each other…I could do that._ Mickey thought as he dropped his mug in the sink and walked towards the bathroom completely unaware of the way Ian was leaned against the sink with a tilted head checking out the way his grey sweatpants was hugging Mickey’s ass.

 

 


	5. Any News?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The events that follow the snow storm. Mandy has big news for Mickey, while Fiona has none for Ian.

It was a day after the storm had blown in, that Blane had sent out an email to deliver the news that the company would be reopening the following day. Mickey was sitting on the floor of his apartment hunched over a canvas dabbing his brush against the woven fabric. His hands were stained with deep navy blues as he continued concentrating on his work. He had only started the large piece that would be the centre piece of the second section to the exhibit about an hour before. The image was slowly coming to life but Mickey knew it would be a long time before anyone would be able to tell a story from it. His phone beside him began vibrating violently against the hardwood floor startling him out of his concentration. _Mandy._ He used his only clean finger to swipe the phone call open and then put her on speaker.

 

“Hey.” He grunted hunching back over his work.

 

“ _Hey, you get home safe?”_ She asked the sound of a pot knocking in the distance.

 

“Yeah, I got home and slept. Sorry I didn’t call.” He said automatically barely paying attention.

 

“ _Mickey?”_

 

“Yeah?” He answered turning his full attention to the phone.

 

“ _Can you meet me at the diner for lunch? I’ve got something I wanna tell you_.” She said trying her hardest to keep calm.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“ _Nothing, Just meet me in an hour. Please._ ” She said before hanging up.

 

He finished a few more bits of his painting before heading into the shower to try and scrape most of the paint off himself. It had been the day after he had gotten back from Ian’s and he had tried everything he could to keep the redhead at bay in his mind. The kiss, those soft lips pressed against his own, the sweet taste of his tongue licking its way into his mouth. Mickey cursed aloud as he felt himself react to the thoughts. This wasn’t healthy. Fuck, this wasn’t normal. He stood below the hot showering water trying to pinpoint the last time someone had this kind of effect on him. And honestly he couldn’t even say. Not even with…. _no Mickey don’t even think about him._ He stood beneath the water for longer than he probably should have until he could feel his fingers prune.

 

He grabbed a clean sweater and jeans from his drawers and got himself ready to see his sister.

 

* * *

 

  It was after **10 am** , and Ian was buried under his blankets. He had gotten up at **6** to take his medication but then he headed straight back to bed. He had been up all night again writing and he tried his best to keel his routine and stay awake but his eyes had kept drooping low until he eventually passed out. Finally he woke when he heard his phone vibrating against the headboard. Evidently he pushed it under the pillows as he sprawled out during his sleep. _Fiona_. Quickly ignoring the call he threw the phone onto the pile of clothes on the floor and then went back to sleep. But it was the loud banging on his front door that jolted him out of his sleep again. Cursing to himself he slipped on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers and headed straight to the sound.

 

Yanking his door open he found Alex standing with his fist mid air like he was about to start banging again. “Finally.” He said pushing his way into the apartment. “I’ve been calling you for over two hours. Have you been sleeping all this time?”

 

Ian rubbed against his eyes as he padded into the kitchen to make coffee, “yeah, I was up all night writing.”

 

“Writing? I thought you’re supposed to be editing aren’t you supposed to be done with the  Rom-com?” Alex asked as he set his bag down on the counter.

 

Ian grabbed the weathered manuscript from the counter top handing it over to Alex, “I finished last night before I got into my writing.” Alex took the thick script, flipping through it. “Nice, I’ll drop these off to Adalyn when I leave. Did you forget you were supposed to me at Kate’s?” He asked. Ian and Alex met every Wednesday at the small diner to discus their work. It wasn’t often that you found yourself a mature assistant who also happened to become your best friend. They had grown close to one another after the last four years.

 

“No, I just overslept. Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. What you working on?” Alex asked pointing to the laptop that was sitting get on the kitchen aisle plugged in charging.

 

Ian shrugged before sheepishly bending his head “Uh remember that romance novel I told you I wanted to try?”

 

“The same one you started three years ago and got stuck?” Alex said taking the cup of coffee offered to him.

 

“Yeah, well I started back.”

 

“No shit, what’s responsible for this new insight?”

 

Ian just shrugged as he sipped his coffee.

 

“How’d it go with Mickey?” Alex asked quirkiness an eyebrow, knowing all too well about his boss’ crush. After all after the retrenchment meeting, Alex was the one Ian badgered for information on the former thug while they made their way to lunch.

 

“Not as good as things went with you and Violet.” Ian grinned cocking his red eyebrow high.

 

“You know about that? How?” Alex interrogated, his blue eyes growing wide.

 

“Mickey.” Ian laughed as he headed over to the couch.

 

“Well how does _he_ know about that?” Alex asked incredulously following Ian.

 

“Apparently he and Violet are really good friends and she told him, you know unlike you did.” Ian pointed out with a teasing grin playing on his lips.

 

“I was gonna tell you, I just wanted to make sure.”

 

“Well…”

 

“I really like her.” He simply said, his cheeks growing hotter and his dimples deeper.

 

“That’s great man, I’m happy for you.”

 

“What about you? You didn’t flirt with the totally straight thug and get your ass kicked right?”

 

“You have no clue how wrong you were about him.” Ian said as he laid back against the couch getting comfortable.

 

It took Alex a while before he was asking a little too loudly, “No shit! He is?”

 

“Mhmm”

 

“You fucked him didn’t you?”

 

“No! I didn’t fuck him. I’m not a slut you know,” Ian defended. Ian being a slut was the biggest joke between the two. They both knew better than that. What Ian was, was a workaholic. “What if I don’t want to _just_ fuck him?” Ian asked a little softer.

 

“Dude, it’s been like two days, you seriously thinking about that? What, you wanna ask him on a date or some shit?”

 

“Maybe…we’re _getting to know each other._ And we ….we kissed.”

 

“Wow! No Shit! Good for you! He’s a good piece of ass. I’m straight and even I can see it.” Alex laughed.

 

“What if getting involved…is a mistake. Like we get into trouble or something?”

 

“Trouble? This isn’t high school Ian. You’re two adults and there’s no rule about who you can and can’t sleep with. And if there is it’s clearly a secret because it was no where on my contract when I signed.”

 

“I guess you’re right.”

 

“Well…keep me posted. Anyway, I really came here to find out if to book you a hotel in New Jersey.”

 

Ian furrows his brows in confusion, “what for?”

 

“Jackson called, he said he knew you were interested in his exhibit because you were having one of your own. He’s inviting you to come see his next week.”

 

“Oh, right. Yeah book for two.”

 

“I don’t think I can make that day man, Violet’s brother is coming to town and she wants me to meet him.” Alex rambled.

 

“Not for you…for Mickey.” Ian said looking straight ahead avoiding his friends gaze.

 

“Oh…Trips away already? Isn’t that really soon?” Alex teased collecting a cushion to the head.

 

“It’s just as much his exhibit as it is mine. He should get to see how it works.”

 

“Fine. I want you to meet Violet by the way.” Alex said as he took his phone out to book the hotel.

 

“I already have.”

 

“No not in a work environment. Like as friends…please?”

 

“Fine but not before the Jersey trip okay? I’ve got a lot to handle.”

 

“Yeah sure. Also, call Fiona back. She’s been bugging me all morning.”

 

Ian rolled his eyes as he sunk lower into the couch. He loved his big sister. He really did, but sometimes he just wished he could ignore all the drama that came with his family. Alex got up to go to the kitchen for some more coffee, standing up he smacked Ian upside the head, “Call her! You don’t know if she’s got any news.”

 

 

* * *

 

Mandy was already at the burger place when he got there sipping on a coke while she thumbed through her phone. He slid into the booth shaking off snow and making that _brrrrr_ noise that Mandy hated. He grunted his hello while he waved at the waitress who always took their table.  He rubbed his now ungloved hands together yearning to be warmer.

 

“Hey” Mandy said looking up as he pushed her phone to the side. “You still have paint on your face, Mick.” Mandy complained as he wet her finger against her cooling drink and wiped the blue paint on his jaw.

 

“Whatever.” Mickey said as he smacked her hand away. “The regular.” He said as he saw the petite blue haired waitress lean against their booth.

 

“Like always.” She smiled as she winked at him before heading back to the kitchen. Mandy observed the entire exchange rolling her eyes.

 

“You do know that girl has a hopeless crush on you right?” She asked but only gained a twisted look like _yeah right_ from her brother, “How’d your meeting go?”

 

“Uh good.” He said avoiding her eyes because if it was one thing Mandy was really good at, was reading Mickey. He could be walking to the diner and see a hot guy and from the time Mandy saw him, she’d know and pry. When they were younger she had said something along the lines of the way his ears got red. However the fuck she figured that Mickey’s red ears meant he was crushing, was beyond him.

 

“What’d you think of Ian?” She asked as he took another sip of her drink.

 

“He’s great.” Mickey said nonchalantly trying his best to hide the blush that he knew was creeping onto his face.

 

“Great?! So not just good but _great_?” Mandy teased, “you like him” She said simply without any question.

 

“Shut up. I’m not talking about this with you.” He grumbled.

 

“Why not? We talk about me and Josh all the time.”

 

“Yeah because you and Josh are in a committed relationship not…not I don’t know.”

 

“Crushing on Ian?” Mandy asked as the waitress set their two plates before them. “Does that mean you’re over _him_?” She asked

 

“Shut up.” He warned again.

 

“Come on, Mickey. We never talk about him, and how he left. Maybe it’ll do some good to talk about shit. Maybe move on.”

 

“Shut up.” Mickey said deadpanned “Didn’t you have something you wanted to tell me?”

 

Mandy, instead of saying anything else turned and started digging through her bag. When she found what she was looking for she set it on the table before her brother. It was small, delicate in its curvature but it’s still stood for what it was. The gold band shone with the light streaming through the window and the tiny diamonds glistened.

 

“Where’d you get that Mandy?” Mickey asked. He knew what it was, and he knew where she had gotten it. But he needed to hear her say it.

 

“Josh asked me to marry him last night.” She said looking down at the ring like if it was burning a hole through the table.

 

“Congratu-” he started saying before quickly being cut off.

 

“Don’t congratulate me just yet. I haven’t said yes, yet.”

 

“What are you waiting for, bitch?” He asked looking back at the ring. He could now see why Josh had chosen it. It was very _Mandy_.

 

“I don’t know. I asked him if I could think about it. I wanted to talk to you first.” She said looking up at him. Looking at her wider blue eyes staring up at him, it was hard for him not to see the small little girl who would clutch to her pink rabbit stuffed toy while tears streamed down her face on The Southside.

 

He reached his hand out covering hers, it wasn’t very often that they displayed this kind of affection to each other but it wasn’t as new to them anymore either. “Mandy,” he started softly, “You deserve to be happy. And who better than Josh. He’s been there for you, supported you. He’s never raised his hand to hit you. He respects the fuck out of you. Why are you stalling?”

 

“I don’t know. I guess I wanted your blessing before I say yes.”

 

“You’ve got my blessing, Mandy, to do anything as long as you’re safe, healthy and happy. That’s all I want.”

 

“Thanks. Now…can you please talk to me about him?” She said trying to take advantage of his solemn mood.

 

“Nice try but no.” He said as he took a bite of his burger

 

 

* * *

 

After Alex had left his apartment that afternoon, Ian went to his bedroom where he grabbed his phone from the pile of clothing on the floor and then trekked back to the couch. The phone rang once before he could hear the loud background chatter before his sister’s worried voice came from the other end.

 

“ _Fifteen missed called Ian! Fifteen!_ ”

 

“Hey Fi.” He said softly.

 

“ _Hey? You miss my fifteen calls and all I get is a Hey?_ ”

 

“I was sleeping, sorry.” He said calmly.

 

“ _Are you okay?_ ” She asked more quietly now.

 

“Yeah. You?”

 

“ _Well, the best that I can be. You know providing…_ ”

 

“Yeah. Any news?”

 

“ _No._ ” She sadly said. And he could swear he heard a sniffle. It had been three weeks since their brother Lip had been seen or heard. They knew he was on a bender but providing that he was a recovering alcoholic, they were worried sick out of their minds. He had been to New York to visit Ian after he had just been released from rehab. He stayed for some time and then Ian had dropped him off to the airport. It was later that night when Fiona called frantically telling him that Lip’s flight had landed but he was no where to be seen.

 

“ _Tell me something exciting about you. Distract me._ ” She almost whispered.

 

“My exhibit’s coming along good. Uh remember Mandy?”

 

“ _Milkovich?_ ”

 

“Yeah. She and he brother apparently moved here a couple years ago. Her brother is the artist doing my exhibit.”

 

“ _Yeah? Which brother?_ ”

 

“Mickey.” Ian said and he couldn’t help but smile as he said the other man’s name.

 

“ _Oh yeah I remember him. He was a couple years younger than me. He was a real piece of work. He barely showed up to school until eventually I think he just said fuck it. He any good?_ ”

 

“Yeah, amazing actually. I’m meeting up with Mandy in a couple days. I thinks it’ll be good to finally have some friends around. You know, other that Alex.”

 

“ _I’m glad you’re doing good. Liam misses you. Carl’s never home anymore. Debbie is the only I see now and again._ ”

 

“Everyone pretty much left your nest huh?”

 

“ _I guess. Look I’ve gotta leave for my shift now so I’ll talk to you soon okay? I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. Don’t scare me like that again, Ian. Please._ ”

 

“Sure, Mom.”

 

“ _Not your mother…but I might as well be._ ”

 

“Yeah. Well go to work, have a good shift. And call me if you hear anything. I reached out to his old girlfriend Karen but she hasn’t gotten back to me yet.”

 

“ _Let me know if you hear anything too. I love you._ ”

 

“I love you too Fiona.”

 

* * *

 

Mickey was wearing the thickest sweater he could find over his Iron Maiden T-shirt and his most insulated winter coat as he made his way to work and yet he was still freezing his nuts off. He pushed the glass door of Harvey and Beck open and shook off the excess snow. The ding of the elevator doors pulled him out of his daze causing him to rush to stop the doors from closing. He got there just in time, sticking his hand between the closing doors causing them to bounce back away from each other. The elevator was empty except for the mailroom guy who leaned into the corner thumbing through his phone. As Mickey punched the 10 on the number pad the doors dinged and began closing until he heard a rushed, “Hold the elevator.” He quickly held it in time to see a flustered red head sauntering into the car with melting snow dripping from hair. He muttered a thank you as he yanked his gloves off and smacked the 10 on the number pad. It’s only after he had realised it was already pressed that he turned toward Mickey. Mickey had an amused smile across his face as he watched Ian be the late stressed mess he was.

 

“Hey.” Ian smiled toothily as he began blushing.

 

“Hey.” Mickey smiled back, “One day apart and you’re already hitting tenth floor to come see me.” He teased. Ian nervously laughed as he straightened up with confidence.

 

“Yeah, I couldn’t go another minute.” He said lowly so the mailroom guy wouldn’t hear. The two didn’t even notice that the elevator has gone down to the basement until the guy was asking to be excused out of the car. Then it was the two of them alone making their way up to tenth floor.

 

“How’d your mini snow storm vacation pan out?” Ian asked as he looked Mickey over.

 

“Good, worked a bit on the book 2 main piece and spent some time with Mandy. She got engaged by the way.” He causally threw in.

 

“Damn! Yours sounded eventful, I sat on my couch and edited all day.” But Mickey didn’t miss the way Ian’s eyes cascaded down to the floor of the elevator sadly.

 

“That’s comfy.” Mickey found himself saying trying to make Ian feel the slightest bit alright.

 

“You’re saying you remember how comfortable my couch is?” Ian asked stepping closer to Mickey.

 

“I do actually, very accommodating.” The tension in the elevator car was rising just as quickly as the car itself.

 

Before the two could step any closer to each other the doors dinged open onto the busy hustle of tenth floor. Mickey walked toward the new studio that was at the far end of the floor. He noticed Ian was following behind him keeping stride, “Are you following me or something?” He joked.

 

“No. I’m going to my office.” Ian said pointing to the black door with his name on it which happened to be next door to the tenth floor conference room now turned art studio.

 

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” Mickey quietly muttered to himself as Ian moved to unlock his door.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all are enjoying this story. thank you for all the support. i really appreciate it. <3


	6. Did you love him....do you love him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first week of working together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be up since yesterday but I haven't been well. Still am not doing so great so i will see how soon i can get chapter 7 to you. Thank you for being so patient well at least some of you were lol. Hope you enjoy.

The week that followed, both men found themselves actually sticking to their toast, _becoming friends._ They had developed somewhat of a routine. Mickey usually got to the office before Ian. He’d sit in his studio and start his work for the day. Ian would come in about an hour later with coffee, breakfast and a grin that could fuel the entire world. They’d sit and chat about any and everything. Ian was starting to pick up on small things that Mickey would do that he found oddly endearing.

The first was the way he’d picked the tomatoes out of his panini that Ian would buy them for breakfast. He dumped a shit ton of sugar into his coffee and he always, _always_ drank his coffee too soon and then he’d pull the cutest face ever when he slightly burnt his tongue. Wednesday morning they were sitting in Mickey’s workspace eating quietly as Mickey swivelled back and fort on his chair. He could see from the corner of his eyes that Ian kept looking at the tomato he picked out of his sandwich, in fact Ian always seemed to be staring at the tomato.

“You know, you can have it if you want.” Mickey said pushing his sandwich wrapper closer to Ian.

Ian smiled shyly before reaching forward and picking up the red slice of tomato and shoving it into his own sandwich, “You don’t like it? Should have told me.”

“Nah…it’s fine.” Mickey said as he continued eating. Mickey already felt bad enough that Ian bought him breakfast and refused to take any money for it, he wasn’t going to complain. The next day, Mickey got up earlier than usual so he could go the panini shop where he bought them both breakfast. He texted Ian to let him know and he was pleasantly surprised by the creeping blush he found the redhead with later that morning. But the person who was even more pleasantly surprised, was Ian, because even though Mickey bought his own sandwich that morning he still put tomatoes so Ian can get his.

Lunch was usually where the wind took them. If Ian wasn’t in meetings or busy, they sat in Ian’s office and ate but if the other was busy they’d sit in their respective spaces at their most convenient moment and rush their lunches. Thursday the pair were sitting on the rooftop garden that Blane took so much pride in. Ian was casually lounging on one of the sun chairs as he’d finished his lunch before Mickey. Mickey was still spooning potato salad into his mouth. He looked over at Ian who had his eyes closed as he the sun bathed his skin. His red hair glowing beneath the sun rays, Mickey found himself wanting to lean forward to kiss the away the wrinkles by the redheads eyes that were caused by his squinting. “You’re staring.” Ian said without opening his eyes.

Mickey quickly looked away as he blushed toward his meal. After a moment he said, “You know, if you want to ever stop by my place. To see the progress, I wouldn’t completely oppose to it.” The ginger beauty opened his eyes, letting a smile caress his face, “Yeah? I’d like that.”

It was after hours that was becoming Mickey’s favourite. Even if it had only been for a few days so far. He and Ian would sit and chat on the floor of Ian’s office while Mickey painted, drew or did whatever he had to in preparation for the exhibit. The tenth floor was mostly empty and it gave them a small sense of privacy with one another. In the week since they had first met, he had managed to completely finish two of the nine pieces. He was halfway through the third and he was confident enough that if he had sketched it out before he left work he’d be able to paint half of it by the nighttime. Ian was sipping on a Pepsi while shovelling fries down his mouth. Mickey was hunched over the sketch book drawing his draft.

“So…” Ian started swaying his feet side to side as he looked around, anywhere but Mickey, “Do you think you’ll be able to take a break from all this next week?”

Mickey looked up through his eyelashes at Ian wearing a confused yet intrigued face. “Depends…what you got in mind?”

“Well…my friend Jackson in New Jersey is holding an exhibit similar to ours and he invited us to come see it. It opens next week Wednesday. I was wondering if you’d want to go…with me.” He added. He could see the faint red creeping up Ian’s neck as his lips tightened into a blush.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Ian’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Yeah…Sounds fun.” Mickey then started packing up his pencils and rose off the floor, “it’s a date.” Mickey then added as he patted Ian’s shoulder on his way out Ian’s office “Where are you going?.” Ian called out.

“To take a piss.” Ian could only find himself smiling at the totally blunt and honest Mickey. The one he now had freaking date with.

 _It’s a date_. Maybe Alex wasn’t wrong. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea.

When Mickey came back to the office Ian had moved from the floor to the couch. His laptop perched on his lap as his reading glasses hung low on his face. “I didn’t know you wear glasses?” Mickey asked taking his place in the floor.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me Mick.”

It was some time after that Mickey responded gathering up enough courage to blurt the words.

“Teach me.”

“Teach you?” Ian asked with high eyebrows as he turned his attention to the guy sitting in his office floor.

“Yeah, teach me the things I don’t know. We’re _getting to know each other_ right? So teach me things about you.”

“Okay…like what, 21 questions?” Ian asked a he set his laptop down and pulled his glasses off.

“No, keep em on. I like them.” Mickey smiled with a quirked eyebrow as he took a sip of his water.

“Okay, you go first then.”

Mickey grabbed a pillow from the couch settling it behind his back as he leaned against the single chair, he tucked his knees to his chest as placed his sketchbook on them. He resumed sketching as he spoke, “Alright, what are you currently writing?”

Ian turned a little red as he pushed his glasses frame up his nose, “Romance novel. I’ve always wanted to try it but it never worked out. I finally feel inspired.”

“Oh that was a good one. Deep answer. Your turn.” Mickey teased.

“Okay. What made you move here?”

“To New York?”

“Yeah.” Mickey thought about it then before answering.

“Our dad had just died and Mandy and I finally felt like we could get a fresh start so we saved up and just left. It’s that simple. What about you?”

“I was working as at a diner after being diagnosed and I realised I didn’t want to be stuck there. I always wanted to write so I just did it. Went to Michigan, Portland, Denver, and then I came here.”

Mickey listened as he continued drawing. He had now gotten to the shackles of the victim and it felt almost fitting. Like he and Ian were talking about the things that once held them back.

“Are you out?” The question seemed to surprise Mickey causing him to look up from his work like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Yeah…” he slowly said, “it’s not that I’m in the closet. I just don’t flaunt it. You know? Guess I don’t have a reason to flaunt it.”

“A reason?”

“Yeah like I’m not in a relationship with anybody so I guess I got no one to care if I’m out or not. But I guess some day I’ll be more open about it.”

“Makes sense” Ian shrugged as he once again came to sit on the floor next to Mickey.

“Any serious boyfriends, Ian?” Mickey asked.

Ian chuckled lowly as he turned to Mickey, “No, actually. A few fuck buddies here and there but it never got to anything more than that you know? Now I just work work work I don’t have time for a fuck buddy.”

“Yeah…I know what you mean.” And he did. Mickey knew what it was like to have his head so far up his work’s ass that he couldn’t see the many guys who wanted to fuck him.

“So…I wanted to ask you since at my apartment.” Ian started, “Your ex…”

“Connor.” Mickey said allowing himself for the first time in months to say the name.

“ serious?”

Mickey scoffed, “Apparently I was too serious.”

“What?”

“I was too invested. Who was I kidding to think long distance could work right?” Mickey seemed genuinely upset by the entire thing now.

“Did you love him… _do_ you love him?”

“No. I thought I did. It just…it still hurts. Can we talk about something else?”

“Yeah.” Ian gave in seeing the way Mickey’s eyes glassed over.

“Tell me something I would have never guessed about you.”

“I was in the army.” Ian blurted for the first time since he probably left the army. This is what Mickey did to him.

“Army boy, huh? Didn’t like it?”

“They didn’t like me. I went manic there.” He simple said.

“Oh.”

The two of them then let the silence cover them as they let their thoughts drift for a while. Shortly after they were both getting ready and leaving the office.

“Lunch tomorrow?” Mickey asked as they got into the elevator.

“Ah…I’d love to but I promised Mandy. You could join us though.”

Mickey laughed, “I’d rather not, good luck with that though.” He said as they left the elevator.

* * *

  
Friday morning was no different for the two. They both sat and had their breakfast while Mickey asked Ian his opinion of colours and shades for one of the pieces. He had even gotten Ian to do his own sketch of how the hall would be set up for the big day itself. After they had finished their coffee Ian’s phone had gone off with a text. The brunettes instantly saw the way the redheads face fell as he pocketed his phone.

“What’s up?” Mickey asked.

“Just Alex, seems like publishing won’t be able to put together the collection set with all three books by the date for the release. They’re looking at mid February.”

“Shit, what’s the problem?”

“The printing isn’t coming out the way we want it. They haven’t figured out the configuration for the ink and that type of paper or some shit. Oh well,” Ian got up then throwing away their garbage and then walking back to Mickey. They were still the only two in the office at the time. He came close to Mickey, his belly leaning on Mickey ‘s arm.

“I’ll see you Monday, can’t hang out this evening. I promised Fiona I’d Skype call them. Have a nice day Mick.” And then he took Mickey by surprise as he bent down laying the most gentle kiss to Mickey’s cheek .

* * *

  
Ian was a guy who had a good heart. He genuinely felt happy for others when he saw them prospering. And that’s exactly how he felt when he saw his high school beard sitting at the restaurant table. The last time he had seen her, she wore her thick black hair long and unruly with bags falling to cover her forehead. Her face was usually littered with fading yellow bruises or new bloodied scrapes. He hadn’t known what to expect when she asked to meet him. But she sat there with her back still slouching the way it did as she read the menu. Her jet black hair was pulled neatly to the side of her face in a braid that Debbie had thought Ian to do on her own hair. But he couldn’t remember the name of it for the life of him. She still wore her nose ring, it seemed smaller than the silver one she had though. This was was a thing black ring that fit snugly against her nose fitting in with her pulled back brushed up persona. Her pale skin glowed healthily as she looked up to see him admiring her. She smiled widely and Ian couldn’t have been happier to see her.

She got up yanking him into her strong arms as she continued grinning. “Hey, you”

“Hey,” Ian smiled. They both took their seats still grinning. “It’s really good to see you, Mands.”

“You too, Hottie, big shot author now, I’m really glad to see you got what you wanted.”

“Thanks. You’re not doing so bad yourself.” He said pointing out the shining rock on her left hand. She blushed deeply as she looked at the piece of jewellery. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks. I missed you.”

“I missed you too” the waitress then approached them taking their orders and then their menus. Ian turned his attention back to Mandy as the waitress left, “So, tell me about this guy.”

  
Mandy had gone over the entirety of the years they had spent apart, and Ian sat and happily listened sometime wishing he had been there to see her flourish.

“Anyway, how about you? Anyone special in your life?”

Ian almost choked on the spoonful of soup in his mouth, he cleared his throat before answering her. If it was one thing he loved about the Milkoviches, was their bluntness. “No, just my work.”

“That’s great news, because I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I have a very gay, and single brother. Oh, wait, you know that.” Trust Mandy to try and be a matchmaker. The red flush that crept up the back and sides of Ian’s neck was involuntarily and no matter the amount of time they had spent apart, Mandy still knew Ian better than anyone.

“Ian! You like him!” She exclaimed earning them some glares from around the restaurant.

“Well, I mean what is there not to like?” He continued blushing. Mandy then took a big sip of her mimosa as she smiled at her friend.

“Oh, this could be so good! My brother, and best friend. Yeah don’t you think you got demoted. I tried asking him about you but, he refused. You however, don’t get excuses. Tell me everything.” There wasn’t a whole lot to tell but Ian didn’t miss the opportunity to go off on the man who had been constantly residing in his mind all week. “If I’d known he was gay back then I would have made an introduction, maybe would have kept him out of Juvie.” He talked and talked until his phone was buzzing from a very annoyed Alex who wanted to know why he was taking such a long lunch. Mandy and Ian parted with a tight hug and promise of weekly lunches. And for the first time since Ian had moved to New York, he had genuinely felt happy about something other than his work. He had Mandy back in his life and he wasn’t going to let go of her so easily again. He had Mickey, whatever it was between them Ian knew it was something worth it.

 

* * *

 

That night when Mickey got home, he was in fact over the moon about Ian asking him to go to New Jersey with him. He hadn’t spent the evening with Ian like he had been doing all week so while he sat in his work space drawing he had time to think about what Ian had asked him. He was beyond excited for the trip with Ian… _date_. It wasn’t a matter of trying to figure out if they liked each other. Whoever couldn’t see it had to be blind. It was a matter of if it was right. He walked into his kitchen with a dumb smile on his face as he pushed a microwaveable dinner to cook. He leaned against his kitchen counter waiting as the microwave plate rotated slowly. _Maybe this isn’t such a bad idea_. He heard his phone vibrate against the kitchen counter where he had left it. He moved thoughtlessly grabbing it and unlocking it. He clicked on the Facebook message automatically without glancing at the name. What he saw made an ocean of emotions flood through his gates almost knocking him over. His stomach turned over and the tears in his eyes momentarily clouded his vision. How could one person hurt him so much?

 **Connor** : _Hey, I miss you._


	7. Tomato Juice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey suffers the aftermath of the message from his ex, Ian finds himself doing something he did one too many times as a kid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still sick :( luckily for you, I have nothing better to do thanot write. I promise I'm taking this places.

Now, it wasn’t that Mickey was still in love with his ex-boyfriend Connor. No, that’s not the reason Mickey stormed out of his apartment that night to the convenience store a couple buildings down to buy a bottle of Jack and the cheapest Vodka he could fine. The reason for that was because Mickey didn’t usually trust people, he didn’t usually open up and let them into his life. But Connor was different. Connor was the first guy he willingly called his boyfriend. He swooped In with his fucking gorgeous smile and Mickey had fallen head first and rolled the rest of the way on his ass. He was the first guy he welcomed into his home without the fear of getting caught. He held Connor’s hand in public and he kissed him on fucking New Years Eve at parties for everyone to see. And what Mickey got in return was the feeling of being expendable. Like he could be thrown to the side and picked back up whenever someone wanted to play with him. He didn’t love Connor, not anymore. Or maybe he never did. It was more than evident that Connor hadn’t loved Mickey, ever. Whatever feelings he had for the man were gone. Disappeared, never to be seen again. It was the realisation of what he was worth to the someone who he had so willingly bared his soul too, that had him drowning himself in that bottle.

He guzzled the burning liquid as tears flowed down his face. His father always used to tell him he was a _worthless piece of shit_. It was that night that Mickey found himself feeling exactly like that. He wasn’t worth anyone’s time. He wasn’t worth anyone’s love. He was nothing but a good fuck.

Seven months had passed and he had heard nothing from his former lover. All he got was whatever picture the man was tagged in on social media and those weren’t anything that said Connor loved him. He staggered his way to his art corner where all his paintings were leaned against the wall. He had an entire stack with just paintings of him. He pulled them all out violently and got to work. He grabbed the sharpest knife off the kitchen counter and he began slicing his way through the tough fabric. Through the man’s ash blonde hair that curled softly up. His deep dimples that always came about when he laughed his infectious musical laugh. Straight down the centre of his face and across his hazel eyes. Mickey used to love that painting, the one that he drawn solely from memory of Connor having breakfast at his kitchen bench. But all those things were bad memories now, soundtracks of a nightmare blaring loudly. Too loudly throughout his apartment. Rumbling through the walls deafening Mickey. It was like thunder cracking through Mickey’s skull and scattering broken pieces of the life they used to have together around him. Mickey made his way through them all destroying art that had once made him giddy and proud inside.

He went to the kitchen and grabbed the big tub of ice cream Mandy had chucked in the freezer labelled _For emergencies only._ Guess this counts right? He sat on his kitchen floor against the cupboard downing Jack and sucking ice cream off the spoon.

* * *

  
That Saturday morning Ian woke at **6 am** like any other day, took his medication and then went back to bed. He lay there scrolling through his phone for some time replying to emails, replying to Debbie’s text messages and just being lazy for once. He could go for a run, or he could finish editing the two books he had to hand in that Monday. But after spending lunch with Mandy the day before, and then hustling home after work to make a Skype call with his family, Ian hadn’t seen Mickey since the morning before. Ian felt a curl in his stomach at the thought of the brunette, and a twinge in his heart. He was missing Mickey, more than he should. He got up off his bed and took a warm shower because the weather outside was just get more brutal as the days went by.

Mickey had opened the invitation to swing by his place anytime he wanted, Ian was going to take full advantage. He got dressed and looked over to his bedside clock **10:35 am.** Mickey should be awake by now....right?

He had been by Mickey’s apartment once since the week he had known him. Simply dropping him off and then hustling away to a meeting. This time however he was going up. He pulled out the little scrap of paper Mickey had stuck in his jacket pocket ; _7b_.

By the time he had made it up to the seventh floor and found Mickey’s door, Ian was a mess of nerves. What if Mickey would be creeped out by him just showing up on a Saturday morning? Fuck! He swallowed the lump in his throat and then raised his hand to knock, when his hand collided with the door the first time, it swung slowly open. The door wasn’t locked....heck the door hadn’t even been closed.

“Mickey?” He called still standing in the door way. _No answer._

“Mickey?” He called again stepping into the apartment. He kept calling but he still got no answer. He looked around the studio apartment. The place was an absolute mess. There were destroyed paintings, ripped canvases and sketches torn to pieces. There was sour stench lingering in the air. What the fuck happened here? It seriously looked like someone had broken in and was looking for something specific. Ian finally turned in the direction of the kitchen and that’s when he saw him. Lying on the kitchen floor in the same clothes he had been wearing to work the day before. His cellphone in one that laid on his chest the other clutching to an empty Jack Daniels bottle. A pool of vomit beside his head and some smeared against his face.

“Fuck, Mick!” He whispered before hustling over to the brunette. Ian went into overdrive. This, he was good at. All his siblings were. They had to deal with it all their lives. He took the dishcloth hanging beside the sink, ran it under the running water and then stooped down to clean Mickey’s face. He could feel his throat tightening up at the sour smell but he cleaned the mess off the kitchen floor and off Mickey’s face. He placed the empty bottle of Jack on the counter and the empty ice cream container into the sink. He ran a hot bath like he’d always do for his mother and then he went back beside Mickey.

“Mick?” He called as he brushed a stranded of hair from his face. “Mick? Fucking hell, Mick!” He huffed as he lifted the man off the floor and took him to the bathroom. He reeked of sweat and stale alcohol and with every step toward the bathroom Ian could feel his heart breaking more inside at the sight of Mickey. He stripped Mickey of his clothes, turning away as he pulled the man’s underwear off. He hadn’t expected the first time he took Mickey’s boxers off to be like this.

He helped him into he tub and then knelt beside it. He wet his hand in the warm water and patted Mickey’s cheek calling out to him. “Fuck, Mick! Wake up. Come on.” Mickey came too slightly mumbling incoherent words at first. Until his slurs became louder.

“That all I was good for?” He asked his eyes staring past Ian. Ian dipped a sponge into the water and began wiping at Mickey’s face.

“Good for what, Mick?”

“A fuck! That’s all I’m good for, huh Connor? You never loved me.” He slurred before he turned his head away from Ian. Ian didn’t say another word after that. He helped Mickey out of the bathtub and wrapped him in his towel. He brought clean underwear from a drawer and slipped it onto the brunette who was still mumbling about never being good enough. He led him out to his bed and pulled the sheets back. Mickey climbed into the bed and then buried himself under the covers. It broke Ian’s heart to hear those words leave Mickey’s mouth, that’s all he thought he was. He thought he wasn’t worth the care and adoration Ian so badly wanted to shower him with. He rummaged through another drawer until he found a pair of socks and then slipped them onto Mickey’s feet. Despite its windows being shot the apartment had a cold draught that kept coming and going.

“Come here,” Mickey mumbled reaching his hand out to Ian. Ian sighed looking into his hopeless blue eyes, before climbing in beside him. After twenty minutes of lying like that Mickey mumbled again, “I hope Ian is different.” And then he fell asleep.

Ian couldn’t tell how long he laid like that, with his arm around Mickey pulling him in close to his chest. When he was sure Mickey was fast asleep, he slipped out of the bed and went into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and looked through. For a guy who hated tomatoes, it was odd that Ian found a bag of fresh tomatoes in his fridge. He took out the blender and got started on the best hangover cure Fiona had taught him.

“Fuckkkk!” He heard Mickey groan loudly from the bed that lay across the room. He poured the drink into a glass and then went over to him. He found Mickey sitting up rubbing at his eyes. The sheets falling below his waist. Mickey looked up at Ian with furrowed brows and the most confused expression. “What the fuck happened?”

“I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me.” Ian said handing the glass over to Mickey as he pulled a chair from the corner to sit.

Mickey looked down at his half naked body then back up at Ian. “Did we? Did I drunk text you? Shit!”

“You didn’t drunk text me.” Ian smiled, “I came over to see how things were coming with the piece you were doing. And well I found you passed out in your kitchen floor in your own vomit. What happened Mick?”

“ _Mick_ …that happened? The bathtub and all that shit?” Mickey asked his face flushing bright red.

“Yeah.” Ian said softly.

“Fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you do that. Shit!”

“Don’t apologize, Mickey. Just…tell me what happened?” Ian asked. Mickey’s face straightened quickly into a blank façade. He looked away from Ian, his eyes scanning over the mess of his room. Mickey then looked to the glass of red juice.

“What’s this?”

“Tomato juice. Best hangover cure.” Mickey glared at Ian’s grinning smile. “You know, for a guy who hates tomatoes…why the fuck do you have so many in your fridge?”

Mickey pinched his nose as he gulped the juice down quickly then shuddered at the taste, “I…Uh I bought those for you. I was going to invite you for dinner.”

“Well, I’m sure I was going to say yes.” Ian smiled as he came to sit next to Mickey on the bed. He raised a hand holding Mickey’s cheek gently as he brushed his hair back, “You don’t wanna talk about it….no problem. You just really fucking scared me. And I know I probably don’t have a right to be….especially after only knowing you for a week. But I’ve seen people passed out in their own vomit. They don’t always wake up Mickey.” Mickey gripped Ian’s arm leaning into his palm.

“I know. I’ll tell you. But not now okay?” Ian could only nod as he leaned his head forward resting their heads together.

“You’re really fucking me up Milkovich.” He smiled.

“You too Gallagher….you too.” Mickey tugged at Ian’s sweater arm avoiding his eyes, “You think you could stay for a bit?” He asked.

“Yeah. I gotta meet Alex in two hours but I could stay until then.” Once again Mickey surprised Ian when he reached for him pulling him down to lay behind him. Ian snaked his arm around Mickey holding his warmth near.

Reluctantly, Ian left two hours later to go to dinner with Alex. As soon as Mickey closed the door behind him he leaned onto it whispering, “fuck.”

He bustled around his apartment stacking all the ripped up art into a pile to throw away. He swept and then cleaned the kitchen. When he was done he unlocked his phone dialling, “ _Hey Assface.”_

“I’m ready to talk, Mands.”

_“I’ll buy Chinese. Josh and I are on our way.”_

“Can it just be us?”

“ _You want to talk about Connor?”_

“Yeah.”

 _“Well I think Josh should be there. Just trust me okay?_ ”

“Okay. And Mands? We’re going to need more emergency ice cream.”


	8. PS Thanks For Bathing Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey does the thing he hates doing,talking about his feelings, Mandy relives a memory that changed her brothers life seven months ago. Ian isn't scared so easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you so much for your support and kind words. I really wanted this to be up since two days ago, but as I said I haven't been well, and I'm still dealing with some of that as well as I'm trying to organise to go back to Uni. Thanks for waiting I know it wasn't a long wait but still. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter.

  
Growing up it was always Mickey protecting Mandy. Whether it be from their father or from guys who thought it was okay to treat her like shit, Mickey always came to her rescue. Even though they were both aware that Mandy could very much take care of herself. Mandy on the other hand never got to protect Mickey. She always knew that if the opportunity arose she was more than willing and capable. But as teens growing up the opportunity never came by, she never got to come to his rescue and stop the world from hurting him. That was until she discovered the truth.

 **Seven months ago:**  
Mandy had really liked her job at the coffee house. Everyone was nice and she got to do something she had spent so much time getting good at. It didn’t matter that her boyfriend of two years already was nagging her to come work for his family’s car dealership. She had expected for them both to make it far and to be together for a long time. So she told him, _when the time is right._ Mandy had gotten her job at the coffee house two years prior because of Connor, her and Mickey’s first friend since moving to New York City and now Mickey’s boyfriend.

The three of them spent almost all of their time together until Mandy had met Josh. She had already considered the boy part of her family. Mainly because she saw him do something for Mickey that she had never seen anyone capable of doing before. _Making him happy._

That Wednesday Mandy had been working the late night shift, bringing coffee to students from the college a couple blocks away, who were busy studying. She was tired to say the least, her eyes drooped low and her back was aching. She made her rounds around the shop letting everyone know they’d be closing in twenty minutes. Soon enough people started to filter out of the shop leaving their mess behind. She started tidying up as quickly as she could. She just wanted to get to bed at this point.

A couple minutes before they were ready to close up for the night, Josh walked in kissing her on her cheek and taking his seat at the counter waiting for her to go home. They had just recently moved in together and were excited to finally to spend time together in a space of their own. “Just give me like fifteen minutes, babe, let me help Connor clean up and I’m all yours.” She smiled. Connor was busy cleaning the espresso machine but he looked over and gingerly waved at Josh. They weren’t close, in fact Josh didn’t particularly like the guy, but he kept quiet about it. Although Mandy had taken pride in how good a judge of character her boyfriend was, she had begged him to give Connor a chance for Mickey’s sake but Josh still stuck with _something about that guy rubs me the wrong way._

Josh just waved back and continued on his phone waiting for Mandy. Mandy hand finished up and was making her way to Josh when Josh pointed to corner of the shop. She noticed there was still this one guy sitting in the corner with his book and a take away coffee. In fact, she had paid attention enough to know that this guy stuck around until closing time every other night. At first she had thought that maybe he liked Kelly the other waitress but it was odd the way the guy just sat there and had actually never talked to Kelly or her for that matter. She approached him and gently tapped the table to get his attention.

“We’re closing in five minutes.” She then walked away and took her apron off.

“Hey you can go, I know you wanna get home to your fancy apartment. I’ll close up.” Connor smiled as he moved to washing the last few mugs in the sink.

“You sure you don’t need help with this one?” She said pointing over her shoulder at the guy.

“No, he usually leaves like two minutes before we lock up. Go on I’ll catch you tomorrow.”

Mandy smiled and hugged the guy she hoped would be a future brother-in-law before grabbing her bag from under the counter and then walking out with Josh. They closed the chiming door behind then and started toward their home. Before they could reach far Josh grabbed her wrists pulling her close to him as he pecked her giggling lips. “I love you so much” he whispered.

“I love you too.” They then walked a couple more steps before Mandy exclaimed, “Shit! I forgot my phone charging in the Ben’s office.”

“Okay, Let’s go back.” Josh said as they turned and headed right back to the coffee house.

“Sorry, babe. It’ll only take like a minute.” She said as she walked backwards into the shop and pushed the door open. She immediately saw the change in Josh’s face causing her to turn abruptly looking into the shop. There he was, like a deer caught in the headlights. His curls messed up and his lips swollen and wet. The guy who had been sitting in the corner a few short moments before was paused while sucking at Connor’s jaw, his hand noticeably rubbing Connor’s deflating boner.

“You need me to handle this babe?” Josh asked lowly.

She wasn’t just flooded with anger, she felt betrayed, lied too. Growing up the way they did, there was one thing they valued most, loyalty.

“No…I got it.” Mandy strode straight up to him, she pushed the other guy away and collared him tightly. “You’re really fucking brave. What? You think Mick’s not good enough for you? You’re wrong. You’re not good enough for him.” She slapped him flatly across the face before walking away to the back. She grabbed her phone and was about to leave, on her way to tell her brother when she stopped and turned on her heels and walked right back into his space.

“You know that gig in France, the one Mickey’s been trying to convince you to take? You’re gonna take it. You’re gonna go and you’re not gonna call or text. You stay as far away from Mickey as possible. You’re lucky I don’t want to hurt him like this. I’m not gonna tell him but if I see you around here again. You be sure I’ll ruin you.” And Connor knew better than to think it was an empty threat.

**Present day :**

“Are you going to tell him?” Josh asked as he struggled with the groceries they’d picked up on the way.

“You think I should?” Mandy asked as she hit the button to call the elevator down.

“Well let’s just see what kinda frame of mind he’s in. But I think it’s time he knows. Connor’s not coming back.”

“He better not.” Mandy muttered as they entered the empty elevator.

“What would you do if he did came back though?” Josh asked eyeing his fiancée carefully.

“That’s for me to know, babe. Don’t worry about it.” She turned on her heels and pecked his lips.

“You’re terrifyingly beautiful. You know that? Even more so that I know the things your dad once taught you. Don’t do anything too illegal, okay? I can’t lose you.” He said kissing her soft lips again. The elevator opened onto Mickey’s floor and the two climbed out and walked the long hallway.

When Mickey opened his door, Mandy immediately smelled the detergent strong and fragrant. “Oh, this is bad. You passed out drunk?! Lying in your pool of vomit drunk?!” She asked as he pushed her way into the tiny apartment. Mandy’s intuition was something that never failed to remind the siblings of their late mother. How the fuck she knew that much detail made Mickey feel to have his apartment swept for hidden cameras.

“Yes, Ma. Don’t worry I’m already scolding myself.”

“How bad we talking?” Josh asked setting the bags down.

“Real bad. Like Ian found me and bathed me bad.” Mickey grimaced as he started digging through the bags.

“Oh fuck, Mickey! I thought you said you didn’t drink like that anymore!” Mandy said with her eyebrows cocked high, one hand on her hip and the other clambering down on the back of Mickey’s head. The splitting image of their mother.

“OW Bitch! I don’t, a’right? It just happened.” Mickey answered softly hanging his head low. “I didn’t mean for to mess shit up like that with him. Fuck!”

“What happened?” She asked softer than before as she came by to stand next to him and place a hand on his shoulder like she wasn’t just hitting his head _. I feel sorry for the children she’d have one day._ Mickey thought.

Mickey grabbed the bags of Chinese food while Josh grabbed plates. They all sat around Mickey’s tiny kitchen bench as they started taking food out. Mandy came here because Mickey wanted to talk. She knew better than to push. “Connor messaged me.” Mickey eventually said. Mickey immediately noticed the way his sister’s face straightened and hardened at that.

“That fucker.” She muttered. Josh reaches his hand, placing it over her, “babe.” He whispered.

“That nasty fucker. What did he say?!”

“Hey I miss you. I didn’t respond.” Mickey said looking down at his lo mein.

“Mickey…there are some things you should know” Mandy said as she placed her elbows on the table. And that’s how she told him. She told him everything about that night, and how she had told Connor to leave as soon as he could.

“What the fuck, Mandy?! You should have told me. It would have made the last seven months a whole lot easier.”

“I know and I’m sorry but I just didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I know.” Mickey rubbed his hand down his face trying his best to collect his thoughts. It wasn’t entirely shocking. Not after he had seen how Connor had carried himself on social media. All that Mickey had already considered cheating. “Thanks, Mands. How long did you think it was for…the affair?.”

“I’d say the guy was coming in there for about a couple months…I used to think he had a thing for Kelly. Guess I was wrong.”

“So what are you going to do? Are you gonna explain to Ian?” Josh asked.

“I don’t know if I can. What do I say? _Hey my ex, who cheated on me by the way, messaged me a simple I miss you and I was so hung up on it I nearly drowned in my vomit. Ps thanks for bathing me?_ Maybe I should just put things on the back burner for a bit with Ian.”

“So there are _things_ with Ian then?” Mandy teased her ears peeking up. “I thought you to-”

“Babe, Wait.” Josh said patting her knee knowing that that was another discuss to come, “Put things on the back burner with Ian, is that something you want to do Mick? You gotta think this shit through. Don’t do shit you don’t want.” Josh asked always being the sensible one of the three.

“No, it’s not.” Mickey rubbed at his face holding his head.

“Ian’s an understanding guy, Mickey, if you don’t wanna quit things with him, maybe you should tell him.” Mandy said

“Yeah. But I really fucking like him okay? Like I can’t explain it. But I have felt things in this last week that I never had in the three years I was with Connor. I’m not gonna fuck it up and make the guy think that he’s some fucking rebound.”

“So what will you do then? Hide it? And what happens if you do end up dating Ian. Three years from now and he asks you what happened? Will you lie?”

“No. One day I’ll tell him. Just not right now.” Mickey huffed as he mindlessly twirled his fork in his noodles. “He asked me to go to New Jersey with him. We’re supposed to leave on Monday, maybe I should slow it down and not go.”

“Like a couple trip? Or….”

“Like a work thing but also a date thing.”

“I think you should go.” Josh said causing both heads to turn to him, “I’m just saying, and hear me out before you two Milkoviches jump on me. If Mick likes Ian and he’s saying he doesn’t love Connor anymore, why sit around your apartment wishing you had gone when really there is nothing holding you back from going but you and your fear of what you’re actually feeling. I love both of you guys but there comes a point when you’re both going to have to get over the fear of your feelings.”

Both pairs of blue eyes were grown wide with shock at the way Josh had slewed out his words. He wasn’t usually one to say so much in one go. When he saw the way they were staring he continued with a shrug, “Or you could not listen to the guy from the Upper East Side who never knows what he’s talking about.”

Mandy sighed as she looked at her brother’s swollen eyes, “I actually think Josh is right. You should go. It’s time you fully move on that you know the truth. You have nothing to feel guilty about because it’s been seven months since he left. And with Ian….You really like him?” Mickey nodded. “Well then I think you should give it a shot. Just…even thought I know he’s a good guy…just be cautious. Don’t dive so head first into it?”

“And even if you do, we’re here.” Josh added patting Mickey’s shoulder.

“Thanks. I’ll think it through.” Mickey said pushing his food around his plate. “Can we break out the booze now because I didn’t get to celebrate with you guys.”

“Celebrate what?”

“Your engagement, you fuckers.”

* * *

  
_Mickey: Hey, I’m sorry for that shit this morning. I will explain. When I’m ready. I just thought I’d say thanks._ Ian blinked twice to clear his sleepy eyes as he stared at his phone screen. He had been working non stop since he got back from his late lunch with Alex. And now he was still sitting in front his laptop when he got Mickeys text.

_Ian: It was no problem at all. Glad I can help. Whenever you’re ready, I’m here. Are you okay?_

He sighed shutting his laptop and setting it onto his nightstand. He grabbed his thick sweater from the other side of the bed and slipped it on trying his best to get warm.

_Mickey: I’m getting there. Again thanks. Are we still on for Monday? Or did I completely scare you away._

_Ian: We’re still on for Monday. Trust me I don’t scare that easily. I must admit I did get one good thing from this._

_Mickey: Yeah? And what’s that?_

_Ian: I got to cuddle you and it was the best thing thus far of getting to know you._

_Mickey: I don’t cuddle._

_Ian: Yeah right. I guess I’ll just have to get you drunk to prove my point._

_Mickey: Are you planning on taking advantage of me? I am appalled._

_Mickey: okay you’re right cuddling does sound good._

_Ian: I felt good too;) don’t worry I’ll show you._

_Ian: okay wait ignore that. It was super lame._

_Mickey: I can’t ignore. It was horrendous. But I do look forward. I’ll see you Monday._

_Ian: see you. I’ll ttyt I’m going to bed. Been writing since 3pm_

_Mickey: goodnight and once again. Thanks._

Ian fell asleep easily that night, it was a combinations of knowing Mickey would be okay and his well exhausted mind. He hand one more day to wait before he and Mickey would go to Jersey together. He was excited to say the least. He breathed in a deep contented breath as he turned over spooning his pillow. Maybe he even imagined it was Mickey.


	9. You Keep Fucking Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian embark on their New Jersey trip. (Part one to the Jersey trip)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys this is the last update of my vacation. I go back out to school on Monday, so updates might come a little more spaced out. It all depends on my time schedule. Thank you all for your kind words. Hope this chapter lives up to your expectations.

His bags were already packed and he was sitting on his couch waiting for Ian to call. He’d never gone on a trip before with another guy, so this was well out of his territory. He breathed in and out. His phone buzzed awake with a call at that moment. Mandy.

“Hey,”

_“Hey, have you left yet?”_

“No, I’m still waiting.”

Mandy sighed deeply, _“I know you’re scared to tell him because you don’t want him to think he’s a rebound. But I really think you should tell him, Mick. He’s probably one of the most understanding people I know.”_

“Fuck….Mandy I told you I’ll tell him when I’m ready Okay?”

“ _Okay…just think about it okay? And have fun. You deserve it.”_

“Thanks. I’ll text you when I get there.”

There was a small knock on his door then calling him off the phone with his sister. On the other side of the wooden panelled door, Ian was tightly bundled into his winter coat with a maroon beanie hugging his head. “Hey,”

“Hi.” Mickey greeted motioning for Ian to come inside.

“You ready? The cab’s downstairs waiting.”

“Yeah, let me just get my phone charger.” Mickey smiled as he went to the side of his bed. He yanked his drawer open and pulled the charger out, sparing a second glance at the box of condoms he had there. He closed the drawer leaving them there because in all honesty Mickey wasn’t ready. Sure after the break up he had made his way through North side gay clubs, but this was different. He caught eye of his sketchbook journal on his desk, thinking it over he quickly picked it up and his pencil case.

He grabbed up his duffel bag and then walked to the door, “Let’s go.”

“You sure? It’s your last minute to back out.” Ian shyly said as he stuffed his hands in his coat pocket.

“I’m not backing out.” Mickey said. He closed the distance between then gripping the collar of Ian’s coat. “I’m actually really excited about this.”

“Me too.” Ian grinned as he dipped his head and kissed Mickey’s cheek.

Mickey blushed as he pulled away, “You really gotta stop doing that, man.”

Ian’s face straightened as he heard Mickey’s words. But Mickey quickly jumped in with a smirk, “it fucks me up.” Ian smiled widely as he grabbed Mickey’s elbow leading him out the door. This was going to be a good three days.

The cab drive was short. Mickey had the impression that they would be paying for the cab to take them to the airport or maybe drive them all the way to Jersey. Even if that would make a hefty cab fine. He looked out the window to see they had stopped in from Hectors auto shop just on the outskirts of Manhattan. “Why are we stopping here?” Mickey asked.

“My car has been here for the last week doing some work on it. It’s finally done.” Ian climbed out and went over to the greased stained guy in overalls who was walking out the garage. Mickey watched how Ian smiled with ease as he collected his keys and then went out back. Soon enough Ian was pulling up in a shiny sleek, black 1968 Chevy Camaro. The cabbie was already out the car collecting their bags from the trunk and taking it over to Ian’s car.

Mickey climbed out and with a loud whistle he looked the piece of machinery over. The car was a piece of art in Mickey’s eyes, it’s angular dynamics and flared out kit was beastly in its look. Ian climbed out the drivers seat smiling shyly. How it is that the guy drove a beast like this but was still as timid and gentle as he was, was all the more sexy to Mickey. “I don’t get to drive her much but I figured now is a good chance as any.”

They quickly situated themselves into the classic and started for the two and half hours drive away from the city.

* * *

  
The drive was quiet, it started with small chats and light laughter until Ian noticed Mickey’s eyes drooping with sleep. After than Ian spent the rest of the ride driving while Mickey napped, ever so often he’d sneak a glance at the peaceful man. Ian was finding it harder to take Alex’s advice from their lunch that weekend. _Don’t rush shit, take your time._ How could he waste any time he had with Mickey dancing around what he was really starting to feel.

No matter how drunk or high or manic she was, Ian’s mother used to strangely enough, give good advice. He remembers when he was just fifteen years old he had come home one day to find his mother to be back from one of her six month benders. His older sister Fiona had been talking in the kitchen with her best friend Veronica about the new guy she had met, Monica was ‘baking cookies’. Despite actually never finishing making the cookies and nearly burning the house down, she left her kids with one really good piece of advice that day. Fiona had been saying _I don’t know, V. It’s been what three days since I’ve known the guy? Why the fuck am I thinking about what kind of life we would have?_

Monica then said something that stuck with Ian since then, even if the situation didn’t pertain to him and even though none of them had even noticed he was listening from his place at the dining table. “ _Why do you define things by time? So what, you’ve known this guys for three days? Let me tell you something, love doesn’t know time, when you meet someone and that person sets something on fire inside of you, fuck time. You should seize every single moment you get to feel that way. Because you never know when it’s gonna end. When I met you dad, I knew him a total of fifteen days before I told him I love him. And you know what? Twenty four years later and I still fucking mean it.”_

Ian knew he was falling too quickly for his sanity. And maybe it was because he had never had a relationship before, or because he was tired of being alone. But sat in that car on the highway, Ian couldn’t help but think about what kind of life he could have with the man in the passenger seat. What kind of story he could have.

The hotel was a new building constructed on a busy corner in the heart of the town. A mass structure of silver steel and glass, standing tall amongst its neighbours. “Hey, Mick.” Ian called gently shaking the man’s shoulder, “We’re here.” They both grabbed their bags from the car and Ian handed over the keys to the young valet. After checking them in at the front desk Ian and Mickey, made their way by elevator to their room. When the elevator doors closed after letting a couple out on the floor below their room Mickey smirked at Ian, “So, you make it a habit to carry all the artists you work with on trips away from the city?”

It was a joke but Ian quickly defended with fear that Mickey would think he was a notch on his bedpost, “No, I swear to God you’re the only one.”

“Relax, I’m kidding.” The elevator opened and they stepped out into the carpeted hall, “Only one huh? Gotta say I like the sound of that.”

Ian swiped the key card and held the door open while Mickey went in. “Presumptuous fucker, aren’t you?” Mickey asked turning on his heels with a shit-eating grin.

Ian looked up from the door handle and saw that low and behold in the middle of the room sat one large king size bed. “That sneaky bastard.” Ian muttered thinking of the best way he could chop Alex’s nuts off, “Mick, I swear to God. This is all Alex. Shit I’m gonna chop his nuts off.”

“Hey, hey relax I was just busting your balls man, you cleaned puke off my face I think we can more than share a bed.” Mickey smiled setting his bag down on the ottoman at the end of the bed. “I’m gonna take a quick shower. Do you wanna order some room service?”

Ian smiled throwing his bag to the floor and then grabbing through phone off the nightstand, “Sure, what do you want?” Mickey shrugged then smirked, “Surprise me,”

* * *

  
When the dinner arrived at the door, Mickey had just finished a cycle of freaking the fuck out, showering, maybe jacking off a bit and then freaking the fuck out a little bit more. He was pretty much in a hotel with the guy who he seriously wanted to mount or have mount him but at the same time he wanted to wait and make it special and see where this went with Ian and all that emotional shit. Maybe Mandy was right, maybe he should lay all his cards on the table. Being honest with Ian about things he wasn’t usually comfortable talking about came easily to him, so this shouldn’t be all that hard.

He heard Ian calling his name from the room so he grabbed his towel and started drying his hair while he walked out into the room. The cool air caressed his bare thighs that his boxers didn’t cover. Ian looked up from the tray where he was uncovering food and his eyes gazed over Mickey. Taking in every inch of him. Mickey knew he looked fucking good in his violet Henley and boxer briefs. Ian’s mouth slightly hung open at the sight. “If you want me to put more clothes on it’s fine.” Mickey said immediately moving pass Ian to get to his bag.

Ian grabbed his wrist, his eyes still on Mickey’s muscular thighs, “It’s fine. I like you like this.” Ian said almost inaudibly. Mickey couldn’t help the red flush that heated beneath his skin, creeping up and radiating off him. Ian broke from his trance looking over the food, “I got you a steak. I didn’t know how you liked it so I got it how I eat it, that way it won’t waste.”

“And how do you like your steak, Ian?” Mickey asked looking up through his long eyelashes making the question a million times more sexy than it should be.

“Rare…really really rare.” Ian’s voice cracked at the end causing him to swallow and clear his throat. “I also got potatoes…garlic potatoes.”

“You’re lucky I like my steak really fucking rare.” He said as he grabbed his plate and took a seat on the bed. Ian still seemed entranced by Mickey. He moved slowly admiring and drinking in the way Mickey made himself feel at home and fit in anywhere he went. Mickey exuded a kind of confidence that entrapped Ian, making him fall deeper and deeper. A man who was confident in his skin and talent was a fucking sexy man in Ian’s eyes.

Ian sat next to Mickey as they started eating, “Can’t imagine you have any plans for us seeing the weather is so much shit! So what are we supposed to do for tonight and tomorrow?”

“Well” Ian started feeling even more embarrassed, “I…fuck I feel dumb now saying it out loud.”

“Oh come on! You got no reason to feel shame with me man. I have none.”

Ian chuckled, “I made Alex book us massages and a spa treatment. I know it sounds really fucking gay but I see how your back aches when you’re concentrating painting and I thought it’ll be a good idea, I just-”

“Ian, I think it’s good idea.”

“You do?” Ian asked his eyebrows furrowing.

“Yeah, I’ve actually never had a massage…well actually that’s a lie. Mandy took me this one time and the girl was trying to _get it on_ with me so hightailed the fuck out of there.”

The night passed on with them eating and then laying beside each other talking. At some point Mickey grabbed a pack of playing cards, Mickey wanted to play either Slapjack or his favourite that his uncle a Ronnie taught him, Shithead. But he quickly gave in to Ian’s puppy dog eyes and they played a solid game of Go Fish. Ian stepped away at a few minutes to ten to take a shower while Mickey rummaged through the bag Ian had brought with his favourite dvds. “Bitch, how could you not have a single Steven Seagal movie. Double Impact?! Why the fuck did you bring like three copies of that shit? Why do you own three copies of that shit?” Mickey grumbled from the edge of the bed.

At the sound of the bathroom door clicking open he looked up to find Ian running a towel through his wet hair, small droplets dripping from his darkened red hair, down his shoulders and his bare torso. His pale smooth skin was lightly freckled like the way the stars decorated the sky at night. His muscles flexed tightly under his skin as he moved out of the bathroom. He wore a pair of checkered boxers that fell right onto his hip bones letting his well pronounced v disappear below. He was completely unaware of the eyes that were drinking in his every inch. When he did look up he stopped feeling especially vulnerable. “I usually sleep like this, if that’s a problem I can always...”

“Nah, it’s cool. I was saying...I was saying your taste in movies is utter shit.” Mickey quipped back, quickly breaking out of his fantasies.

Ian hopped onto the bed as he lay down, “We don’t have to watch a movie. We could always...I don’t know talk.”

Mickey packed the movies back into the bag and then climbed onto the bed crawling toward where Ian lay. “I must say I like the vision of you crawling towards me.” Ian smirked quirkiness his red eyebrow up.

Mickey flipped him the bird while getting situated beside him on the bed. The room was dark but for the two bedside lamps that subtly gave the room a cozy glow. “Come closer.” Ian whispered making Mickey smiled as he scooted closer until their shoulders were pressed together.

Mickey breathed in deeply and out. He had never simply laid beside a guy he liked before. It was always getting straight to the point. With Connor they only lay beside each other if they were making out with the intention of having sex, sleeping or enjoying a good post coital bliss. It was never like this before and Mickey was honestly enjoying the new aspects of this.

“I can hear you thinking” Ian softly said. “What are you thinking so much about?”

“You first.”

“Us.” They were both laying on their backs looking up at the ceiling. As he spoke Ian turn over so he was facing Mickey. He looked at the man’s perfect features as his blue eyes peered up to the roof. “I don’t know what it is about you Mickey Milkovich, but you have me really hooked.” The room was filled with a soft silence, their easy breaths filling the silence. Ian lifted a finger slowly tracing Mickey’s hairline then to his temple. “What’s going on in that pretty head?” He asked a soft whisper.

“Mandy thinks I should tell you why you found me drunk.” Mickey blurted.

“What do you think?” Ian asked continuing to trace patterns of the side of Mickey said head.

“That she’s right,” Mickey breathed in deeply closing his eyes as he leaned his head into Ian’s touch, “I don’t want to scare you away, after all, it’s only been a week.”

“You don’t have to tell me, not unless you’re ready.”

“Friday night I got a message saying I miss you from my ex.” Mickey blurted, his eyes still everywhere but Ian.

“Connor?”

Mickey only nodded keeping his eyes fixed on the slow spinning of the overhead fan. “Do you miss him?”

“Not anymore. I didn’t want to tell you because I don’t want you to think you’re a rebound. Because I’ve had the rebounds already. I fucked it out of my system. It’s just...I still hurt and I can’t exactly say why.”

“How long did you date?”

“About three years”

“Well then it normal to feel that way, Mick. You don’t have to love him anymore, or miss him anymore but there’s still going to be hurt there.”

“Mandy told me yesterday the reason why Connor never messaged or called when he left. Fucker was cheating, I mean I don’t blame him, i wasn’t exactly the most loving boyfriend. Mandy ran him off. Told him if he ever came back she’ll fuck him up.”

“Is that like a Milkovich trademark or something?” Ian asked a he lifted Mickey’s hand to trace his knuckle tattoos.

“Should be.”

“He doesn’t desire you if he couldn’t see how much he had right in front him. He’s a fucking idiot and so much more if he couldn’t see it. You’re worth more than you think.”

“Thanks. I don’t mean to come off as I’m still in love with the guy. I’m just hurt, he is the first guy I let fully into my life. I hope you’re okay with that.” Mickey said as he turned to face Ian. Their faces a few centimetres apart.

“We’re all a little broken, Mick. If you’re in this...so am I. I don’t give a shit who was at your door months ago, what matters is if we’re both willing for this to happen, then what’s stopping us?”

“Nothin,” Mickey whispered softly. Then Ian was pressing forward, his lips softly caressing Mickey’s, his right hand coming to holding Mickey’s cheek. It was an innocent languid kiss that sent sparks through them both as clichéd as it sounded. Mickey gave in pressing himself wholly to Ian. His arm reaching out snaking over Ian’s bare waist, pulling him in closer. Mickey chanced his tongue out trying prod at Ian’s lips. Slowly they parted welcoming him in. This was completely out of the ordinary for them both, to simply kiss someone with no sexual intention behind it. When they pulled away, Mickey tucked his face into Ian’s neck kissing his throat softly.

“You keep fucking me up man.” Mickey laughed softly


	10. A Happy Ending Kind of Massage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the New Jersey trip. Mickey and Ian have quality intimate time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was expecting to be able to update this earlier in the week but my first week back to university has been somewhat challenging. Still readjusting, but I do thank you for your patience. I hope this chapter is enjoyable and you all like it. I look forward to hearing from you. 
> 
> Enjoy.

  
He was golden under the rising sun. Rays streamed gently through the curtain, kissing every freckle that was scattered on his skin. His fiery red hair looking soft with curls. Pointed graphite slid gently across white fibres mirroring the image of the sleeping man. He was laying on his back with sheets tangled around his waist, resembling something close to a Greek God.  
A pale leg sticking out, his bare chest steadily rising and falling. Mickey sat in the corner of the hotel room with his legs hitched up on the cushions of the corner chair. A pencil stuck behind his ear ruffling his already messy bed hair. His eyebrows were pulled together in concentration as he admired the man all while printing him to paper. A soft groan caused him to look up to see forest green orbs staring into his, a gentle smile on the redheads face.

“Good morning.” He croaked out. Mickey continued drawing as the redhead stared at him. “You’re really cute when you concentrate, I ever tell you that?”

“I don’t think you have.” Mickey said his eyes staring down at his art.

“Come here…please.” Ian whispered. Mickey looked up at him and something in the room shifted. He felt like he was being pulled toward the redhead. He got up setting his journal aside and climbed onto the bed. He sat next to Ian staring down at him waiting for the redhead to make a move. Little did he know that the redhead was just as captivated by his view. Ian couldn’t help but stare at Mickey’s soft lips that seemed swollen with the way he had been gnawing on them for the last hour. “Can I kiss you?” Ian found himself asking as he sat up, cradling Mickey’s face in his hand. Mickey could only nod, too caught up in the moment.

The moment Ian’s lips were on his, he knew. It was his definitive moment just like their first kiss had been. This wasn’t anything like he had ever had with another man. Mickey had never felt a kiss deep down in his bones. He never felt it in the tips of his fingers. His heart never did whatever the fuck it was doing right now. The kiss was slow, innocent like just an innocent longing to be touching the other person. Sure, both men were aware of how much they wanted to rail the other man but none of them had made the move knowing all too well that they weren’t ready.

“What time’s those massages?” Mickey asked as they pulled away for a breath.

Ian glanced over the clock on the nightstand, **_9:00_** , “In an hour. We should get ready and get breakfast.” Mickey reluctantly pulled away from Ian’s arms that he hadn’t noticed were wrapped around his shoulders, but not without pecking his colleague’s lips.

* * *

  
The hotel’s spa was bourgeoisie as fuck. The walls and floor were panelled with wooden slats, while an angular metal chandelier hung in the waiting room. They were given robes and left to undress and get situated while one of the girls went to get the masseuse. Ian blushed deeply as he turned his back to Mickey to strip of his clothing. Mickey mirroring his movements removed his clothes and then climbed beneath the white sheets. Ian was still undressing when he lay down. The redheaded man was leaning forward slightly to pull his jeans off his ankle. The bed cutting off Mickey’s sight just at Ian’s hips. Mickey couldn’t help but be mesmerised by the way his toned muscles flexed under his milky pale skin. If anyone had told Mickey at this point that a guy’s back could be sexy, he’d have told them to get their head checked. But my oh my, Ian had one sexy back. Ian then wrapped the sheet around his hips and turned then noticing Mickey staring agape. The receding red on his neck crept back up his neck and cheeks, his lips pulling into a tight smile. He lay down onto the bed beside Mickey and turned his head towards him. Their beds weren’t entirely far but they weren’t very close either.

“You know, this is some top level intimacy here.” Mickey smiled teasingly.

“Mm, maybe I can get you to cuddle later then, you’ll be a whole puddle of intimate goo, by the time we get back to the city.” Mickey laughed through his blush.

“Fuckin cuddler, huh? You’re really building that shit up. It better be as good as you say.”

The two masseuses came in just after and got started. All those nights spent hunched over his paintings, Mickey was tense so as the masseuse began working his palms into his back he felt more at ease and relaxed. He was slipping almost asleep when he heard it. It wasn’t entirely raunchy like the way Rachel in Friends did it, but as the other masseuse began kneading at Ian’s muscles, small grunts elicited his mouth. Mickey had been to get a massage already with his sister and he knew it was more than normal for one to make noise while getting rubbed. And it never usually bothered him. Until the noises started making a heat grow in the pit of his stomach and he could feel himself grow hard from the sounds.

Mickey didn’t want to be viewed as a pervert, so he tried his best to focus his mind on the ache of his muscles instead of the soft groans coming from the man next to him. He chances raising head as the lady began massaging his calves to see if any of the women were perturbed by the sounds. Both women seemed unbothered to say the least. Now, the sounds weren’t excessive. They weren’t even very loud. But it was every time she pressed harder or started working on a part of his body that was wound up and was more than enough to wound Mickey up. Mickey turned his head again to Ian’s direction. Ian’s face was out of the head cushion and facing him. His eyes shut and lips pouted as his cheeks pressed against the bed. _Fuck._

He looked away and placed his head back in his cushion. He thought of the most hideous things he could to get his boner to go down because soon he’d be lying on his back and there was nothing more embarrassing that tenting the sheet. Mickey was rocking a semi by the time they had to turn over and he kept his eyes shut to avoid the mortifications. He knew Ian had glanced over and saw it when he heard the other man stifle a chuckle. Mickey had never been more mortified.

By the time they were done, Mickey didn’t want to even open his eyes. He could feel his face hot with a blush that spread down his neck to his chest. He could hair Ian Moving about and he knew he’d have to get up. When he did, he held the sheet to his torso and sat up looking over to Ian who had already slipped boxers on. He was wearing a wicked teasing grin as he watched Mickey with cocked eyebrows.

Mickey glanced down to his almost dead boner and sighed loudly before looking back to Ian, “Shut the fuck up.”

Ian only laughed as he grabbed his jeans, “I didn’t say anything.” Mickey pulled his underwear up with his back to Ian. “But I forgot to mention, this wasn’t a happy ending kind of massage.” He teased Mickey which earned him the middle finger.

“This is your fault.”Mickey accuses although a smile danced on his lips.

“My fault?” Ian laughed again, “Tell me, how is this my fault?”

“With your fucking moans.” Mickey grumbled looking away as he button his jeans. When he did look up Ian was flushed red and biting at his lip _. Fuck how am i to even continue pretending I’m mad? Look at that face._ “Fuck.” Mickey muttered as he turned away pulling on his T-shirt.

* * *

  
The hotel’s restaurant was simple and classy, the only shitty part, was the snooty waiters. They eyed Mickey from the crown of his head and the tips of his toes taking in his rough bravado and his crude tattoos. And well he wasn’t exactly dressed in his best either, him and Ian wore simple casual clothes. Ian quickly noticed and stood taller and puffed his chest out involuntarily ready for the waiter to say shit to Mickey.

“I’m sorry, only reservations tonight, we’re quite packed.” The tanned guy said sticking his nose high in the air.

Ian smiled smugly as he stepped forward, “Gallagher, table for two.”

The guy reluctantly looked at his list and then cowered away, “I’m sorry, right this way.”

They were seated at a small table at the end of the room by the large glass walls that looked out onto the town. Yellow dotted lights scatted across the land, while the glow of cars and traffic below shone a mixture of yellow and red. “So, what do you want drink?” Ian asked as he looked over the drinks menu. Mickey glanced at it with all its fancy words, “Beer?”

“Come on Mick. They have like really fancy wines and really fancy whiskeys.” Said Ian, looking up at Mickey.

“Fine, a really fancy beer.” Mickey deadpanned. Ian couldn’t help but grin at him.

“Fine, beer. But please tell me you’re going to order something nice to eat. I brought you out for a classy dinner. No finger foods.”

“You know you didn’t have to do this right? I’m perfectly contented with room service and a movie.”

“Yeah well some grump told me last night I have shit taste in movies so…”

Mickey smiled while he rolled his eyes, “Well that grump was rather rude.”. The waiter then came to take their orders and Mickey grinned at Ian before he order their _fanciest_ burger and fries. Ian glared at him while he ordered his own lobster and when the waiter left he turned to him, “You’re really set in your ways, Milkovich.”

They stayed silent for a bit as they both let their eyes scan over the lights of the town life. “So I would ask how that massage earlier was but seems like you had a _good time_.” Ian teased.

Mickey’s faces reddened as he met Ian’s eyes, “I already told you. It’s your fault.”

“I didn’t quite catch the reason why it was my fault though. You seemed to have mumbled it.” They both knew Ian heard. Mickey extended his right leg under the table cloth as slowly ran in up the length of Ian’s. Ian loudly knocked his glass at the sudden contact and then looked up at Mickey with an impressed face.

Mickey brilliantly cocked his eyebrows, “I said,” he spoke slowly as his feet ran up and down Ian’s leg slowly, “It was you and your fucking moans. You’re a loud motherfucker.”

“And somehow I feel like you’re louder.” Mickey couldn’t help the involuntary gasp that escaped his lips. The waiter came to his rescue then laying their both meals before them.

“So, Mickey. Tell me something I don’t know about you.” Ian smiled as he spooned potato into his mouth.

“Uh…I’ve lived in my apartment for like four, almost five years. Mandy and I used to actually share it until she met Josh. I met Isabelle at the coffee house opposite my building, that’s where I got my big break. That’s also the coffee house Mandy used to work at…as well as….nevermind.” Mickey’s voice trailed off as the thoughts of what Mandy had told him just days before came flooding into his head.

“All that’s great Mick, but that’s about your apartment building not you. What other stuff do you read?”

“I like Greek myth as I told you before, crime and thrillers are my favourites too mainly because it gives me so much ideas. Like it’s easier for me to imagine it and draw it. I…I was reading your first book when I now came to work at the company. And I did a whole bunch of work for it and then some guy from back then saw it and he yelled at me telling me to stop doing sketches for books that already have a cover. He crumpled them up and threw them away.”

“What the fuck? That’s so fucking rude. What’s this guy’s name?”

“Charlie? I think. I don’t know, I can’t remember seeing him much after that.”

Ian huffed in annoyance when he heard the name, “I know Charlie. He used to write for the company and then his last book didn’t do so great, so he started going around the company trying to get in on any project just so he could put his name on it. When that didn’t work, he submitted _‘his new book’_ to another company. Thank god my friend who’s exhibit we’re here to see, got it on his desk to read. Guy copied my first book, just changed around the names and the first chapter thinking no one will notice.”

“What a dick! That’s so fucked up.”

“Yeah last I heard he moved back to Nashville to live with his mom. I’m all for people excelling but do it on your own merit.”

“What about you? Any interests? Like how I have my Greek myth.”

”My little brother Liam, really likes Greek myth too. He’s tried to get me into it but I haven’t really had the time. And most of what he reads are the modern versions. But I do really like music. Music is….a very crucial part of my writing process.”

“Yeah, what kind do you play to write?”

“Mozart. It gets my gears turning, I’m able to think so much clearly than without it.” They continued like that sharing their little quirks and likes with each other, completely unaware of how hard the other man was falling. It was rare for Mickey to find someone who was just as passionate as he was. Someone who completely lost themselves when they talked about their work or their art. What Ian did with words was art in Mickey’s eyes. He remembered then the first time he had read Ian’s book. He hadn’t known who he was or what he had looked like but he known that that writer would be just as passionate as he would be.

Ian stopped mid-sentence as he saw the way Mickey looked at him, with concentrated eyes and a lopsided grin on his lips, “What?”

“Nothing…just…I like it when you get that passionate.” Mickey said looking down at his plate. Ian smiled tilting his head to the side, “That’s how I felt the first time you came by to my apartment, and you were showing me your journals.”

Mickey mirrored Ian’s blush, “Anyway, you were saying that you always wanted to write a rom-com?”  
“Yeah, not exactly a rom-com but something romantic. I started it three years ago with the intentions of telling my parents’ Wild and crazy love story but there wasn’t any real passion behind the writing so I stopped. But I started back and I think I’m getting places.”

“Well, I don’t usually read romance but I’ll read yours.”

“Thanks, Mick”

* * *

  
As the keycard swiped and the door flung open, lips were pressed against Mickey’s as his body was caged against the back of the door. Passionate people were beautiful to look at and talk to and they carried good conversation, but more so, passionate people were really fucking sexy to Mickey. That simple dinner riled Mickey up as he and Ian talked openly. Now this was a fucking first for Mickey. He’d never been this turned on from just a conversation unless it was filled with dirty talk and filthy promises. But here he was, having listened to Ian talk about the reasons he wanted to do an art exhibit instead of a cocktail party and he was rocking a hard on. Ian’s lips sucked lightly at his bottom lip as both their hands gripped each other close. Mickey parted his legs, Ian slipped one of his between causing Mickey to gain some small friction to the bulge in his pants. His head was twirling with the high of having Ian’s lips on him. His smell intoxicating him.

Ian cradled the back of Mickey’s head in his palm as he licked hungrily into Mickey’s mouth. They both grind against each other as Ian slipped his other hand down to skirt down Mickey’s side. He pulled Mickey’s shirt out his jeans and trailed his cold fingers up Mickey’s skin leaving goosebumps in his wake. Mickey pulled off for a breath and then started licking at Ian’s jaw sucking lightly until he got to his neck. His nipped the soft freckled skin then lavished it with his tongue causing the taller man to moan loudly. Ian’s large palm came down cautiously grabbing at Mickey’s bulge and then reluctantly and regrettably Mickey was being ripped out of the situation with a pain in his chest. Ian stilled at the tension he felt and he looked up at Mickey’s face. “Shit, sorry.” Ian said removing his hand and stepping back like he hand hurt Mickey.

“No…it’s just…I…” he really had no words. He wanted to, he really did. But the last time he got in deep with someone he had feelings for, shit got messy and he wasn’t ready to kiss away what was happening between them.

“Sorry.” Ian said rushing back to Mickey and grabbing his face in his hands. He pecked Mickey’s wet swollen lips as he apologized.

“I’m not a egg man, my feelings aren’t hurt. I just. I’m not ready. Like I want to but I’m not ready.”

“It’s okay. I understand.” Ian smiled softly an genuinely as he kissed Mickey’s cheek and wrapped his arm around his waist. “Can we do this though?” Ian asked as he lowered his lips to Mickey’s again. Gentle and soft against him Ian kissed Mickey, sucking lightly on his lip.

Mickey smiled into the kiss as he nodded, “Yeah. I really like that”

They made out while lying on the bed for some time until Ian reluctantly pulled away to take a piss. They changed out of their clothing and into sleeping ones and then situated themselves back onto the bed. Ian lay down watching as Mickey pulled some socks on. He stretched his hands out, “Come here.”

“Oh, is this the well awaited cuddling I heard about?”

“Just shut the fuck up and come here.” Mickey smiled as he climbed under the sheets and snuggled closer to Ian. Ian wrapped his arm around Mickey’s waist as he pulled the shorted man closer to him. Mickey tucked his face into the crook of Ian’s neck as the warm long armed tightened around him. He breathed in deeply letting Ian’s scent fumigate his lungs. Maybe it was because of how safe he felt at the moment or because Ian couldn’t see his face that he decided to say it, “I don’t know what it is about you, but you make me feel really safe saying this. But…I really like you and I’ve never been like _this_ with anyone before.”

“Like _this_? Like what?” Ian asked quietly.

“Like…intimate without sex. I don’t know I probably sound stupid.”

“No…you don’t. I’ve never either.” They lay like that with only their soft breaths and the small pecks they laid on each other being the only sounds in the room. Ian then said softly breaking the silence, “Mick?”

“Yeah?”

“I really like it. _This_.”

Ian probably thought Mickey had fallen asleep with the way his body relaxed but Mickey softly whispered against his neck a few short moments after.

“Me too.”


	11. Pygmalion and Galatea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final part of the Jersey trip,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Mythology thrown in here, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I know it's all been quite fluffy these past few chapters but this all sets the plot in motion. Keep an eye out for a special one shot I'll be posting tomorrow in celebration of my birthday.

They were dressed in their best. Ian wore a dark emerald green velvet suit jacket and a white button down with a pair of black slacks. He’d shaven and splashed his face with the best after shave he owned. Mickey wore the suit Mandy had insisted he bought that Sunday, it was black and tailored slimming at his waist, with a teal coloured button down shirt. Never in a million years would Mickey have bought the coloured shirt on his own, but Josh and Mandy had badgered him that all his clothes were either black, grey or white. The two men looked more than spectacular as they made their way to the venue. Ian relaxed into the driver’s seat while he drove sneaking glances at Mickey. The black haired man had no idea just how good he was looking. Ian smiled as he remembered walking toward the elevator back at the hotel when he’d gotten a glance at Mickey’s ass in those dress pants. He could have very much fainted at the sight.

Quickly arriving they noticed just how schmoozey and yuppie the whole thing was, women wore their finest and men stood poised in their suits and Rolex watches looking down their noses at anyone who showed in the slightest that they were of any class lower than upper. “In advance, I’m really fucking sorry.” Ian whispered lowly into Mickey’s ear as he placed his hand on the small of the shorter man’s back, as they walked into the hall. Floor to ceiling paintings hung high surrounding the room while smaller, ones scattered the floor on easels.

“Holy shit!” Mickey breathed. His blue eyes widened with wonder and awe as he gazed up at all the art depicting various scenes throughout Greek Mythology history. “I think I just came a little bit” He lowly muttered to Ian. The redhead smiled into Mickey’s hair.

Ian could watch Mickey like this probably for the rest of his life. He was beyond beautiful, he was exquisitely alluring. “You like?” He asked into Mickey’s ear as he grabbed two champagne flutes off a waiter’s tray. Taking the glass Mickey continued looking around as he absentmindedly nodded. Holding Mickey’s elbow Ian ushered him over to the middle aged man who had a salt and pepper beard with brushed back hair and thick black glasses.

“Ian!” He called with outstretched arms. He briefly hugged Ian before looking them both over, “You’ve always cleaned up nice for these things. How are you?”

“I’m fine, uh, Jackson this is Mickey Milkovich. Mickey, Jackson Landon.”

“Milkovich, I’ve seen your work, Isabelle emails me them all the time” He laughed shaking Mickey’s hand, “it’s a pleasure to meet you. Any friend of Ian’s is a friend of mine.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Sir. I’m a big fan, love your books. _The Trials of Poseidon_ are my absolute favourites.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you can appreciate it. I’ve been trying to get Ian to delve into this world. I think he’d do wonderful things, maybe you can convince him.” The man smiled then looked toward a group of women who were calling him out, “Looks like the wife wants me to meet some people. I must go, I am so happy you both made it. Ian...lovely seeing you. Call Hayden. He misses you.” And with that he was fluttering away to be a social butterfly.

Mickey turned to Ian smirking, “What?” Ian asked.

“Firstly, why didn’t you tell me it was Jackson Landon’s exhibit? Secondly, oh my fucking God I just met the man whose books made me start venturing into more gory styles. And lastly,” He cooked his eyebrows teasingly as he asked, “Is Hayden your ex?”

Ian smiled at how much like a child Mickey looked as he was giddy and bouncing on his heels unknowingly, “Okay, first question,” Ian said as they started walking through the exhibit looking around sipping their champagne, “I didn’t know you were a big fan, but I thought I’d surprise you either way. Secondly oh my fucking God you’re really cute when you fan boy like that, and lastly, sure, Hayden’s my ex, if that’s what you want to call the eight year old boy I used to baby sit.”

“Wait, you baby sat Jackson Landon’s son?”

Ian laughed at how cute Mickey was being in his shook state, “Yeah, I lived with him and his wife a couple years ago in Denver. He really showed me the ropes of the industry and got me the interview at Beck and Harvey.” The continue walking until they came to a large sculpture sitting in the middle of one of the rooms. The sculpture stood tall at about eleven feet, with the most beautiful woman either man had ever seen. A man was wrapped around her looking into her flawless face.

“Holy shit, that looks beautiful.” Mickey’s gasped

“Who is she?” Ian asked still looking up completely in awe.

“The woman’s name is Galatea, and the man is Pygmalion. He was a sculptor who hated women. He found every flaw in every woman he’d ever met, decided to give up on them.”

“That’s a bit cynical.” Ian sighed as he turned and looked at Mickey who still peered up at the carving.

“Yeah, tell me about it. Anyway, he threw himself so heavily into his work when he couldn’t find the right girl. He ended up sculpting the most beautiful perfect woman out of ivory, Galatea. He worked countless hours on her and she turned out to be more beautiful than any breathing person.”

Ian was captivated by Mickey as the black haired man lost himself within the art, “I highly doubt that. Maybe he didn’t get the view of some lucky men.” Because as far as Ian knew Mickey was the most beautiful breathing human.

“Yeah, apparently she was. He fell in love with her but she still remained the same, lifeless and cold. Not really satisfying his needs. Aphrodite, goddess of love noticed the unrequited love So after his next sacrifice she rewarded his devotion, and brought Galatea to life. And well they lived happily ever after.” Mickey said his head still tilted up as he gasped at the art piece. Ian however was looking at a completely different artwork however he was feeling the same things Mickey was and maybe even what Pygmalion did.

* * *

  
Ian was leaning against the makeshift bar at the exhibit. In his opinion having a bar at the event hadn’t even crossed his mind, but he rescinded the idea for one at his own exhibit because he wanted the people the enjoy the art without being overly intoxicated. Also having champagne alone, no hard stuff, would minimise drama. He adjusted himself against the bar while he sipped on his whiskey. I mean, he didn’t have to agree with having bar but that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy it. His current line of sight was probably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen before. Mickey was standing with a group of artists who had worked on Jackson’s exhibit and they were all chatting and laughing. Even though Ian couldn’t hear the sound of Mickey’s laugh from where he was standing the smile on his lips was enough to make his heart clench. Ian had never had felt that before.

When Ian had moved to New York, he thought that maybe he’d find a really good guy and settle down, or maybe he’d play the field and have fun. But much like Pygmalion he saw the flaws in men. He saw the way that all the guys he’d met in his first year of being in New York was only interested in a quick fuck. None of them could really make his heartbeat quicken, or make him feel weak in the knees. But here this guy stood about twenty feet away, with his head titled back as he laughed his belly full. And Ian found his knees feeling wobbling and quickening the rhythm in his heart. Mickey was the most beautiful human he’d ever lays eyes on, hands down. But Ian didn’t need Aphrodite to bring him to life, he was a living breathing work of art and Ian knew he needed to let Mickey know how he felt, even if it was too early. Because Ian knew soon enough, men, all kinds of men, most better than Ian himself would be lining up at Mickey’s doorstep. Soon enough.

“You seem quite smitten.” A gentle voice spoke beside him pulling him from his reverie. He pulled his eyes away from Mickey for a spare moment to see who had come to stand beside him. Jackson’s wife, Claudia gave him a knowing smile as she too turned her attention to Mickey, “I must say, he is quite captivating. And uniquely so.” She sipped her champagne.

“Yeah he’s something alright.” Ian continue his admiration of the older man. Mickey was astounding and it wasn’t solely based on his looks. Mickey was a dilettante artist, he dove into the dexterity wholeheartedly never settling for mediocre. He took pride in what he created. He seemed so comfortable in his skin, something Ian knew he worked hard to gain. On one of the few nights they had spent at the office while Mickey dabbed his brush into blue paint, having the usual deep conversations they did on afternoons, Ian asked what it was like growing up with Terry. Mickey had told him of the horrors of his childhood and then he said _comfort is a privilege to him._ Ian knew to get where he was, to be so content and proud of who he was, Mickey fought tooth and nail for it and every though he hadn’t watched the uphill battle occur he was fucking proud of Mickey.

“I must say, when you moved out of our home in Denver, and told me you were coming to New York, I told Jackson, Ian’ll be married in a year. I guess I was wrong.”

Ian laughed a little while he sipped his whiskey, “Sorry to disappoint.”

“Oh no, you’re doing what I did.” She said tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“You’re waiting. I always knew you were a romantic. I had met this guy when I started working at my firm and mother told me to snatch him up and marry him because he looked like the one of the good ones. I couldn’t because he didn’t jumpstart my heart. Jackson though….he did. I knew it from the moment I felt it in my knees.”

“You knees?”

“That wobbly feeling that you were so silently thinking about. That’s it.” Now, living the time that he did with the Landon’s Ian had grown quite close to them, they had helped him when he most needed it and Claudia especially had treated him like he was her own. In some way she was like a mother to him. With that, it came the instinct, and the insane intuition.

“How the hell do you do that?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” She winked before turning on her heels and walking away. Ian looked back to Mickey who was grinning widely at something one of the girls said to him just when Ian looked at the way his blue eyes were sparkling with the fairy lights hung from the ceiling, Mickey turned and looked straight into Ian’s green orbs, his grin growing wider as his cheeks flushed.

* * *

  
Mickey was laying down on his back on the hotel mattress, he was watching Ian’s back as the redhead slipped out of his fancy attire. When Ian was down to grey boxers he went into the bathroom and took his medication out of their containers. He came back to the bed and sat at the edge, Mickey’s eyes still on him. Ian breathed in deeply and then out. He threw the pills to the back of his throat before taking a sip of the bottled water on the nightstand. He slowly lay back down closing his eyes. The tremors didn’t last as long as before but they still came. He shakily placed both his hands on his chest breathing in deeply and then out and repeating.

Mickey gently reached over smoothing his thumb over the back of Ian’s shaking hand, “Hey, you okay?”

Ian softly smiled with his eyes still closed, “Yeah…the tremors…it’s normal.” He whispered. Surely they had subsided, he turned onto his side as he opened his eyes to watch into Mickey’s, “You were really beautiful tonight.” He whispered.

“Fuck off.” Mickey muttered obvious not accustomed to such adulations.

“No…seriously. Really fucking beautiful. The most beautiful.”

“You too.”

They stayed silent as Mickey gripped Ian’s hand that lay between them. “You know that story you were telling me about Pygmalion and Galatea?” Ian asked as he brought his other hand to hold Mickey’s cheek.

“Mhm?” Mickey answered as he was slowly drifting to sleep.

“The way he felt about her….I think I’m starting to feel that way about you.”

Mickey didn’t say anything for some time but Ian felt the way he slightly tensed. Then his body relaxed and he scooted closer until their noses brushed each other’s. He puckered his lips until they met Ian’s. He pecked his before whispering against his lips, “Goodnight.” The kiss that followed was all the answer Ian needed


	12. Kathy Goes To The Zoo.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are back from the New Jersey trip and chaos awaits on their doorsteps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love random chapter titles. Lol. Hope you guys had a great January and hope February is even better. Also strap in...it's bumpy from here on.

The three days in New Jersey was probably the best of Mickey’s life. Mainly because of the redhead who had dined him and treated him like no man had ever before, also a plus side to it was that Jackson let Mickey take a pick of his favourite painting to take back home to the city. Mickey was beyond fanboying at that point. When they got back to the city Ian drove Mickey directly home and then went back to his own place. Both men never failed to steal kisses or lingering touches whenever they had the chance. Both were expected to be back at work that afternoon, after all they did have an exhibit to put on and Mickey had to crack down on his work with the amount of days he had missed. When he got home he showered and got dressed to head in to the office. On his way out his apartment he glanced at the painting Jackson gave him that was still leaning beside his door. Beside the sculpture the artist had done of Pygmalion and Galatea he had done a painting depicting the same scene. Mickey somehow felt like he was a lot like Pygmalion, throwing himself into his work and falling in love with it, only the work he was falling in love with wasn’t a lifeless canvas, it breathed, walked, talked and had red hair. Mickey had no clue that Ian was feeling a lot like Pygmalion himself. He shook the thoughts from his head as he made his way to the office.

* * *

 

  
“You’re glowing.” Alex smiles as he sat down in Ian’s office couch.

“You.” Ian called as he got up from behind his table, “You’re a real son of a bitch, you know that? One bed? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ian asked as he walked to his best friend hitting him upside the head. Ian wasn’t mad at all about the one bed. After all, it did work out in his favour, but he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to give Alex shit.

Alex only docked while he laughed, “Come on bitch! Tell me you’re not thankful…huh? Right I didn’t think so… so how was it?”

Ian began blushing as he sat down beside his friend, “It was good, really good.”

“So really good sex then?” Alex asked collecting himself another slap.

“Not that it’s any of your business but I wouldn’t know. We’re taking shit slow. What about you, Rico Suave?”

“Shut the fuck up, you know I hate when you call me that.”

“Stop being a bitch and tell me what I missed out on.”

“Uh…they cancelled the order on the paper for your rebranding book set. I finished editing the last book you were supposed to hand in and I fed your cat…by the way she’s really upset you didn’t come get her yet.”

“Okay first of all, that’s your cat she just doesn’t like you, I’m not taking her off your hands. Secondly, Thank you for all that but I meant with you and Violet.”

“Oh things are good, she really wants to meet you.”

“Ah Yeah, we could do dinner some time. Maybe a double date.” Ian smiled.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Alex asked looking at Ian like he had three heads.

“What’s the matter? You don’t like Mickey or something?”

“It’s not that I don’t like him…I barely know him it’s just…he kinda scares me. He doesn’t scare you?”

Ian let out a loud laugh from deep in his belly, “You’re such a fucking pussy. He’s not scary at all.” Ian found it hard to believe that Mickey, the one who lay in bed with him talking about what kind of pencils he likes to draw with or the one who had softly kissed the column of his throat at night while he drifted off the sleep was scary. Mickey was adorable to him.

“Love is blind.” Alex deadpanned. Ian rolled his eyes as he got up to go to his desk. He opened his laptop and got back to the work he had been doing before. Then he noticed Alex hadn’t stopped staring at him as he got up. When he looked up to meet his assistant’s face, Alex’s jaw was dropped low.

“Close your mouth Alex, you’re catching flies.”

“Ian?”

“Alexander?”

“Look at me Ian Gallagher.” Ian reluctantly looked into his friend’s eyes, “why didn’t you deny what I just said?”

“Deny what?”

“My statement; Love is blind….”

“Because that’s the saying Alex…it’s not a new statement.”

“Ian don’t play dumb with me. I wasn’t even meaning it when I said it….that word _love.”_

“Shut up.”

“No, Ian you can’t be seriously thinking you’re feeling that…you’ve known him for a week and a half”

“I never said that’s how I feel but…” he looked down toying with his fingers before sighing deeply, “I don’t know how to describe it to you okay? Just one, don’t judge me. And two…I need you on my side for this.”

“You got me. I promise. Just don’t fuck up your life by diving heart first into anything.”

* * *

  
Mickey had just gone into the office that day to collect his canvases that he hadn’t finished and to gather his materials. As he had so much work to do for the following week he knew he should do it where he was most comfortable. Ian had offered to give him a ride home but he insisted the man stayed to get his own work done. It was just after three in the afternoon as Mickey stood up stretching. He twisted his back cracking it and then stretched his hands out wide. As much as he loved painting it really did do bad for his back. He made his way to the kitchen to make something to eat and then he sat at the bench consuming the toast. He looked around his small studio apartment, _I really should get some cleaning done_. He snorted at the thought and then continued eating. He had really enjoyed staying in a fancy hotel and eating fancy food but Mickey was a simple guy. He had ensconced himself in this apartment making it home, a safe home. Something he never had growing up. His phone then began ringing, _Mandy_.

“Hey bitch.”

 _“Hey, you back?_ ”

“Yeah got back this morning. Trying to get some work done. What’s up?”

“ _Nothing, just thought I’d call see how it went….so, did you tell him?”_

Mickey rolled his eyes, “I did, Mom.”

_“Fuck off you know I’m just concerned. How’d he take it?”_

“Exactly how you said he would.”

“ _Okay, that’s good. Shit! I have to get to something, I gotta go, sorry I know I called and now I’m running away I might stop by later.”_

“Don’t worry I’ve got shit to –” Mandy hung up before he could respond.

Just then there was a knock on the door. He put his plate in the sink and then went to answer it. Leaning on his door frame was one tall beautiful redhead who wore a million dollar smile.

“Hey.” Ian said before Mickey could grab him by the collar and crash their lips together. It was becoming easier easier to get lost in these kisses.

“Hey.” Mickey breathed as he pulled back to gasp for air. He stepped back running his mad through his hair and breathing heavily, “Fuck you doing here?”

“I thought I’d come by. It isn’t really fair that you’re basically doing all the work and was sitting at my desk editing a book called “Kathy goes to the Zoo.” Mickey laughed loudly as he went into his kitchen. He got a beer for himself and then handed Ian bottle of juice.

“Someone went shopping.” Ian laughed as he saw the other groceries still on the counter.

“Yeah…I got orange juice, ice tea and uh Gatorade because I didn’t know what you’d usually like to drink instead of beer.” Mickey said casually as he went to sit on the couch. Ian followed with this looking in his eyes that honestly made Mickey’s shift uncomfortably because he had seen Ian with that look during their dinner at the hotel.

Ian climbed onto the couch beside Mickey, laying a wet kiss of the artist’s cheek, “You know you didn’t have to do that. I don’t mind drinking water.” Mickey blushed as he continued looking away. Ian figures he didn’t want to talk more about it. “So, how are the pieces coming along?” Ian asked leaning back into the couch.

“Good. Didn’t think three days would set me back that much but I think I can get it all done.”

“If you want I can stay…keep your company while your stay up and work.” Ian casually threw his suggestions out there while he pulled a loose thread that was dangling from the edge of Mickey’s shorts. Mickey snorted at the redhead’s cuteness as he smacked his hand away. Ian looked up with wide eyes.

“You pull the thread and my pants may rip off.” Mickey said. Ian just laughed as he sat up climbing onto Mickey’s lap.

“I gotta admit, that would be a sight.” Ian kissed at his jaw then his neck and then his lips.

“Okay…you can stay but not if you’re gonna continue doing that, I really need to get shit done.”

“You sayin' I’m distracting?” Ian teased.

“Yes…that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Ian climbed off as he headed into the kitchen, “How about I make us dinner then?” Ian smiled widely.

“Make yourself at home,” Mickey said with a wave of his hand while he got up and went back to his easel.

* * *

  
Ian felt like real fucking domestic boyfriend while he stirred fried vegetables in Mickey’s kitchen, while he kissed Mickey before he sat by the counter to eat and while Mickey insisted on washing the dishes. He knew he wasn't a boyfriend but he definitely hoped he be one day. They had just finished eating when Ian plopped down on the couch while he talked to Mickey who was the sink. “Yeah, so basically what Alex said is that the cancelled the order of the paper because it’s not gonna work on the new printers or some shit. He wants me to look into another time but I had my mind pretty set of that kind of look and feel of the book you know? I didn’t want the standard sleeves for the hardcovers I wanted it to be different. But they’re saying they can’t do it so I guess I’ll have to come up with something else.”

“So when will it be good to be on shelves then?”

“They’re looking at Summer now.” Ian rubbed his hand down his face, “I don’t know. Maybe I should just reconsider the whole thing. Hey…I forgot to tell you, Alex wants time to officially meet Violet so I suggested a double date because I don’t want to be the third wheel.”

Ian could hear Mickey scoff, “Yeah? And you are you thinking of asking?” Just then there was a knock at the door, “can you get the door please?”

Ian got up while laughing and made his way to the door, “I’m thinking of asking this asshole who’s doing the painting for my exhibit. He’s a real piece, I doubt he’ll say yes though ‘cause as I said, he’s asshole.” Mickey flipped him off then went back to the dishes. Ian chuckled as he grabbed the door knob and turned it, opening the door.

A dark haired guy, tall, lean and quite beautiful if Ian had to admit stood there. He had a square jaw and mole on his chin, while his dark curls sat on his head with on dropping onto his forehead, “Hi, Goodnight” Ian said when the guy didn’t say anything. “How can I help you?”

“Who the fuck are you?” The guy rudely remarked while hiking his duffel bag higher on his shoulder.

“I think I should be asking that as you knocked on the door.”

“I’m looking for Mickey…I’m Connor.”

“Hey Ian, Who is it at the door? Is it Mandy? Tell her to fuck off, I’ve got things to do.” Mickey called as he made his way to where Ian stood dumbfounded. Mickey stopped abruptly beside Ian, looking at his gaping face, he was about to hit him with a quippy remark when he turned to see who Ian was looking at.

“Hey Mickey.” Both Ian And Mickey stood agape in the doorway of his apartment.

 


	13. I Need Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey face off with Connor. Ian thinks Mickey has things he needs to sort out and Ian gets a shocking phonecall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the part of the story I've been most excited to get to yet so terrifind for people to read. I do hope I have handled the situation in the best way possible and I also I sincerely apologise for the frustration you are about to face in this and coming chapters.

“So…can I come in?” Connor asked with a tight lined smile. He looked different and Mickey noticed. It almost seems like an entirely different person standing before him, but that didn’t help to cushion the blow of what he had done to Mickey.

How did you face the person who caused you immaculate pain? The person who you let your guards down completely for and they gave you nothing but betrayal and lies in return. Mickey had conjured up in his mind countless times before what seeing Connor for the first time again would be like. He had expected rage and anger to overtake him. He had expected to see red and charge like a bull. What he hadn’t anticipated or prepared himself for, was the hurt that he would feel. The aching quickened beat of his heart as his stomach dropped and his throat closed up on him. The boy’s face was nothing but a reminder of how weak Mickey had been in protecting himself. It was a reminder of how much Mickey had opened up and just how much he had given to the other man. Regret and pain is what overtook Mickey as he stood in his apartment. And he couldn’t help but shoot a glance at Ian’s direction questioning everything that had been going on between them for the past week and half _. Is it all worth the pain after?_

There’s the feeling Mickey would get when he as back in Chicago when he was on the verge of hooking up with someone in alleyways or in Boystown. It was a resigning doubt that would fester in his mind. It was something that would have him ready to hike his jeans back up and run as far away from the situation as he could even before the guy could stick it in him. That’s what he was starting to feel. Maybe he should cut what he and Ian had short before it got any further. That way he couldn’t get hurt. He couldn’t dare think that a guy like Ian would want to stick around with him. After all, he had believed that Connor wanted all the same things that he wanted but he had turned out to be very very wrong. He looked back to the man that caused him sleepless nights and heartache and he couldn’t help but feel angry with himself for ever trusting someone like that. The nights after Connor had cut all ties with Mickey, the ex-thug would lie in bed wondering that maybe his homophobic, Neo-Nazi father was right. Maybe it was weak to feel.

And that’s the unfortunate truth about what heartache had done for Mickey. He set him back in the progress he had made over the years. He found himself willing to run back into the closet and stay there wearing a stone cold façade and not letting anyone in.

In a situation like this he didn’t know how he was supposed to react. On one hand Mickey wanted to talk it out but on the other he wanted to bash Connor’s face in. He could almost hear Mandy sounding a lot like his mother in his mind telling him _Don’t let the man you’ve become down by reverting to the man you once was._ But before he could get the chance to muster up the courage to talk, Ian was answering for him.

“No, you can’t come in. What the fuck? You really think you could just show up here and everything will be fine? That you’d be welcomed with arms open. Listen you son of a bitch.” Ian said getting really close to Connor’s face, puffing out his chest seeming to appear larger, even though he’d naturally tower over Connor, “you turn around and go back to where the fuck you came from. Don’t come back here.”

Connor scoffed looking pass Ian at Mickey, “Come on, Mickey. I just wanna talk.”

“Listen you’ve got five seconds…”Ian said grabbing the bat Mickey kept beside his door, “to go before I crack your skull in, and so help me God I don’t kill yo-”

“I wanna here what he has to say.” Mickey said cutting Ian off. The redhead spun on his heels with his mouth hanging open. “That’s it, I just wanna hear what he had to say. You can come in.” Mickey said gesturing for Ian to move aside. The redhead reluctantly did just that.

“Thanks, Mickey.” Connor said. He dropped his duffel bag at the doorway and walked in. “Haven’t done much to the place huh? Looks pretty much the same since I was last here.”

Mickey rubbed a hand down his face, _what the fuck am I doing? Closure…that’s all this is. I need closure._

“Uh…I think I’ll just go,” Ian said grabbing his bag off the counter as Connor took a seat on Mickey’s couch.

“Ian. Wait…you don’t have to go. Please” Mickey hates the sound of his begging Ian to stay, but he needed Ian to know that he didn’t want Connor back he just needed closure.

“Don’t worry, Mick.” Ian said holding the door slightly ajar, “I’m not upset. I understand, I just don’t think I can sit here and listen to that jackass talk, without knocking his teeth out. Not after what you told me he did.”

“Come on, it won’t take long, we could go back to doing what we were before he showed up.”

“Mick,” Ian took one Mickey’s hands in his own, “I think you do need to talk to him. You need to let shit out and get closure. I support that but I think it’s something you have to do on your own to heal. I’m here for you when you’re finished talking with him, and I’ll be here to help you heal if you would have me, but I can’t stay here while you do. If I do I might end up punching his face in.”

Mickey smiled at that, “Will you come back then? After?”

“Yeah. Whenever you’re ready, call me. I’ll come.” Ian smiled softly even though he still wanted to bash the guy who was sitting on Mickey’s couch checking out the piece Mickey was working on, head. “And Mick, just remember, no matter what happens hear you’re worth way more than the piece of shit he treated you like. And you deserve the world.” He bent down and pecked Mickey’s lips softly before turning away. If he looked into Mickey’s eyes he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave.

All Mickey could do was watch Ian go.

* * *

The winter air was chilling to the bone as Ian stood down the block in front the convenience store he had gone into to buy a pack of smokes. He sucked the end of the grit letting the nicotine flood his system. It had been a while since he had one and he really missed it. He breathed in the smoke letting it calm his nerves and warm him up as he looked onto the snow covered sidewalk as pedestrians shuffled by each other. New York’s winter really was a bitch, much like Chicago’s. His phone began vibrating against the inside of his coat. He held the cigarette between his lips as he yanked his glove off to answer.

“Hello?” He spoke around the filter.

“Ian?! Ian Thank God! I didn’t know if you’d be in a meeting.” Fiona’s frantic voice called.

“Fi? What’s wrong?” He could hear the tears and sniffles in her voice.

“Ian…we found him. Lip, we found Lip.” She cried, “we’re at the hospital right now. Ian….it’s bad…I…I don’t know if I can handle this.”

“Shit! Okay I’m on the next flight to Chicago. I’ll see you in a bit, Okay?” Worry over took him. He had spent countless night imagining where his older brother could be. He had paid a private investigator to look for him but no one got word. This was it. They had finally found him. He was ready and willing to drop everything to go support his family. That’s what being a Gallagher was, well at least most of the time. They dropped whatever shit was going on in their lives to help each other. Lip had been Ian’s best friend since he was born. It was always them against the world. Lip had been the one who had left college during finals to go look for Ian when he ran away. He regrettably looked down the street toward Mickey’s apartment as he hailed the first cab he saw, and jumped in directing him to to airport. Little did he know as he jumped hastily into the cab’s backseat his cellphone came toppling out his coat pocket onto the busy streets of New York.

* * *

Connor had looked different since the last time Mickey had seen him. His hair was slightly darker and he seemed to had lost some weight but not in an unhealthy way. His sense of style had certainly changed. He was once a guy who wore baggy jeans and loose T-shirts. Now he sat in Mickey’s living room wearing a baby blue button down shirt and a designer coat that was tailored to his lean body and paired with tight black skinny jeans. Mickey walked back to the couch from his door and sat opposite his ex-boyfriend.

“Well, you said you want to talk….so talk.” Mickey said firmly.

“Okay….that your new boyfriend?” Connor asked pointing to the door that Ian had disappeared through.

“I’m not answering that. What are you doing here, in New York?”

“My internship in Paris just finished and I got some vacation time so I decided to come see you. I’m really sorry Mickey….You look really good by the way.” He said his eye raking over Mickey who wore a pair of grey sweatpants and tight black tank top.

Mickey scoffed getting up and walking to the window, “You left. No calls, no text messages. And you just think you could show up? What the fuck do I look like?”

“Mickey, please. I’m sorry. I thought freedom was what I wanted and I was wrong. I missed you so much” Connor said getting up and walking over to Mickey. Mickey stepped back.

“I thought a lot about you…I messed up and I’m sorry.”

“I trusted you. I gave a lot of myself to you and it wasn’t worth shit to you.” Mickey’s voice broke at the end as he thumbed his bottom lip.

“It was. It was Mickey. I’m sorry.”

“Fuck.” Mickey whispered.

“I missed you.” Connor said cupping Mickey’s cheek in his hand, “Didn’t you miss me? I’m ready to settle down. We could have what have what we once did.” And before Mickey could notice what really was happening Connor closed his lips against Mickey’s pushing him against the window sill. His tongue stuck out begging to prod Mickey’s lips open. His lips felt familiar against Mickey’s and for a split second if was enough to get lost in until his smell closed in around Mickey. Suddenly his smell was wrong. His lips were too rough. His taste…it was Ian. Mickey jerked back with the surprise and pushed against Connor’s chest until the other man was stumbling backwards.

“WHAT THE FUCK? Get the fuck out of here, now!” Mickey growled wiping at his lips.

“Mickey, Wait. I shouldn’t have done that. I just want you to know I was wrong. I should have called. I thought you could do with a clean break but I was wrong. Please forgive me.”

“You think this is about you not calling?! This is about you cheating on me you asshole.” Connor’s face straightened in surprised, “Yeah, I know about that. Mandy told me. What was I to you?”

“I was scared to commit Mickey.”

“Scared to commit? Our whole three years together was you trying to convince me to commit. I’m the one with the commitment issues. Not you! You know what, I don’t know what I expected from this. Just get out.”

“Let’s talk about it Mickey.”

“Get the fuck out.” Mickey said grabbing the bat Ian had laid down. He lifted it pointing at Connor’s chest. “Get the fuck out before I crack your skull and ribs.”

“Mickey, I’m sorry.” Connor said backing up to the door, he reached behind him turning the knob then grabbed his bag, “I really thought we could make this work. Whenever you’re ready to try, I’ll wait.”

“GET THE FUCK OUT!” Mickey screamed.

“I’m staying at that hotel on 7th…stop by if you change your mind.”

The door slammed behind Connor’s retreating figure and Mickey collapsed onto the floor of his apartment. His chest felt tight and was heaving. His throat had an ever growing lump in it and his eyes became wet with tears. Quickly, Mickey had learnt that you could stop loving someone and you could stop missing them, but the pain of their betrayal will still always hurt. He sighed loudly as he rubbed at his face. He should call Ian. He knew he should but he needed a few minutes. A few minutes to collect himself.

A half an hour had passed and Mickey was still sitting against his front door gripping the bat tightly. He breathed in deeply and then out, he got up and grabbed his phone off the coffee table, dialing Ian’s number with a shaking hand.

_Voicemail_. He called a couple more times but it still went to voicemail.

“Come on, Ian. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.” _Voicemail_.

“Fuck!” Mickey screamed throwing his phone onto the couch as tears prickled at his eyes again. He should have never let Ian leave. Mickey thought then that he had royally fucked up any chance of him and Ian. And for what? To let Connor in only to realize that Ian was right and he deserves better?

That night Mickey sat on the floor of his studio apartment, alternating before trying to call Ian and smearing paint against his canvas. And maybe he had intended for the painting to have a certain atmosphere to it when he had planned it a few weeks ago. But through the pain in his chest and the anger he felt for himself, the art turned into something completely different. Something angry.

 


	14. Quit Calling Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian arrives in Chicago, Mickey wakes up realising the day before wasn't a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I did intend on updating this earlier in the week but after last update I have felt slightly discouraged but I think I'm back on track. I'm open to constructive criticism but not outright negativity. I hope you all enjoy this update, I apologise in advance if this isn't going the way people want but I have plans for this. Stick with me.

Ian got off his plane in the early hours of Friday morning, hailing a cab to the train station and then taking the L to hospital where he knew his family would be. His chest felt tight and his heart raced. Ian loved his brother and was scared to see what state he was in but Ian couldn’t help the fraction of his mind that kept going back to New York. It was after he had gotten on the L did he notice that he no longer had his cellphone with him, meaning it must have fallen out somewhere. As he walked the path to the hospital he wrapped his arms around himself tightly as the cold breeze rustled his hair. The hospital was busy as can be as he made it to the front seat asking for information about Lip. An old nurse directed him to the correct floor before running after a code blue down the hall. He entered the elevator rubbing a hand down his face in frustration as he hustled toward his siblings. Fiona was the first he saw closing the distance with outstretched arms and purple bags below her eyes. “I’ve been trying to call you! They just took him out of emergency and warded him, we’re waiting to go see him.”

“Shit…yeah I dropped my phone somewhere between New York and here. Where did you find him?” Ian asked as his older sister led him to the waiting chairs.

She pursed her lips as Debbie came walking toward them, “Ian, you finally made it.” His younger sister tightly wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek.

“Where’s Carl and Liam?” Ian asked.

“Carl left with Liam about an hour ago. I don’t really want the little guy seeing all this before we do, you know?” Fiona answered.

“Where’d you find him?” Ian asked again.

“You remember Helene?” Debbi asked sitting beside him.

“The college professor Lip fell in love with?” Ian asked wondering what the married woman could have to do with this.

“He broke into her house. She found him spewing vomit all over her living room floor. We still don’t know what he’s on but it didn’t just look like alcohol. She called us instead of the cops.”

“Fuck.” Ian couldn’t say that he was shocked. He knew his brother had gone on a bender when he disappeared he had just been secretly hoping that all the time Lip had spent in rehab would have swayed him from going back down this path.

“Ian…that’s not all.”

He looked his older sister dead in the eye as tears filled his eyes, “What more can there be?”

“Whatever drug he took didn’t mix well with the alcohol. On his way here he started …. Convulsing, frothing at the mouth. They say we got him here in time but he hasn’t woken up since then.” Ian felt the tears spill from his eyes as Debbie tightly wound her arms around him.

“This is my fault. I should have stayed in Chicago. If Lip didn’t leave home to come see me in New York, we wouldn’t be in this situation. He’d be home, working his 12 steps.” He could feel the tears burn his eyes before they flood down his cheeks as Fiona consoled him. But he knew better than to think his reaction was solely based on Lip. This wasn’t the first time Lip had done something like this and he usually survived. He did the last time Ian found him on the brink of a coma a couple springs before when he almost overdosed on nobody knows what the fuck.

“You can’t blame you self for this okay? Don’t do that. He’ll wake up. He’ll be fine. He’s a Gallagher. Gallagher’s don’t know how to quit at life even if it’s the grim reaper staring them down…look at Frank, he’s still as strong as ever.” Fiona said rubbing a tear from his cheek. “He’ll be okay. He has to be.”

He knew Lip would survive. He always did. It was Ian who wasn’t sure he’d survive and maybe he was being a little over dramatic when he thought that but it was how he felt in the moment.

* * *

 

When Mickey woke up, it was because the sun was streaming directly into his eyes from where he was laying on the floor. He groaned in pain as he sat up and looked around his apartment. _Did yesterday really happen?_ He looked over at the painting he had up drying on his easel sighing heavily. What was supposed to be a solemn blue painting of the killer sitting in his basement turned into a guy tormented by the blackness of his mind and nightmares, black ghostly hands creeping from the walls embracing his body. Mickey reached for his phone to see if Ian has answered any of his twenty missed calls. Still nothing. Maybe Mickey was wrong to think that Ian would stick things out. He had seemed genuine when he left Mickey’s apartment the night before but something evidently changed.

He dialed Ian trying to get through to him one more time before heading into the shower to head over to Ian’s apartment. His heart felt instant relief when the phone picked up but he fell off a 100 story building crashing when he heard the stranger’s voice. “Hello?”

“Hi? Uh…is Ian there?”

“No man…but you gotta stop calling him. He clearly don’t wanna talk to you.” Then the line closed off. He realized letting Connor in did absolutely nothing for him but now it seemed too late. Could Ian have moved on already?

He needed to hear Ian tell him it for himself so he got up, took a shower and headed over to the redhead’s apartment.

As he stepped out his apartment and shut the door his phone began ringing with an incoming call from an unknown number. “Hello, Ian?” Mickey hated that he sounded like such a bitch but he couldn’t help it when he felt the way he did.

“No, Mickey it’s me Connor. I wanted to apologize for ambushing you at your apartment and clearly I didn’t say the right things. I’m sorry. I just want to make it up to you. If you want to stop by and have a civilised conversation I’d really appreciate that.”

“Quit calling me. I’m done with you I don’t want to hear anything you have to say again okay? Done! Leave me alone.”

* * *

“You alright?” Debbie asked Ian as she handed him a cup of coffee. They were all sitting in Lip’s hospital room staring at his still body. Ian took a sip of the coffee grunting in response.

“Come on…Let’s go for a walk. Fi will stay.” Debbie said holding Ian’s wrist dragging him up from his seat.

Chicago was just as cold around this time of year. They both walked the path from the hospital with their gloved hands grasping at warm cups of caffeine. “You want to talk about what’s going on? I know it’s not just Lip on your mind.” His little sister had grown up a lot since he had seen her in the summer.

He softly smiled as he breathed in the cold air, “There is this guy…” he started noticing the way his sister’s smile stretched. “You remember Mandy? Milkovich?”

“Yeah. You went to school with her and dated her.”

“Didn’t actually date her…her brother, he…he’s been working with me on my exhibit. And well I think I’m in some deep shit. I really fucking like him but….”

“But what?”

“Before Fi called and said that Lip was back…I was at his place, his ex boyfriend who’s been living in France shows up. And Mickey…Mickey wanted to talk with him so I left and told Mickey to call me whenever he’s ready to talk but I lost my fucking phone.”

“You’re scared he’s going to think you’re ignoring him?” Debbie asked as she stepped aside for a nurse to pass her.

“No…well yes but I’m mostly scared that…that he’s not trying to call at all.”

Debbie nudged his shoulder making him turn toward her, she stood with her cellphone in her hand. “Call him.”

* * *

 

Mickey braced the cold on his way to Ian’s apartment, shoving his hands deep into his coat pockets and hugging his head into a beanie. By the time he got to Ian’s building the olive skinned lady at the desk looked him over. “Mr Milkovich, I’m sorry but Mr Gallagher isn’t in right now.”

Mickey stopped at her desk rubbing his nose in frustration, “Do you know when he’s coming back?”

“No, Sir. As far as I know he didn’t come home for the night but I will be sure to let him know the next time I see him that you stopped by.” Mickey rounded on his heels digging his phone out of his pocket and dialing the last number he could think to call while he walked back toward his apartment.

 _“Hey Mick, I totally crashed when I got home. Sorry I know I said I’d come by.”_ She answered groggily into the receiver.

“Mands?”

“ _Mickey? What’s wrong?”_ He could hear shuffling on the other side of the phone as his sister moved around.

“Fuck Mandy…Connor showed up asking to talk and I let him in and then Ian left but he told me to call him and now I’m calling and he won’t pick up. I think I fucked up.” Mickey rambled

“ _Please tell me you didn’t just say Connor showed up? I’m gonna kill him. Was Ian mad?”_

“No…he seemed fine…but now I can’t find him and I’m going out of my mind here.”

_“Okay…uh I’ll try calling and see if I can get a hold of him. I’m sure he’s fine Mickey, he maybe needs a little space. How are you holding up?”_

“Uh…I’m not. I just wanna talk to Ian.”

_“Not about Ian. I mean how do you feel about Connor and what he had to say?”_

“I don’t give a shit. Fucker tried to kiss me and then I kicked him out.”

“ _That’s my brother. Okay I’m going to try Ian’s phone now. Josh and I will come by your apartment as soon as Josh gets back from the grocery._ ”

“Yeah. Thanks, Mands.” Mickey ended the call as he stood in Central Park with a banging pain in his chest and worry in his soul. The one good thing going on in life was totally fucked all because Connor came back around.

He pulled a cigarette out his pocket and lit it still standing on the sidewalk. When his phone began buzzing in his hand he looked down to see an unknown number. “Fucking hell!” He muttered as he pocketed the phone without answering. He wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with Connor right now. If only he knew it was his redhead calling from Chicago.

* * *

“Hey, Mick…it’s Ian. I lost my phone so that’s why I haven’t answered any of your calls. Fuck…I hope you’re calling. Anyway, some serious family stuff came up and I had to get on a plane to Chicago. I don’t know when I’ll be back but I hope to see you soon. At least if you’ll have me. I hope you made the right decisions for yourself even if those decisions don’t include me…I miss you.”

Ian huffed out a heavy breath as he stuck his little sister’s phone into his pocket and made his way back into the hospital. After having five of his calls ignored, Ian had become frustrated but mostly saddened. Maybe Connor said all the right things.

He spent the rest of the afternoon leaning against the wall of his brother’s hospital ward staring into space. He hadn’t really had the mental capacity to pay mind to his brother lying in that bed because he mind kept flittering to New York and what Mickey could be doing. His heart began to speed up as his mind conjured up thoughts that Mickey could have climbed back into things with Connor. He’d mostly expected the thoughts of Connors hands all over Mickey to make him angry and seethe with jealousy but he hadn’t prepared himself for sadness that had hit him. Tears flowed down his face as he stared out the window at the winters Chicago. Two fucking weeks. Only two weeks and Ian already felt like he wouldn’t be able to survive without Mickey. He knew after those thoughts of Mickey being with Connor came into his head that he might be willing to accept any position Mickey gave him in his life as long as it meant he got to stay there. Whether it be coworker, friend or the off chance something more Ian was willing to accept it. It was too early to think about the things he was feeling but he had always been one to fall hard and fast and here he was doing it once again with a guy who may have realized he doesn’t want Ian in return.

* * *

  
There really wasn’t anything Mandy or Josh to ease Mickey’s tension or pain. Mandy has insisted that he stay home and take the nights to really process everything that was going on but the minute he was sure she and Josh drove off from his in front his building he got dressed and headed out. And that’s how he found himself seated at a bar in downtown New York on his fifth shot, and third beer. He swayed slightly as he downed the last shot and tapped the bar for another. The pink haired bartender who looked more like a death metal chicken than anything else shook her head, “No. You’re cut off for the night. Can I call you a cab?”

Mickey stumbled back off the stool mumbling curses as he slipped his coat and gloves on. When he pushed the doors of the bar open the cold winter air hit him reddening his cheeks and burning his nose. He sniffed loudly as he looked around at his surroundings. The little voice in his head told him he should take a cab but the drunken part told him he could walk to his apartment. He placed one foot in front the other swaying as he walked down the street, muttering profanities. He felt dumb that he found himself in the situation that he did. He was missing a guy that he’d only known for two weeks. When did his life become that romantic comedy chick flick kind of ordeal? He used to be so much stronger when he didn’t let men into his life. Things were so much simpler. Sure, he was unhappy as fuck but he wasn’t in pain.

Mickey couldn’t tell you how he got to that fancy ass hotel on 7th that night. In fact he couldn’t even tell you what happened in the lobby. He vaguely remembers the man at the front desk saying that Connor had be expecting him but he didn’t know how he got into the elevator or how he found the right door. But at 11:44 that night he found himself banging on his ex boyfriend’s door. Connor opened the door with furrowed brows as Mickey stumbled into his apartment. Mickey grabbed Connor by his collar slamming him into the wall and covering his lips with his own. His drunken state made all the details come to him much slower than usual but he felt Connor pulling him closer. And like the day before all the same feelings came rushing back to him. Slower but they surely did hit him hard. Connor’s taste was too minty, there wasn’t the lingering taste of peanuts from all the mini snickers bars Ian popped in his mouth when he thought no one was looking. When Mickey reached and gripped his bicep they felt oddly small under his hand. His lips weren’t smooth and soft, they were too thin and too chapped. Ian never had chapped lips because he was always applying lip balm even though Mickey teased him that it was the gayest thing he’d ever seen. And the smell. The smell was all fucking wrong. Connor reeked of designer cologne that overpowered Mickey’s nose that still burned from the snow, it wasn’t anything like the subtle deodorant Ian would spray that mixed with his fresh smelling soap. Ian’s smell was gentle and warm and Connor’s was too much. But it was enough to rip Mickey out of his haze. He suddenly realized as Connor’s hand crept lower to grab at his ass. He jerked back ripping himself away breathing heavily.

“Fuck…fuck fuck.” Mickey rubbed his hand over his cold face as Connor looked back at him.

“Shit I shouldn’t have come here.” Mickey blurted as he looked to the floor for his scarf.

“Mick! Wait!” _Mick_. That’s what Ian calls him.

“Don’t fucking calling me that. Is this what you wanted? To fuck with my head? To fuck up the best thing I had going in my life? Stay the fuck away from me!”

“Mickey wait! I still love you!” Connor said as Mickey stepped out his hotel room. Mickey turned on his heals then staring Connor deep in the eyes, “If that’s remotely true…you’ll do this for me. You’ll stay away.” He ran home that night with tears of regret slipping down his face

 


	15. Three Years Don't Mean Shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this chapter is so late. Been super busy this week with three assignments. I hope you all enjoy this also I'm sorry that the slow burn is so fucking slow but I really donto want to rush just to get to that part. Hope you enjoy. Have fun reading and I'm going to try and get the next chapter up sooner than a week.

When Ian got home from the hospital that first night, he changed into and old jeans and a T-shirt that still sat at the bottom of his drawer in his old bedroom. He headed straight to the Alibi room, the bar that was the centre of most of his father’s drunken nights. He slipped into the barstool at the far end and order a Manhattan. “How’s Lip?” Kev, the bartender and also family friend asked.

“He hasn’t woken up yet.” Ian said sipping his drink and looking around. “This fucking place hasn’t changed one bit.”

“Yeah…I guess that’s part of the charm right?” Kev smiled. “Anything you guys need, you tell me and V aright?”

“Thanks, man.” Ian answered as he swallowed down his drink, “Another? And keep em coming? And don’t say shit to Fi.” Ian said as Kev quirked an eyebrow at him before he moved to make Ian another drink.

Ian sat there and drank most of the night and he knew he shouldn’t have considering his medication but right now it was the only thing helping him put things into perspective until it wasn’t.

“I’m really fucked, Kev.” Ian mumbled as he leaned into the bar. “Like really fucked. I…I’ve known him for two weeks and I’m so fucked. I wanna… I wannanana know things about him, everything. He makes me feel alive you know? Like how when I ran away how alive I felt but it’s different there isn’t the recklessness behind it. I can still make logical decision.” Kev looked on at the redhead giving him a sorry smile.

“You know how long I was with V before we said we loved each other?”

“No…”

“23 days. Time is just…what’s the word Kate?” Kev said looking at the other bartender.

“Perception? Concept? I don’t really know the effect you’re going for Kev.”

“Perception…that’s the thing that changes from person to person right?” She laughed nodding as she filled drinks for other patrons.

“Right, Time is a perception. Who gives a shit if you’ve known him for two weeks. Look at Tommy, he and his wife were married for eighteen years before they got a divorce. Time don’t mean shit.”

“I don’t know if it’s love Kev…but it’s something. What do I do?”

“What you’re describing….sounds a whole lot like love to me…have you ever told him exactly how you feel?”

“Gimme another.” Ian slurred. “I’ve told him…mostly not how intense the feeling has grown but…gimme another.” He said again hitting the bar top.

“Nah you’re done for the night. If Fi knew I let you drink so much already she’ll kill me. Here drink this and wait like ten minutes I’ll drive you home.” Kev said handing Ian a bottle of water.

Ian probably wouldn’t admit that he cried like a baby in Kev’s truck on his way home. Or how much he sobbed sitting in Kev’s truck parked outside their house waiting for him to sober up a bit. Or that he sat on his bed with Carl’s cellphone pressed to his ears calling Mickey until three am. Eventually he fell asleep with the phone on his chest and Mickey on his mind.

* * *

It had been three days since Mickey had last seen or heard from Ian. He kicked off his blanket and got out of bed like he did every morning for the past three days. You know how the first night after a breakup feels? That’s what Mickey was feeling for the three days. And that made him feel all the more absurd. He knew he and Ian hadn’t been anything much for long. But he couldn’t help the pain he felt when he thought that maybe whatever they had was over. He brushed his teeth and then showered before digging through his basket of clothes he had just washed from the trip to Jersey and hadn’t folded. He grabbed a grey worn out T-shirt slipping it over his head and a clean pair of black boxers briefs. The T-shirt felt oddly large and fell just below his ass. He stepped in front his mirror sighing as he cocked his head to the right. It was Ian’s *NSYNC T-shirt that he had worn one night when it was too cold in their hotel room but ended up slipping out of it during the night. Somehow it ended up in Mickey’s suitcase. He sighed again before heading into the kitchen. He unplugged his phone from the charger from where it was plugged in at the kitchen counter and unlocked it for any new messages.

Mickey usually charged his phone beside his bed but since Connor had started calling he had resorted to leaving it outside his bedroom. Five new missed calls three from an unknown number and two from Alex. He quickly dialed Alex and waiting for him to pick up.

 _“Hello?_ ”

“Alex. It’s Mickey. You were trying to call.”

 _“Yes. You know how the exhibit is supposed to be in like four days? Well change of plans. They’re pushing the date to New Year’s Eve. So I guess you got more time._ ”

“What? Why?”

He could hear Alex hesitating on the other end before saying, “ _Something came up for Ian and he headed back to Chicago, he said he just needs some personal time.”_

“Is he okay?”

 _“I’m not sure…look that’s all I called to say._ ” And before Mickey could say anything Alex hung up. Fuck.

* * *

It was odd waking up in his childhood bed. The twin sized bed remained jammed against the wall of the bedroom right below the window. The sheets were even the same navy blue and white stars that he had gotten as a teenager. He sat up grabbing his pill box from the nightstand and counting them out. He swallowed them with the glass of water Fiona had just placed beside him. “You doing okay?” She asked as she leaned against the lofted bed on the other end of the room.

“Yeah…I’m fine.”

“I don’t mean to sound like I’m trying to be your mother but…are you sure? You’ve been drinking a lot since you’ve been back.”

“I’m sure. I’ve been balanced for a couple years now. Only had to tweak the dosage a couple times but I think I’m getting good at knowing when things are off. A couple drinks aren’t going to kill me.”

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah…it’s just the stress Fi. I’m good.”

“That’s good. But I meant with what’s going on back in New York. Debbie told me.” Fiona said coming to sit beside him.

“I called…more times than I probably should. I know I need to take a hint and stop now but … I need to hear him say it. That it’s over.” Ian said as he drank the rest of the glass’ contents.

“What happened? Was it messy when you left?”

“No…the opposite actually. He wanted to get closure and talk shit out with his ex. I couldn’t stay and listen so I told him to call me when he was done. He begged me to stay….I shouldn’t have left.”

“You think he called?”

“I don’t know. He’s got three years with this guy in his back pocket. We’ve known each other for two weeks. Didn’t you leave your husband of a week for your ex who you were with for about three years?”

“Yeah…I did. But look how well that turned out for me. Look around Ian…do you see Jimmy around anywhere? Three years didn’t mean shit.”

Ian scoffed, “Kev told me the same thing.”

“Kev may not be the smartest guy in the world. But he knows his shit when it comes to relationships. I mean look how long he and V have been making shit work.”

Ian sighed as he steadied his elbows on his knees, “The guy cheated on him…like more than once. Even if he doesn’t answer my calls, I just wanna know he’s okay. I hope he makes the right decision. Because he deserves so much better than that piece of shit.”

“Maybe you should tell him that.” Fiona got up picking up some dirty clothes off the floor. “Breakfast is ready, you should come eat with us.”

“Hey Fi?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. And I think I’m going to stick around until the end of the week.”

“Don’t you have your exhibit in a couple days?”

“I told Alex to push it until New Years Eve. Let me be here…Lip needs us.”

“Okay…come eat. Maybe we can go see him after lunch.”

* * *

The day passed by like any other for Mickey. He sat at home in front his easel dabbing paint violently at his canvas as his mind drifted off to the redhead. If this was him five years ago, he would have cut his losses and moved on. He’d have been going to every gay bar trying to fuck it out of his system. But he drunkenly tried that with Connor and that didn’t work out. The redhead was still on his mind. And that’s why he couldn’t quite understand what was so different about this time. Why was Ian so different? Why did the two weeks they spent together mean so much to him?

Mickey had been mulling over in his head, since the moment Connor had set foot in his apartment, if he was being smart. Should he open himself up again after being hurt and thrown aside like he was seven months before? Every Milkovich instinct in him told him that he should run. Call it. Don’t even look back. Take it not going well as a sign that he shouldn’t even try. But there was that part of Mickey, the part that spent the last few years in New York free from his past, that kept whispering in his head to give it a go. The only problem was, when was enough? When was enough of him trying to talk to Ian? You can’t force someone to want you. But that’s the thing, Mickey knew it, he knew it deep in his bones that he’s not only one who felt what they had together. Ian felt it. That’s why he wasn’t giving up so easily.

* * *

Ian wanted Mickey. He wanted everything the older man had to offer. He wanted to get to know him in way no one had before. Not even Connor. He wanted a future with him and he knew he sounded crazy. But his heart knew that Mickey was supposed to be the one. He picked up the new cellphone he had bought and dialed his assistant’s number.

“ _Hello_?” Alex answered.

“Hey…it’s Ian.”

 _“Yeah I know. What’s up_?” Ian laid back on his childhood bed looking out at the snow that was hitting his window.

“Can you do me a favour? Please.”

“ _Anything_.”

“Can you swing by Mickey’s place and uh…I don’t know let me know how he’s doing?”

 _“You mean swing by there and see if there is a photographer from France sleeping in his bed_?” Alex joked trying to lighted the mood of his boss whose voice was evidently heavy with emotion.

“Yeah…no. I just wanna know if he’s okay. Please?”

_“Ian…you okay? You don’t sound like you are.”_

“I fucking miss him, man.” Ian whispered into the phone.

_“Here’s what…I’ll explain to him and give him your new number. I know you said you didn’t want me to because you didn’t want it to seem like you’re running him down or pushing…but let me give him it. He can’t really be calling you if he doesn’t have his number.”_

“Yeah…okay.”

_“And take care of yourself. I can’t have you falling apart…not when you’ve been doing so good. So…it’s really serious how you feel?”_

“I write books for a living, I manipulate the English language to convey fictional characters and their feelings. Feelings that don’t actually exist. And I have zero words to describe how he makes me feel.”

“ _Damn…okay well Violet and I will stop by there tonight Okay? She’s been telling me she hasn’t heard or seen Mickey since that day you guys came back. So she’ll want to go.”_

“Yeah. Sorry if I’m putting you out of your way, but I really appreciate this.”

 _“Hey it’s no problem_.”

“And Alex? If he’s back with Connor…just tell him he deserves so much more, he needs to know that.”

“ _Yeah Ian…I’ll tell him. Get some rest. How’s Lip? Any update?”_

“Fi and I are heading over there now to see him.”

“ _When he wakes up give him my best. I’ll see you soon. Call me if things change_.”

“Thanks.” Ian hung up closing his eyes as his hand lay across his stomach still grasping his phone.

He got up and changed his clothes before heading downstairs to meet Fiona to leave. They bundled tightly in their winter wear and headed out to the L. It wasn’t as long as they expected before they had arrived at the hospital and were climbing up in the elevator. The nurses greeted them with gentle smiles and one even stopped them when they walked by, “I’m so happy he finally woke up, you poor kids don’t deserve to have this kind of worry.” She said cupping Ian’s cheek.

“He woke up?!” Fiona asked before she and Ian both were barreling toward his room. When they got there their older brother was sure as hell awake sitting up eating jello cups while he stared at the television.

“Hey guys.” He smiled as he saw them.

“You fucker! You had me worried sick. How long have you been waking?” Fiona said rushing over to his side.

“Since last night. I told them not call.” Lip turned his attention to Ian then and smiled, “hey.”

“Hey Lip.”

“You know, that suspicion that people in comas can hear you…they’re true.” Lip said before he turned his attention towards Ian, “What’s this about you and Mandy’s brother?”


	16. The Microwave Minute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey get in touch. Mandy is cooking something up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you guys I'd have an update soon. The boys are finally getting to each other again. There is a good bit of dialogue in this chapter because a lot happens on the phone. Hope you all enjoy 💛 also if you're looking for some light fluffy and domestic Gallavich and haven't checked my Home Is Where You Are Series I'd appreciate it if you took a look. Much love and have a nice week, hope to update by Friday but don't hold me to it.

Sitting at a red traffic light when you have somewhere you desperately need to be, the minutes feel like they’re creeping, right? Watching your phone in anticipation of a certain call seems like time has stopped and won’t move, right? Standing watching your food turning in the microwave is probably the longest a minute takes to pass. Well, Mickey had felt those things, especially since he had spent most of his life on microwave food, he knew the microwave minute better than anyone. He usually just yanked the microwave open before it could finish and eat the food even though the middle was still cold. But he found himself sitting at the edge of his mattress, with his phone pressed to his ear with the ringing tone going forever. And this wasn’t like the microwave minute, he couldn’t will the phone to be picked up on the other end, like he usually could just yanked his food out. Alex had stopped by that night with Violet in tow delivering to Mickey the news he had wanted to hear. That Ian wasn’t ignoring his messages. Now he was just waiting for Ian to pick up the fucking phone.

_Beer had been his dinner that night. Like the night before. He was sitting at his kitchen counter sipping his Old Style when there was a knock at his door. He muttered curses as he distinctly told Mandy he didn’t want company. Despite the ache in his chest, he fully threw himself into the work he had due on New Years eve. Even if this thing with Ian was through, he still had the exhibit, one of the biggest steps on his career, he couldn’t fuck it up. He made it clear to his sister that he just wanted to sit in his apartment and paint in peace and the blotched on paint covering his skin and cloths was evident that that’s all he had been doing. He made his way to the door as yanked it opened to find Ian’s assistant with his fist held up to knock again and Violet standing beside him._

_“Hey…” Alex said looking Mickey over._

_“Hey?”_

_“Uh…can we come in? We just wanted to stop by for a few minutes.”_

_“Yeah I guess.” Mickey moved aside letting them enter his apartment. “Sorry the place is a mess…I’ve been working…what’s up?”_

_“How are you? Haven’t seen you around.” Violet said resting her hand on his shoulder._

_“Been busy. Got an exhibit to put on.” Mickey said shrugging off her touch and going back to his beer, “beer?”_

_“No thanks.” Alex said awkwardly looking around. “Look, Ian asked me to stop by here. See how you’re doing.”_

_“Did he?” Mickey’s scoffed, “He couldn’t answer his phone to find that out?”_

_“He couldn’t. He said to tell you that he lost his phone a couple days ago but he had a family emergency and had to go back to Chicago. He sent me to give you this.” Alex dug into his pocket holding out a couple hundred dollar bills, “it’s for supplies and shit. The company is supposed to pay for that. He said you guys were supposed to go buy some together.”_

_“He…he isn’t ignoring my calls?” Mickey asked as he took the cash and put it on the counter._

_“No…did Ian tell you about his…brother?”_

_“No. He didn’t.”_

_“Well I think I should leave that to him. But he said that if you want to call him…you should.” Alex held out a piece of paper with the number scribbled onto it._

_“Uh. Thanks.” Mickey said looking down at the paper. “Why didn’t you give me this earlier?”_

_“Ian is a guy….he pushes a lot like sometimes to the point where people get frustrated and run the other way. It’s what he’s done in the past. He didn’t want to do that with you. He wanted to give you the space for you to make that decision on your own.”_

_Mickey laughed as he looked Alex in the eye, “And how the fuck did he expect me to make that decision and call him if I didn’t have this?” Mickey asked waving the paper around._

_“I didn’t say he was vey smart when it came to these things. Look call him, you’ll be putting him out of his misery. We have dance night so we’ll get out of your hair. Mickey…call him, he isn’t taking the distance so well.” Alex walked out the apartment leaving Violet as she asked for a minute._

_“So you and Gallagher huh?” She asked as she walked toward Mickey._

_“Yeah I guess so.”_

_“Look, it’s probably not my place. But…from what I’ve heard…it’s deep right? Well don’t let the damage Connor did destroy what you two could have. But more importantly don’t let Connor destroy the progress you’ve made.” She leaned toward him pecking his cheek, “And Stop sidelining me I miss my friend.” And with that she left._

 

“ _Hey Mick_ …” Mickey breathed out a loud sigh of relief at the sound of Ian’s voice.

“You really gotta quit fucking me up man.” Mickey laughed as he lay back onto his bed with his feet handing off the side.

“ _Missed me?_ ” Ian teased as he moved around in the other end of the phone. Mickey could He’s the sound of a door closing and then silence.

“Yeah. I did. I thought you were done”

“ _Are you fucking kidding me? I called you everyday like five times a day. You didn’t answer me.”_

“That was you? I thought that was Connor…he’s been calling too so I haven’t been answering unknown numbers.”

 _“Right…Connor. How’d that go?_ ” He heard the way Ian’s voice deflated.

Mickey went silent for a minute as he looked up at his white ceiling. “It got messy when you left. He kissed me…and I flipped my shit and kicked him out.” Mickey rolled the thought around in his head about telling Ian about the night he went to Connor’s.

 _“Fuck. I would have loved to see that.”_ Ian laughed. “ _So he backed off?_ ” His voice getting lower and more gravelly.

“You jealous, Gallagher?”

“ _Maybe_.” Ian whispered.

“You got no reason to be.” Mickey assures him although it itched him to tell Ian what he had done. How he had ended up at Connor’s hotel room. How he had kissed him.

_“Yeah? We back to that one and only thing, Mick?”_

“Yeah…I told you liked the sound of that. So …. What’s going on? What’s got you back in Chicago?”

“ _You remember my older brother Lip…right? I think you were in the same class in freshman year?”_

“Yeah I remember him. Real genius but an absolute asshole.”

“ _That’d be the one.”_ Ian laughed. “ _Well he’s been missing for some months now. Went on a bender after he got out of rehab. Well we finally found him and he’s in the hospital. Haven’t been doing very well. But at least he’s awake now.”_

“Shit. Are you okay?”

 _“I’m fine. Uh trying to wrap my head around it all. You know he looks so different. Makes me wonder_ …” Ian’s voice trailed away with a heavy sadness.

“Wonder what?” Mickey asks just as softly.

_“Too heavy…”_

“When has that ever stopped you before?”

Ian stayed silent seeming to think it over in his own head.

_“It makes me wonder if this is what I put my family through all those years ago when I ran away. When they found me at that crack house.” Ian whispered into the phone. If Mickey didn’t have the phone pressed so hard to his ear he might have missed most of it. This was the first time Ian had really talked about running away._

_“He so small. Like he hadn’t been eating at all. Fuck.”_ He could hear Ian wiping his face and sniffling. “ _He was in a coma. Woke up today_.”

“What do the doctors say?”

“ _Something about a bad concoction of drugs and booze. They’re just surprised that he woke up without any real damage…everything has just been going to shit. To top it all off the company called and said that they’re only releasing one cover for the new book that we would release other versions in Spring. I don’t know as I said I feel like everything is just going to shit. I’m glad you’re still around though. I was getting kind of worried you wouldn’t be.”_

“Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t be anywhere else. Look do you want me to take a flight out to Chicago?”

_“No it’s okay. I’ll be home Christmas night. It’s the only flight I could get to be back in time for the exhibit. Thank you though.”_

“So that’s what? Six days?”

_“Are you getting impatient Milkovich?”_

“The fuck’s wrong if I am getting impatient. I haven’t seen your lanky ass in three days.”

 _“You missing my kisses?_ ” Ian laughed.

“Fuck off.”

“ _Look I gotta go Fiona is calling me down to discuss Lips hospital bills. I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?”_

“Yeah go do your shit I have a piece I wanna finish.”

_“Sorry I left you to do it all on your own”_

“Would’ve been doing it on my own even if you were here. You think I’ll let you and your kindergarten paintings anywhere near my shit?”

 _“Fuck off. I’m very good with a brush._ ”

“Are you? You never showed me.”

“ _Maybe I will when I get back.”_

“Okay I’m holding you to that. Go before your sister chops your nuts off.”

_“Okay. Bye Mick. And by the way...I’m really glad you didn’t choose Connor.”_

“Bye, Ian.” Mickey managed despite the guilt eating him away.

* * *

  
If it was one thing Mandy loved about her fiancé, was his ability to accept and even love her most gritty ways. He had grown up his entire life on thrust funds and having everything handed to him while he rolled around in a new car every month on the Northside. She had thought the first time she met him that he was just like all the rest of rich snooty guys. She quickly learned that he wasn’t. He was down to earth and always willing to get his hands dirty. The first time they hooked up Mandy had thrown in his face the next morning that all he was giving her was a pity fuck. Turns out she meant more than that. He fell in love with Mandy by the way she lived her life. How she unapologetically embraced herself and didn’t give a fuck who was judging her. It broke his heart when he had first learned off all the different ways her father had abused her and Mickey but he never treated her like she was broken. In fact he usually boasted of how much stronger than him she was. Another thing about him that Mandy loved, was how openly he accepted her brother. Mickey had grown up in a house of men who ridiculed him for being too soft and so he always had to overcompensate. All their brothers except Iggy had cut all ties to Mickey after finding out he was gay. Josh welcomed Mickey into his life with arms wide open. They picked on each other like most brothers would but when it came down to it they looked out for each other no matter what. So that’s how that night both Mandy and Josh were hunched over Josh’s little brother Kendall, reading over his shoulder as he tapped away on his computer.

“And how good is this program?” Josh asked his sixteen year old brother who had gotten too into hacking.

“It’s pretty good shit. I borrowed it off a friend. Okay…here we go. Connor Haven, 25 years of age, born September 13th, 1983. He took piano classes at the age of ten and started photography at the age of seventeen.”

“You really could tell all that shit?”

“Yeah man. This is some FBI quality coding. Anyways he maybe currently unemployed, but has applied for a renewal of his contract in France. Hmm.”

“Hmm What?” Mandy asked.

“Says here from his emails that he recently got offered a job at Vogue. Holy shit. Uh he’s currently staying at the Beekman hotel on 7th, room 204. He has Holy fuck… he has 500k sitting in the bank.”

“What the fuck? You can tell how much money is in his bank account?” Josh said getting closer to his brothers face. Kendall scoffed pushing Josh away.

“He’s got an appointment at Salon de Glamour at nine am tomorrow.”

“How long is he staying for?”

“Says here until the second week in July. Was that helpful enough? I mean I’m now getting used to the program so I don’t know if there is more I can get…”

“No Ken this was good. Thanks for this.” Josh said looking at Mandy with a smirk.

“Now….how good are you with photoshop?”

“Now you’re talking my style. What do you need?” Mandy’s face split into a wicked grin as she pulled a chair beside Kendall.

* * *

  
Ian sat under the gentle glow of his bedside lamp scribbling against the pages of his old journal. He’d had a jolt of inspiration while trying to sleep that night and because he wasn’t back in his apartment in New York and didn’t have his laptop he settled for the old way. The way he used to write before, when he was manic. His new phone vibrated gently against his blanket and his eyes went down to it.

_ Mickey: you up? _

_ Ian: Yeah. Can’t sleep? _

_ Mickey: I want to actually but I’m trying to finish the last piece for the second book. You can’t sleep? _

_ Ian: no…had too many ideas in my head. _

_ Mickey: I know what you mean. Thoughts more than ideas though. _

_Ian: what you thinking about?_ Ian looked up from his phone when he heard a gentle knock at his door. Fiona stood with heavy eyes in a large old T-shirt.

“Hey…it’s been so long since I’ve seen you up under that lamp.” She smiled.

“Is the light bothering you?” Ian asked ready to shut it off.

“No…I got up to use the bathroom. You okay?”

“Yeah. Better.” Ian smiled as he felt his phone vibrate his eyes darted down to the screen then back to Fiona.

“I don’t know who this guy is but I think I already like him. He’s got you actually smiling.” She smiled as she walked further into the room to pull Liam’s blanket properly over him and then left for the bathroom. He immediately picked his phone up opening the text.

_Mickey: been thinking about us…me idk._

_Mickey: shit you’ve either fallen asleep or got scared. Sorry._

_Ian: no I’m here. Fiona was talking to me. Thinking good things or bad things…or dirty things ;)_

_Mickey: sorry to burst your bubble Fabio but serious things._

_Ian: : (_

_Mickey: I like you. I do a lot. But I’m worried I’m rushing this._

_Mickey: I’m not saying that I want to stop where we’re going or to call it but…I’m scared._

_Ian: me too. I’ve actually never had a relationship before….can I call you?_

_Mickey: yeah._

Soon Ian was dialling Mickey’s number as he turned his lamp off and quietly left the room to go down to the living room so he won’t wake Liam. When he got to the couch he sank down into it just as Mickey picked up. “ _Hey_ ,” his voice sounded croaky and hoarse.

“Hey. You okay? Your voice doesn’t sound like…you.”

“ _It’s the cold. It’s taking its toll on me. I miss you.” Ian smiled as he leaned his face into back of the couch like he was trying to hide a blush that Mickey clearly couldn’t see._

 _“I figure you wanted to say something that’s probably too long to type?”_ Mickey asked as Ian heard him moving around, “ _just give me a minute I’m locking up the door_.” He knocked around for a bit and Ian heard him open and close his fridge door before silence settled. “ _Okay. Sorry about that I just wanted to get in bed. It’s cold as fuck and I feel like shit. Been up all day painting. Go ahead._ ”

“Sorry you don’t feel good. Wish I could be there to make you tomato juice.” Ian smiled causing Mickey to mumble something about _fucking off._

_“So what did you want to tell me?”_

Ian breathed in as he sank deeper into the couch and stretched his legs out. “I’ve never actually been in a real relationship. When I ran off when I got sick…I was going around with this guy but it was mostly because he gave me good drugs in exchange for sex. I don’t remember much but he hit me around and basically used me. That’s the closest thing I had to a boyfriend. And then after my family found me and I got medicated, I realised I was worth more than how he treated me. So I’ve found it hard to trust men. To give myself to anyone.”

 _“Shit…where’s this guy now?”_ Mickey’s voice heavy with concern.

“Prison probably. Or dead I don’t know. He wasn’t entirely happy when I left him so I couldn’t imagine he’d be nice if I saw him.”

_“You know you didn’t deserve that right?”_

“Yeah I know that now. My point…is that you’re scared because you’ve been in a relationship that didn’t work out well and you’re scared to dive into it. I’m scared because I’ve never actually felt these kind of things for anyone before and it’s fucking terrifying, especially when…” his voice trailed off as he second guessed telling Mickey that.

 _“Especially when what Ian?”_ Mickey asked curiously.

“Especially when everyone, including myself, thinks that maybe every new thing that makes me feel alive and happy so quickly or makes me feel like I’m on the top of the world, is because of my bipolar disorder.”

_“You’re balanced though right? Taking your medication, keeping routines.”_

“Yeah. I am. But…even then the meds can sometimes stop working and I’m scared it does and I fuck this up.” Ian knew his voice suddenly sounded smaller as his voice broke slightly, “Mick, I’m scared I mess this up. And the fact that I feel so intensely about you in such a short space of time…it’s fucking me up. What if I fuck it up?”

_“Hey…are you forgetting who you’re talking to? I’m the king of fucking things up….Ian?”_

“Yeah?” Ian whispered as he wiped away a tear that fell from his eyes.

_“If this does get fucked up, I can guarantee you it won’t be because you’re bipolar. I’d never blame you for that. I’m really fucking soft for you if you haven’t realised. Look, how about you help me understand more about you. So I could know if things are off. And so we could face it together? That way you won’t be alone?”_

“What did I do to deserve having you in my life?”

Mickey laughed softly and it sounded like music to Ian’s ear, “Mick?”

“ _Gallagher_.”

“I really like you.” Ian whispered.

 _“I really like you too_.”

“Go sleep. You sound tired. I’ll call you tomorrow. I’ll be home in two days.”

_“Two days. Goodnight Ian.”_

“Goodnight Mickey.”

 

* * *

 

Mickey had never known his direction in life when he was growing up. He’d remember when he his father first caught him drawing he snatched the paper and ripped it up and told him drawing was only for pansy ass fags. For a long time after that he hadn’t picked up a pencil. But miraculously, the universe had breathed a sigh of relief over him and Mandy and he was able to truly embrace himself in a new city. That morning when he work up he sat at his kitchen bench with a canvas atop it and he put the finishing touches on the last piece for the first book. After this, he’d only have three piece to finish. He looked down and smiled despite the burning in his nose and the itching in his eyes from the cold. He smiled because he was truly happy. And he told himself then, that even if things don’t work out the way he hopes they would with Ian, he has his art, he has his life and he is free to do whatever he pleases with it.

He put his signature on the piece, the last touch as he thinks about how little time has passed since he met Ian, yet he feels like he’s known the redhead for an eternity and more. Maybe it’s because Ian remind him of home. Or maybe they just click well, whatever it was the time he’s spent with Ian is much like the microwave minute, only it’s not dreary and long and he doesn’t wish he could yank the door open to stop it. In fact he wishes it’ll go on forever.


	17. Take Me To Your Room, Asshole.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian returns to the Big Apple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow look at that I'm updating twice in one week again. Lol hope you all enjoy this chapter. The boyshelf reunite and things heat up....kinda? Anyways feedback is always welcomed

Ian hadn’t spent Christmas home in three years. His family had visited the first year when he couldn’t go back to Chicago but after that he’d become mostly too busy to fly back or even entertain them if they visited. Christmas morning he stirred when Liam jumped onto the bed waking him up. He smiled lazily as he sat up hearing the chatter of Debbie and Carla down the hall. He took his pills and then went into the bathroom before heading down. Fiona was already sitting in the living room with Debbie and Lip while Carl came down right behind him. It was only the day before that Lip had gotten released from the hospital, and he was only going to spend Christmas morning with the family before checking into a rehabilitation facility. “Merry Christmas.” Ian smiled as he hugged Fiona and then Lip and Debbie. The rest of the morning was spent sitting around opening small gifts they had bought for each other and talking. Right after they had eaten breakfast Ian grabbed his coat and headed out through the back door for a smoke. When Lip opened the door he joined Ian on the step where they passed the cigarette between them like they would when they were younger.

“I thought you quit.” Lip said hugging his chest.

“I did...for a while and then started back up. How are you feeling about going back in?” Ian asked because he knew his brother would most likely be terrified.

“Good. I can’t keep doing this shit. I scared you guys and I scared myself.”

“That’s good. Look whenever you get out, and you wanna come stay with me in New York to get away from he temptations of this place....you’re always welcome to come.”

“Thanks. Think I’m just gonna take it day by day. What about you? You ready to go back to the Big Apple?”

“No offense...but I’ve been ready since Mickey called me.” Ian laughed.

“You really fucking serious about this shit huh?”

“Yeah, I am. You remember how you used to feel about Karen even though she fucked you over countless times?”

“Yeah man, I was so fucking whipped I would have done anything for her…probably still might. So fucking whipped I tell you.”

“Well so am I.”

* * *

  
Mickey spent Christmas eve night at Mandy and Josh’s staying up late and talking and drinking. “So have you decided what your big gesture is going to be?” Mandy asked as they sat around that night.

“Big gesture?” Josh asked before stuffing his mouth with celery and dip.

“Mandy is under some illusion that I should make some gay as fuck grand gesture to show Ian that I’m in it with him and that I’m over Connor.”

“That’s not such a bad idea. From what Mandy has told me about the guy he seems like a real romantic. So what’s the plan?”

“Don’t worry about it I got it covered.”

When he woke up in their guest bedroom the next day it was because their dog Koa had taken the liberty to jump onto the bed and drench his face in spit. Mandy, Josh and Mickey sat around their Christmas tree eating breakfast and opening presents. “Mick, Josh and I thought that you could really use this because…well we have a really good feeling that your exhibit is gonna take you places and you’re gonna have to stop depending on Harvey and Beck.” Mickey furrowed his brows in confusion as Josh handed over the package. He ripped the paper off slowly while still watching his sister’s excited face. When he peeled back the gift wrapping paper, his very own Wacom drawing tablet was sitting in his lap.

“What the fuck Mandy?! This is really fucking expensive.”

“Yeah but it’s time you stop having to rely on the company’s. Now you got your own.” She smiles watching the shock still worn on her brother’s face. He pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes stopping the tears that threatened to fall.

“Fuck. Thank you. You two shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’ll be worth it.” Josh smiles. “You’ll be racking in a shit ton of money when you get more jobs.”

“Okay your turn.” Mickey said handing over a envelope to the couple.

Mandy looked at his curiously before peeling the sticky fold of the paper. “Uh…Isabelle helped me with this…she pulled some strings.” Mickey said awkwardly as Mandy pulled the card out. It was confirmation for a booked date of their dream wedding venue, the Midtown Loft and Terrace. The place was usually booked all year round and really damn expensive.

“Mickey, this is really sweet and You probably think I have money but we can’t afford this we’re trying to do this wedding without relying on my parents.” Josh started.

“You don’t have to. I’ll be working with the hotel part time to do some art for them and well this is my payment.” The air was suddenly knocked out of him as Mandy dove into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck whispering thank you thank you thank you into his ears. “My pleasure.”

* * *

  
After they had eaten a big lunch and spent their last few moments of the holiday together they all piled into Fiona’s car and Kev’s truck and made their way to the Gateway Foundation facility where they all hugged Lip tightly and wished him the best. Ian couldn’t help the tears that welded in his eyes as he watched his brother go through those doors for the second time that year. “You make this time count, okay?” Ian said as he gripped his brother in his arms, “I’ll try and come back after the exhibit and visit you.”

“Thanks…all of you. I love you.” Lip smiled as he signed his last document and was lead to back of the facility.

Ian’s goodbye was actually much similar. It seemed as though the Gallagher has spent a lot of time and had gotten good at these kind of goodbyes. It started with their mother as they would bid her farewell on her many trips to the psychiatric facility, then it was Ian’s turn on multiple occasions and then now Lip. But this goodbye wasn’t a bitter fearful one for Ian. He was leaving Chicago knowing where he was going, and knowing that someone who looked a lot like happiness to him was waiting in New York.

And that he was. Waiting. Standing amongst various groups in the middle of the airport waiting for their families to come home for the holidays despite it being late. It was clear that he had taken the time to shave and to get his hair cut. He was dressed in a black skinny jeans, a grey thermal and a black longline pea coat. His pink plump bottom lip snugged between his teeth as his blue eyes peered over the crowd filing out from baggage claim. Ian stood mostly immobilised as he took in the sight of Mickey with his hands shoved in his pockets. And when he turned his face and his eyes landed on red hair and pale skin, his blue eyes lit up as his lips curled upwards. It wasn’t that cheesy as fuck moment where they run into each other’s arms and swing around in the middle of the airport while people oohed and aaahed about it. Ian extended the handle of the luggage he borrowed from Fiona with the little bit of shit he brought back and shuffled his feet quickly in Mickey’s direction.

When he was close enough Ian bent his head down unexpectedly pecking Mickey’s lips. “Hey.” He whispered. Mickey gripped Ian’s face his his palms as he brought the read heads face closer to kiss him more deeply. “Hey.” He smiled as they parted to breathe.

Ian wrapped his arms around Mickey’s waist pulling him in closely and tightly while he inhaled his smell. “You smell so good…different but good.” Ian laughed.

“Mandy…bought me some new body wash.” Mickey brushed off.

“I like it.” Ian said taking a deep breath of the smell again.

“You ready to get out of here?” Mickey asked as they pulled apart reluctantly.

“Yeah…where are we going? Yours? Mine?” Ian hated that he sounded so presumptious but he really just wanted to be as near to Mickey as possible.

“Uh…yours. I got a surprise for you.” Mickey winked as he and Ian left the airport.

* * *

Surprisingly enough the pair had been well controlled in keeping their hands off each other as Mickey drove Ian’s car that Alex had given him the key to. Mickey could notice Ian’s itching his palms in his lap and the few time Ian reached to touch his thigh but pulled back. “So…how’s your brother?” Mickey asked hoping to diminish a little of the sexual tension rising in the car because all he wanted to do right now was to get his hands on Ian and his lips on his skin.

“Better, he checked into rehab. Hopefully it works this time.” Ian said sighing relief when Mickey pulled into the parking lot of his building. They climbed into the elevator, with Ian aggressively punching the correct floor number. His breath hitches when Mickey reaches his hand and snaked it into own into it, intertwining their fingers. He could feel the eyes of the old couple in the elevator staring at them, probably in disgust.

Ding.

The elevator door slid open and Ian was eagerly pulling Mickey toward his door. When they got to the door Mickey was immediately pushed to the wall beside it and Ian was frantically wrapping his arms around him and kissing at his lips and jaw and neck. And Mickey could feel himself getting lost in it and he wanted so desperately to just give in but he planned things out. “Hey, Hey, hey.” He said pushing slightly as Ian. Ian jerked back instantly with panic that he had gone too far in his eyes.

“Shit. Sorry. I shouldn’t have I just. Fuck...I’ve been thinking about you so much and I just wanted to feel you. All of you.” He slowly began retreating in regret until Mickey grabbed him by the collar and pulled him closer pecking his lips.

“No…it’s good. Fuck it’s more than good but, I sorta wanted to give you your surprise first.” Mickey said shyly as he gestured for Ian to unlock his door. Ian furrowed his brows and with a small smile he pulled away and fished his key out of his pocket. His shaking fingers made it difficult but soon he was able to turn the key and push the door open to find his apartment completely casted by the reflection of multicoloured twinkling Christmas lights that wrapped around a decent sized Christmas tree. Little silver ornaments hung from its branches and Ian could notice a few small gifts wrapped under in silver paper.

“Holy shit. This is beautiful.” Ian said with wide eyes as he looked over at Mickey who looked impossibly more beautiful under the twinkling lights. He shut the door and then wrapped his arms lazily around Mickey to bring him as close as possible. He bent his head so he could sweetly and softly kiss Mickey’s cheek in the way that he knew fucked the other man up more than their lips on lips. “Thank you.”

“I…I got us dinner too. Just from that Thai place Alex said you liked to have on Christmases that you spent alone.”

“I’m not alone. I’ve got you.” Ian whispered as he pressed his face into Mickey’s neck. And what was once sexual tension had turned into something much deeper. They pulled away from each other to shed off their outerwear before settling to eat. Mickey notice the way Ian’s eyes raked over him and he couldn’t help the pink flush that came to his cheeks.

“What?” Mickey asked looking away.

“You look really good…that’s all.” Ian smiled.

“You too.”

“Fuck off, I’ve had this T-shirt since I was probably fifteen years old and it was a hand me down from Lip. And this jeans….I actually don’t think this is mine, might be and my sisters ex boyfriend’s.” Ian said looking down at the tight jeans.

“Really struggled to get clothes there huh?”

“Yeah…I pretty much left with my hands swinging.” Mickey laces his finger through Ian’s belt loop pulling him closer, “Keep the boyband pants…I like it.” He said before laying a soft kiss to Ian’s jawline before pulling away and heading into the kitchen. They emptied their food onto plates and went into the living room to settled under the lights of the tree and to have their dinner. Sure a few moments before Ian was ready to rip off Mickey’s clothes and he still wanted to do that but he found himself wanting Mickey in every way and this was one way he was yet to have him.

“Alex help you out with getting the tree here?” He asked as he took a bite of his food.

“Yeah…Mandy helped too with you know, the decorations.”

“You didn’t have to do this you know?”

Mickey blushes as he looked Ian in the eyes, “I know. I wanted to.” They ate with comfortable conversation flittering between them until Ian couldn’t bear but ask the question he needed to for assurance.

“So…is Connor gone?” Ian asked as he picked up both their plates and put it into the sink. He hated that he was probably spoiling a good moment but he was insecure when it came to the amount of time Mickey had spent with Connor in comparison to him and Ian.

“Uh… I don’t really know if he’s still in the city. He kept calling but I ignored the calls which I actually didn’t know some of was you. But I told him to leave me alone.”

“Yeah? How’d he take that?”

“I don’t really give a shit. Hey, don’t let him get to you alright? Fucker cheated on me, I don’t want him. I want you.” Mickey said pulling Ian down to sit on the couch, “I also got you something.” He said before getting up and heading over to the tree when he picked up three gifts.

“Those are more than one Mick. And if we’re doing the whole gift exchange thing…gimme a minute. Ian said getting up and going into his bedroom. When he came back he had two pretty large gift bags.

“You got more than one too fucker.” Mickey teased. “Okay you first.” Mickey said holding out two of the gifts to Ian. Ian sat beside him, much closer this time as he took the presents from Mickey. The first when he unwrapped it was a leather bound travellers journal, engraved in the bottom right corner was I.G. “Mick….it’s so beautiful.”

“Yeah…I remember you saying on our Jersey trip that you’re tired of how tech the world has turned, that writers barely write on paper anymore.”

“Yeah…I remember. Fuck, I love it, thank you so much.” He then moved on to the bigger envelope. When he opened it there were glossy prints of a couple of art pieces some Ian had recognized from Mickey’s journal. “What’s this?”

“Well. You know how the company was having issues with the paper and they gave up and wrote it off? Well Violet and a couple of the guys from IT helped sort of the configurations and shit as well I told Alex to lie and tell you they cancelled the order for the paper. But we figured it out. And well since it was a surprise I didn’t know which covers you wanted so I kinda went with my gut, but if you don’t like it we can get them to go with another print but instead of this year they’ll be good for the third week in January for release of the entire rebranded collection, but as I said if you don’t like-” Mickey’s ramblings were instantly cut off by Ian’s lips against his his hand cupping Mickey’s cheek. It was his big grand gesture. Not the tree or the lights or dinner. This. Because he knew it meant something to Ian.

“I can’t imagine how much stress that was for you. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know it meant a lot to you.” Mickey said looking down away from Ian’s gaze. Ian lifted Mickey chin pecking his lips once more. “I love it. It’s so perfect.”

Mickey blushes as he held out the smallest gift to Ian, “Last one…Mandy helped me pick it out.” Ian took the small box and ripped the silver paper off before popping the lid. Tucked in the white tissue paper was a black leather necklace with a silver pendant; a paintbrush and a pen crossing each other. “I know it’s really fucking gay….but…”

“Would you stop discrediting yourself so much? It’s not gay. It’s us.” Ian took the chain out and quickly fastened it to his neck. “Now I feel like my gifts are shit in comparison but go for it.” Ian said handing the bags over, “open this one first.”

When he pulled the tissue out the bag and he saw a sheet set his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He pulled the sheets out from the bag and looked over them, the image printed was little lightning bolts and trident, for Zeus and Poseidon. “Oh shit…these are sick. Where’d you get these?”

Ian looked at Mickey with shock, “What?” Mickey asked.

“Well, it was supposed to be a joke…but then I kinda decided to get one that you might like. You uh….you were talking in your sleep one night in the hotel. Saying shit that you like 1000 count sheets like the bed in the hotel had.” Mickey begins turning red from embarrassment. “But they only had plain sheet sets so I called Landon and well you know he’s pretty stinking rich so he had those custom made for you.”

“No shit! Fuck! That’s awesome. Well jokes on you, Red. ‘Cause I fucking love it.” Ian laughed as he moved onto the next bag. He knows it’s a weird ass gift to give someone and oddly domestic but Mickey loved it so that’s all that mattered.

“Okay this one, you told me the Trials of Poseidon series were one of your favourites by Landon one night in my office and when I called Landon about the sheets he Uh told me that his new series was gonna drop in February but he gave me this….” Just then Mickey pulled out Trials of Apollo Series box set by Jackson Landon.

“Ian! These haven’t come out yet?”

“No…you’re the first to have the set. Uh but that’s not all, open the first book.” Mickey furrowed his eyebrows as he tugged the first book out the box and opened it. He flipped through until an envelope fell into his lap. “What’s this?”

“Open it.” Ian prompted, when Mickey did just that he began reading aloud.

“Dear Mr Gallagher and Mr Milkovich, We kindly appreciate your extended invitation to attend your upcoming exhibit. Mr King had expressed extensively his appreciation for the Paint Me In Blood Series And looks forward to meeting you both. Good luck and see you soon. Yours Respectfully, Annie Kelman, Assistant Of Stephen King.” Because if it was one thing Mickey enjoyed as much as a good Greek Mythology book was a good Stephen King book.

Mickey’s mouth stay hanging open as his eyes bulged out, “You’re shitting me right? Like this isn’t real.”

“No it is…Blaine actually helped with that since he and Stephen’s assistant are friends so I guess he isn’t such an asshole.” Ian grinned at Mickey before the brunette man was lurching himself into Ian’s arms and kissing his lips violently.

He kissed at Ian’s lip, his cheek, his jaw, and every inch of his neck, “Thank you, Ian. That mean so much to me.”

“So does this.” Ian said holding up the necklace by the pendant. Mickey closed the distance again poking his tongue into Ian’s mouth and licking at his pink lips. The kiss quickly deepened and Mickey was climbing into Ian’s lap running his hand through red hair. This felt right. The taste was all right, the smell was all right, the feel of Ian’s lips him was just right. The sexual tension was back with a force crackling through the Fifth Avenue apartment, sending chills down Mickey’s spine. Ian could feel the hair on his neck raise as Mickey’s hand smoothed over the skin leaving goosebumps in his wake. “Can I take you to my bedroom now….or?”

Mickey chucked as he nipped Ian’s jaw, “Yeah…take me to your room, asshole.”

 


	18. I'm Going To Need To Hear You Say It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They boys get closer I more ways than one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry this is kind of late, this week and next week is midterms week as well as Carnival in my country with is like a big national event, so I've been kind of busy and distracted. But since its Carnival this weekend I'm off school until Tuesday so hopefully I can update this again before I go back go school. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, I think it's well awaited.

There were multicoloured lights twinkling against the walls of his living room while snow fell leaving the echo of a pitter patter on the window. The room smelled like Chinese takeout and despite the raging snow of New York City, the apartment was comfortably warm. The sheets were clean because Ian had changed them the morning he’d abruptly left for Chicago. They smelt like fresh cotton and linen spray and it was like all was right with the night. All that and the beautiful man laying in the middle of Ian’s bed. Ian walked in from the bathroom where he got his box of condoms and lube. Yeah, they were in his bathroom because he was so fucking celibate that’s where they’d ended up and never needed to be brought into the bedroom.

Mickey was laying with his elbows propped up as he looked on at Ian. His grey thermal looked so good the way it wrapped around his strong arms. Ian couldn’t help but stand at the foot of the bed while admiring the man. Imagining how those toned muscles probably flexed beneath his skin while he stood painting, small smears of paint adorning his milky pale skin. Ian had to muster all his will power to not moan at the thoughts. The two buttons of his dark jeans where already popped open as he spread his legs a little wider taunting Ian. The raven-haired man then swiped his tongue, wetting his bottom lip. Ian was getting drunk on the sight as he kneeled onto the bed between Mickey’s legs. Ian surged forward crashing his lips against Mickey’s moaning into the feel and taste of it. There was the taste of pad thai lingered on his lips mixed in with the bitterness of a beer and smoke of cigarettes...maybe weed...definitely weed. He threw the box of condoms and lube onto the bed as he cupped Mickey’s cheek while his other hand laced through black hair. “So good.” Ian whispered against Mickey’s lips.

He slipped his hands under Mickey’s thermal feeling the warm skin beneath his touch while he kissed along the man’s jawline. Mickey reached out pushing up Ian’s tight T-shirt causing Ian to pull away and yank it over his head before throwing it to the side. Mickey followed suit shedding his shirt and then pushing his jeans down and off. He sat up then unbuckling Ian’s belt as he looked up with his lustful blue eyes. Ian’s breath hitches as Mickey kissed at his belly button as he undid the pants. He barely gave Ian any room to push his pants down before he pulled Ian’s boxers down causing the pink swollen erection to spring free. Mickey looked up again with a wicked grin before sticking his tongue out licking Ian’s length. Ian sighed letting his head lull back. He then wrapped his lips around the head sucking lightly, bobbing his head lower and lower. Taking each inch at a time until his nose was buried in a tuft of red hair. He did that a couple of times before Ian was begging him to push off afraid he would come too soon. Ian removed his jeans before pushing Mickey back against the mattress as he hovered over him.

Mickey held Ian’s cheek guiding him to his lips. They were both aware of how different this was for them and it was honestly beginning to scare the shit out of Mickey. So he pushed Ian back as he flipped onto his hands and knees looking back over his shoulder with a smirk that exuded confidence much unlike what he felt. Sex he knew for a fact he was good at...feelings not so much. Ian cursed under his breath at the sight as he brought his hands up to knead at Mickey’s ass. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of Mickey’s boxers and slowly raked it down until it bunched beneath his ass. “Fucking hell.” Ian whispered unable to resist causing him to bend down and nip at the fleshy skin. Mickey yelped before chuckling at Ian’s reaction. “Come on, Gallagher. You’re making me restless here.”

Without heading warning, Ian spread Mickey’s cheeks apart before licking over his opening. He made short fat stripes over before pushing his tongue’s tip in. “Fuck…Ian.” Mickey moaned reaching back to thread his fingers in Ian’s hair.

“That good, Mick?” Ian teased while he rubbed his forefinger around Mickey’s opening.

“Yeah…you’re a dirty fucker aren’t you?” Mickey asked as Ian kitten licked him.

“You have no clue, Milkovich.” Ian went to town until Mickey began pushing back and moaning his name. Ian made well to slick his fingers up and prepped Mickey quickly despite the work his tongue had done. He slicked the lube onto his condom-covered member before reaching to line himself up. Slowly he began pushing into Mickey’s heat as he groaned loudly. He stopped at the hilt giving them both time to readjust because if Ian didn’t he knew he’d come too quick.

“Get to moving, Gallagher.”

“You’re such an impatient motherfucker. Gimme a minute…I don’t wanna bust so quickly.” Ian said reaching hand down to squeeze the base of his cock.

“You a fourteen year old virgin again?” Mickey teased as he pulled his ass forward causing Ian to slide out of him but not completely before Mickey was pushing back onto him. For a brief moment Ian forgot how to fuck. Instead he just knelt there watching down at where their bodies connected watching Mickey fuck himself onto him. He didn’t know what to do with his hands , the threaded through his hair while a animalistic groan escaped his lips. And it was like his adrenaline kicked in. He gripped the sides of Mickey’s waist firmly sure to bruise the skin before beginning to piston into the shorter man. He carried on his relentless pace ripping moans and curses from Mickey.

“Fuck…that’s it…shit.” Ian smiled despite the pace his body was rocking at. The sound Mickey was making was like music to his ears as he clenched around Ian. Ian abruptly pulled out sitting on his heels breathing heavily.

“What the fuck?” Mickey admonished looking back.

“Turn around.” Ian breathed. Mickey smirked as he flipped onto his back and looked up Ian.

“You alright there, tough guy?” Mickey teased.

Ian flipped him off as he reached down between his legs to line up again. Before Mickey could chastise him some more he was pushing in and resuming his fast and hard pace causing the man below him to punch out broken sentences that made fuck all sense. If Ian had enough energy right now he’d probably laugh at how fucking cute Mickey really was. That’s when it hit him. He was relentlessly fucking this guy while dirty phrases poured from his plump lips alongside moans and fucks but Ian thought he was cute. Sure he was sexy as hell but he was so fucking cute it made Ian’s heart swell. He bent his body down covering Mickey’s with his own slowing pace down a bit. He pushed in deep knowing he hit the right spot as Mickey’s eyes rolled back. The intense feeling before they had started returned flipping the pit of Mickey’s stomach. Ian reached his hands out to cover Mickey That were stretched to his out grasping at sheets. His hands covered the brunette’s own turning them until their fingers intertwined.

Ian bent down nipping at Mickey’a bottom lip until the older man opened his eyes to meet his own. “I’m close…” Mickey rapped against Ian’s lips. Ian pulled back still looking intently into Mickey’s eyes. “Ian…” Mickey whispered through a grunt as he spilled between them unexpectedly. His teeth bore into his bottom lip as his for head crinkled as he rode out his pleasure. The clenching around his cock and the look in Mickey’s face, that insanely utterly beautiful look, were enough to push him over. He slumped down onto Mickey as his hips stuttered before stilling. Strong arms encircled around his shoulders holding him until he had enough strength to pull back. He reached down pecking Mickey’s lips as they both breathed heavily. When Ian lifted himself off he pulled out and tied off the condom throwing it to the waste basket. He looked back down at Mickey who was still spread out beneath him his hands running up and down his sternum. Ian’s eyes went down to his wet cock still looking half hard. And he’d never been one to do this before but he shimmied down the bed until he was face to crotch and took Mickey into his mouth. At the feel Mickey jerked at the overstimulation as he looked down at Ian who licked his member clean of any remaining cum and then moved up his body licking his stomach and chest until he was up above Mickey’s face. He kissed Mickey slowly before his lips split into a grin. “You’re so fucking hot.”

“And you’re not only dirty but you’re kinky.” Mickey smiled patting Ian’s cheek before the redhead settled beside him in the bed. Mickey surprised himself when he turned his body and scooted close enough so that Ian could drape his arms around him tightly.

“Thank you.” Ian whispered.

“For what? Sex?” Mickey laughed looking up at Ian.

“For tonight.” Mickey smiled softly before reluctantly getting up from the bed. “Where you going? Leaving already?”

Mickey chuckled as he shook his head, “I’m gonna take a piss.” He left the room with Ian laying in bed with a stupid smile on his face as he stared up at his ceiling. He doesn’t know how long he lay there for until Mickey’s voice broke his daze. “You ready to go again or you need some time, Firecrotch?”

They both giggled as they wrestled until it turned into rutting and then fucking. In the late hours of that night Ian found it hard to sleep as he combed his hands through Mickey’s hair. He leaned down kissed his nose before whispering, “Merry Christmas, Mick.”

“Merry Christmas, Gingerballs.” They both cracked up into a fit of laughter before wounding arms around each other tightly.

They’d fallen asleep in an entanglement of limbs but sometime throughout the night Mickey woke up in a sweat of guilt. He was sitting up in the bed rubbing the sleep from his eyes as his mind replayed the night he’d gotten drunk and trekked over to Connor’s hotel room. “Hey…you okay?” He heard Ian’s whisper as the redhead sat up and turned the lamp on, “What’s wrong?” Right, because this was the first night they were spending together and Ian wouldn’t know about the few odd nights in a month where Mickey woke up from a nightmare. Ian began rubbing soft circles on Mickey’s bare back and it only served to make Mickey more aware of what he had done. “Are you okay?” Ian asked with a voice heavy with worry, “Bad dream?”

“No…” Mickey said softly as he looked at the window away from Ian. “I…I have something to tell you. And I should have told you before we…you know.” Mickey said gesturing his hands between them.

“Mick…you’re getting me worried.”

“I…when you were in Chicago…I…fuck…I got really drunk one night, and I ended up at Connor’s hotel room and I…fuck…we….” He began kneading the heels of his hands as Ian’s hand stopped soothing him and moved away.

There was silence for some time before Ian spoke, “I’m going to need to hear you say it, Mickey.”

“I didn’t sleep with him. We kissed but then it was all wrong. It wasn’t you and I left.” Mickey spared a glance toward Ian seeing a dark flicker of anger? Jealousy? He couldn’t quite tell.

“You kissed.” He said softly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to…but honestly I felt so fucking ashamed and…I didn’t want to tell you on the phone but then when I saw you all I could think about was you so I felt like it didn’t matter. I’m sorry, I should have told you.”

Ian sighed heavily before his hands came to knead at Mickey’s shoulders, “I thought you slept with him…and even then I don’t think I can be mad.”

“What? You got a right to be mad Ian.”Mickey said swivelling around the face the redhead properly.

“No…I don’t. Yeah we had something with each other before he came back but I never really was clear about what I wanted and I know how upset I was when you won’t answer so I’d assume you felt the same way. Plus he’s your ex Mickey, obviously you’d be emotional about him coming back and…my point is I don’t blame you. Sure, I’m upset at the thought of it happening because I don’t want to think of anyone else with you but…I’m not mad. Not with you at least.”

Mickey was feeling weighed down and heavy and guilty since it happened and he knows now his gut was right, he should have told Ian from the start, “fuck…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s okay.” Ian said rubbing Mickey’s cheek, “just how drunk were you?”

“Really fucking drunk honestly. I don’t even remember how I ended up there. I’m surprised I remember it actually.”

“Did he kiss you back?”

“Yeah…”Mickey Said watching Ian curiously.

“So…Connor saw how inebriated you were and still kissed you back? He’s a real douche you know, that and the fact that he kissed you in your apartment without your permission. I really fucking hate that guy.” Ian said with fists now clenched against Mickey.

“Hey…me too I hate him too. He’s not worth our time. Look I was gonna wait until after the exhibit to ask this but…I wanna give us a go… like a really serious go.”

Ian lazily smiled as He leaned his forehead against Mickey’s, “I thought that was already established since you called me.” Ian smiled, “but yeah…I’d like to give us a go.” Mickey tilted his chin up connecting their lips as he pushed Ian onto his back, “You really fuck me up, you know that?”

“You fuck me up just as much.” Ian said licking at Mickey’s lips until the brunette parted his lips and accepted him. Mickey lay his weight down on Ian as he pulled back from the kiss. His left hand came up smoothening down Ian’s bed hair and then swiping his cheekbone, “You’re really amazing, you know that?”

“You too, Mick. You deserve the world.” There was something in Ian’s eyes, a flicker of doubt and insecurity and Mickey wished he could make that look good away. “Do you love him?” Ian whispered.

“No…not anymore.” Mickey said closing his eyes to steady himself despite Ian’s arms that were wound tightly around his waist.

“Okay…I believe you. I just…I don’t want to be a rebound. Or a side piece or a secret. I’ve been that before many years ago.”

“Whoever treat you like that don’t deserve you. Fuck…I don’t think I deserve you.”

“No…I don’t think I deserve you. You’re too good.” Ian puckered his lips pressing them to Mickey’s, “You’re worth so much more than you know. I’m so fucking whipped for you.” Ian smiled gently.

“Yeah? You sure it’s not just because of my ass?” Mickey teases in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“It is a pretty good ass.” Ian said pinching Mickey’s ass cheek for effect but then his face fell serious again, “I…know Mandy had things pretty tough. And she used to wake up on nights she spent at my house in a sweat because of nightmares…is that a regular thing with you too?” He asks and he doesn’t sound exasperated or annoyed by it but he’s soft, cautious even as he tenderly smoothes a hand over Mickey’s back. And Mickey had never been a guy to talk about the things he’s experienced when he was younger. Not when he was is Juvie and the counsellor insisted, not when he was a kid and social workers took them a few times. He just had never felt comfortable talking about that shit not even with Mandy and she lived through it with him. Ian could feel beneath his hands the way Mickey tenses up, “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have asked. I just…I wanna be here for you, I don’t wanna judge you or anything I just want to be here.”

“Yeah…it’s a regular thing. It’s gotten better though. Not as often…but it still happens.” Mickey said as he hides his face in the crook of Ian’s neck and now Ian’s figured Mickey’s shared enough for the night so he reaches over and turns of the lamps and then flips them until Mickey’s laying beside him. He wraps an arm around Mickey’s waist and pulls him close, “Okay. Well I’m here.” He lays a soft kiss to Mickey’s temple as he shuts his eyes.

* * *

Mickey expected to wake up the next morning with Ian’s breath on the nape of his neck while his strong warm arms wrapped tightly around his waist. But when he came to he felt a shiver down his spine from the early morning winter draught that swooped in. He turned over to find the bed beside him empty and cold. The clock read 6:57 he sighed heavily as he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before he planted his feet on the cold wooden floors. He grabbed the first sweatpants he saw laying around and slipped it on as he made his way out to the living room.

He found Ian in nothing but cutoff sweatpants hunched over the stove, his muscles flexing beneath his freckled skin. He couldn’t help but smirk at the sight. He silently padded over to the couch to sit and enjoy the sight of his…boyfriend? But with Mickey’s luck, when he lowered himself on the couch as quietly as possible there was suddenly a high pitched hissing sound. “What the fuck?!” He exclaimed making Ian jump at the stove.

“Fuck. Mick! You scared me….I didn’t know you were awake!” Ian said shutting the stove off. Mickey rounded on the couch to see a grey fur ball with sharp teeth bared at him. “Ian! What the fuck is that?”

Ian chuckled as he walked over to Mickey and he tentatively picked up said furball, “it’s a cat Mickey.”

“Yeah…no shit Sherlock. Why is it here?”

“Alex came by and dropped her off this morning.”

“Why?” Mickey asked still clutching his chest.

“Uhm…” Ian set the cat down on the recliner and then made his way back to the kitchen, “that’s a complicated and weird story.”

“Complicated and weird how?”

“Well, Alex rescued her a couple years ago…but she hates him so ever so often he brings her over to stay with me. He’s been trying to convince me to keep her but…I don’t know if I want that responsibility so I just keep her for a little while. So he dropped her off this morning.”

“You and your assistant share a cat?” Mickey asked sitting at the dining table.

“Well….I guess you can say that? What? You don’t like cats?”

“Uh….never really knew one before.” Mickey said looking over his shoulder at the cat who had settled down and cuddled into a pink blanket.

“Really? Well, you two better get acquainted, because she’s a fixture here.”

“W-What’s her name?”

“Iris.” Ian smiled as he cracked a tuna can open. “Come on sweet pea, come for breakfast.” He said as he put the can down on a mat in the kitchen. Mickey watched in amazement as the grey cat strutted over toward Ian, snuggled on his leg and then went to her food.

“So…how’d you sleep?” Ian asked as he set a plate of pancakes and eggs in front Mickey and then a cup of coffee.

“Uh…good, I guess.” Ian settled opposite him and began digging into his breakfast. Mickey sat with his fork in the air like he was about to cut his pancake but like he had something on his mind so he couldn’t entirely complete the action. “You okay?” Ian asked as he looked up to find Mickey in a clear dilemma.

“Last night you asked me if I get…nightmares often.” Mickey said avoiding Ian’s eye.

“Oh, you don’t have to say anything about that. We only started this like a couple weeks ago. I was being pushy and shouldn’t have asked.” Ian said

“No…you should know somethings before you get in deeper with me.” Mickey said setting his fork down.

“Okay….I can assure you though anything you tell me now isn’t gonna be a turn off.”

“Uh maybe wait until after to say that…my dad was a dick…you know that. I’ve got some issues with Uh… intimacy, mostly because I was always scared of being too gay, probably why Connor cheated in the first place. The therapist in Juvie said it’s normal providing the shit I’ve been through. They also told me I got anxiety a couple years ago when I passed out in the youth centre and they called a fucking ambulance for me...they make me carry around a stupid inhaler because of it. I’ve gotten good and managing it but you know sometimes things set me back. But I try.”

“Mick…” Ian said laying his hand over Mickey’s, “it’s okay. You didn’t have to tell me that…but I’m glad you did. We can help each other.” Ian smiled.

“About your uh bipolar, how do you know when things are…getting bad?”

Ian smiled softly as he said, “I’m not telling you that until you dig into those pancakes.” Mickey rolled his eyes and he took a big forkful to make a point, “Well, when I get manic, I barely sleep, I have increased sex drive…I don’t really seem to have a care for rules or logic…when I’m low I sometimes can’t move out of bed, I can’t eat, I can sometimes start being suicidal.” Ian stopped looking at Mickey’s sad eyes.

“That’s a lot. Uhm well, I’ve been reading up on it.”

“You have? I don’t think anyone I’ve ever been with has done that. They usually throw in the towel the moment they find out or pull the You’re crazy card whenever we get in a fight.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“That’s why I never kept anyone around.” The heavy conversation more or less ended there as they both finished up their breakfast and retired to Ian’s room for some sexy time. Again. They spent the rest of the day mostly in each other’s arms or close proximity. If they weren’t in Ian’s bed they were cuddled on the couch under blankets watching old holiday movies. The following day seemed like a small routine as they woke and had breakfast and then hung around. In the late afternoon Mickey began collecting his stuff to leave.

“You’re leaving?” Ian asked trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

“Yeah…I gotta get back to my apartment, Alex is coming by to pick up the last last few pieces and take it to the hall so they can start setting up all the shit for the exhibit. Plus I gotta get something to wear for the damn event.” When Mickey looked up Ian was smiling shyly at him, “What?”

“You’re going shopping?” Ian asked teasingly.

“Uh…Yeah? Mandy is insisting she takes me because in her words I don’t know fashion for shit.” He said as he pulled on the peacoat he wore two nights before.

Ian rakes his eyes over Mickey, “I’d beg to differ. This look….is really a look.” He said as he looped his index finger into Mickey’s belt loop pulling him close.

“Well sorry to burst your bubble…but Mandy bought this. If it were up to me I’d be in a old T-shirt with a random jacket.”

“That’ll work too.” Ian said dipping his head in the crook of Mickey’s neck, inhaling deeply, “you look good in anything.” He then pulled back pecking Mickey’s lips. “Go, we’ll catch up tonight.”

“Okay, text me what you wanna do for dinner.” Mickey said as he pecked Ian’s lips and then hightailed out the apartment leaving Ian with a loopy grin and happy feeling at how domestic they were being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Mickey told Ian right? I hope you are are really enjoying this. Comments and kudos are always appreciated. 💛


	19. Mickey Milkovich Has a Way Of Leaving People Speechless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Exhibit (Part 1)
> 
> The biggest night Mickey’s career is finally here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, look at me with my two updates. This is just the first part of the exhibit, turned out being quite and eventful night so I decided to split it up. Part 2 will be coming to you hopefully by the end of this week. I hope you all enjoy this and me explaining all the art isn't boring, I really hope I paint my picture well, these piecessation really supposed to convey Mickey’s passion so...enjoy. 😊

Suits were never his thing. In fact he only really owned one, the same on he took to Jersey when he and Ian attended the art exhibit for Jackson Landon’s series. Mickey had listened to his sister yap a million miles per hour about all the reason why he should wear a suit to his own exhibit. Ian’s input was “ _Do whatever you want, babe. You will look good either way.”_ Which was followed by a quick huff of _“Don’t call me babe._ ” So that had settled it, he didn’t want to wear a suit so he wasn’t going to wear one. He also had gotten frustrated standing in the mall while Mandy tried picking out articles of clothing for him to the point where he stormed out and left her there. So he had gone to he other best bet, his only other female friend Violet. They were due for quality time anyway so Mickey picked her up and had headed to the mall. The trip was successful much to Mandy’s dismay. When Mickey got home his sister was waiting in his apartment to review everything he had bought. He rolled his eyes and threw the bag at her head and then plopped down on his couch before she started up about Wow. These aren’t actually bad.

New Year’s Eve was an event that felt lifetimes away throughout the year but from the time Christmas had passed the days leading up to the end of the year dwindled by quickly. So on the eve of 2019 Mickey found himself standing in front his full length mirror fiddling with his jacket’s collar. He’d gone for simple, just like him. He was wearing a pair of fitted black jeans that made his ass look really damn good, a plain white T-shirt and a really exquisite navy blue fitted suit jacket. His black hair shone as he slicked it back and then gave himself another once over. This was the biggest day in his career so far. He walked back into the bathroom and splashed his best after shave before walking back out.

_Ian: Leaving home now. Are you ready? Nervous?_

_Mickey: If I wasn’t nervous before I am now. We’re leaving here now too._

_Ian: You’re gonna do so good, babe. See you in a bit._

_Mickey: Stop calling me that. See you._

“You ready?” Mandy asked from where she was slipping on her heels at the front door, “Josh is waiting in the car.” Mickey nodded making his way to the front door. Mandy stopped him smoothing over his jacket, “You look really good, and I’m really proud of you.” She smiled.

“You look really nice too. And thank you.”

“Come on, Let’s go.” They then made their way to the car where Josh waited for them. He and Ian had decided to meet outside of the venue because Mandy convinced them that if they got ready together they’d most definitely try having a quick fuck that led them to being late for their own event.

Mickey breathed in deeply from the backseat of the car as they made their way through New York traffic.

* * *

Ian had grown accustomed to events like this, he’d grown into a comfort of not allowing himself to feel like an outcast when surrounded by dozens of people who simply weren’t from the same lifestyle he was. He’d accepted that none of those snooty people could possibly know the things he and his family had to do to survive. So he’d usually slip into a tux or suit and wear a broad smile until he could come home and be him again. But this night was different. Unlike all those other nights, he was nervous because this was his work and Mickey’s work under the microscope. He sighed heavily as he fiddled with the collar of his suit. The day he’d found out he was nominated for the best thriller/crime series for the National Book Awards he’d gone out and purchased this suit because even if he didn’t win he wanted to do something to celebrate his achievement and tonight was that night. He looked over at his dark grey suit smoothing it over his stomach.

“Ian! You ready?” His little sister’s voice called from the living room. Debbie was the one who flew out to New York with her two-year old daughter Franny to support him as Fiona didn’t feel right about leaving Chicago in any case that Lip would need her.

“Tie? Or no tie?” Ian asked as he stepped out his room. Ties weren’t really his thing. There was something about a suit with a white shirt buttoned down but open just at the top that felt more like him.

“No tie.” Debbie said looking up at him, “You look good. Ready to do this?” He nodded with a nervous smile as he grabbed his phone and keys from the kitchen counter sending a text to Mickey.

“Tell me again why you and Mickey didn’t go to this things together?” She said as she reached back trying to zip her dress all the way up. Ian walked up behind her pulling the zip up before smiling, “Because we want this to be about the work…not about us.”

“Well, it’s going to be about you both anyways.”

“Come on princess let’s go.” Ian cooed as he lifted his niece off the rug.

The drive to the hall wouldn’t have taken as long as it had if it weren’t for typical New Years Eve traffic in the city. Ian shook his legs nervously all the way until they arrived outside the venue. The first thing to catch his eyes was his boyfriend looking as fine as wine. He stood with a cigarette perched between his fingers as his plump pink lips wrapped around the end of the grit. His other hand was clenching and unclenching at his side evidently showing his nerves. The cab pulled over and Debbie, with Franny on her hip, and Ian stepped out. Mickey’s back was now to Ian and he still hadn’t seen him. Ian quickly sauntered over grasping Mickey’s shaking palm in his own while his other arm snaked around Mickey’s waist.

“Hey.” He whispered into Mickey’s neck already feeling the shorter man melt into his touch.

“Hey, I didn’t see you.” Mickey said turning in Ian’s arms. He glanced over across the street out of the habit of not usually being this affectionate in public. But it was New York City and evidently no one gave a fuck.

“I missed you.” Ian said into the crook of his neck. Mickey pulled Ian’s head away from him so he could smack their lips together, “Missed you too.” They separated although their hands still remained intertwined, “Fuck…he look good” Ian almost growled causing Mickey to laugh as he stunned his cigarette out, “Can you believe the outfit is all me? No Mandy?” He smiled proudly.

“You’re not too bad yourself, Red.” Mickey said raking his eyes over Ian. Ian was about to answer Mickey when someone cleared their throat beside them. Ian jumped out of his Mickey haze then laughing, “Right, Mickey this is my little sister Debbie and my niece Franny, they flew in this morning to surprise me, Debbie this is Mickey, my boyfriend.” Ian said proudly.

Debbie smiled as she shook Mickey’s hand, “It’s nice to meet you I’ve heard a lot of about you.” Mickey reached forward trickling Franny’s tummy as he stuck his tongue out to her, the sight melting Ian’s nervous heart.

“So…you ready to go in or what?” Ian asked nervously looking at Mickey. Mickey squeezed Ian’s hand in his own as he nodded his head, “Let’s go.”

* * *

No amount of talking to oneself in the mirror prepared Mickey for the night. When he walked through those doors and was lead to the main hall by an usher, he felt his throat begin to close up and the taste of bile rushing up. He clenched his hand tightly around Ian’s as they walked right into the world that Mickey had created from his own mind. Large canvases hung from the ceiling by nylon making it seem as though they were floating mid-air. People had already filtered in and were marvelling up at the sight. The hall itself was divided into four sections. The first being a corner with three pieces hung high while in a glass case to the centre sat the first book to the series, _Scarlet Thumbprint_.

The first pieces was an oil painting of a broken down part of Mickey and Ian’s old neighbourhood back in Chicago, casted under sombre greys while the pale yellow of crime scene tape was strung between pillars under the L. Almost like a watermark over the entire painting was a read thumbprint. Mickey paid close attention to Ian’s reactions as the redhead gasped at the art. After all this was the first time he was seeing all the pieces completed.

“Champagne, gentlemen?” A waitress asked who was walking through the crowd with a tray above her head. Mickey grabbed two flutes off the tray handing one to Ian. He sipped his letting the bitter fizz flow down his throat, fuck he really hated champagne.

Ian turned his attention then to the second piece. Done solely in charcoal, was the first victim, her hands bound above her head to a wall with a cloth tied between her lips. The killers face close to hers with his lips pressed to her jaw. As sadistic and deeply disturbing the series was this was the kind of work Mickey enjoyed the most simply because it was his avenue to let everything out. He didn’t do therapy like Ian, this was his way of letting out all the evil and vile things he’d grown up with in his father’s presence. The last painting for the novel was the one that had sent chills through the pair’s bodies the very first night they’d met, the canvas was covered in dark hues of red acrylics that stood out amongst the dark greys and blacks. The same limp body still chained to the basement wall was smeared in bright red blood that trickled down onto the ground, all framed in the iris of the killer eyes one blue and one green undoubtedly Mickey and Ian’s eyes.

“Is that?” Ian asked pointing to the painting.

“Yeah…it’s sick as fuck but I wanted to put a little bit of you…and me in it.” Mickey blushed Ian dipped his head placing a kiss to the side of Mickey’s neck.

“You’re so fucking talented.”

“Come on, Let’s go check exhibit two.” Mickey smiled waving Ian over. He had this giddy, excited smile on his face that was igniting Ian.1 This exhibit had a much similar set up at the first only the centre piece was much larger than two at its side. The old fading beige skull sat on red silk scarf, as remnants of the rotting flesh still hung from the bone. The red scarf faded into a black vignette. The other two were sketches looking slightly like rough ideas but still leaving a lasting impression. In the second novel the serial killer had become far more meticulous in the ways he executed his crimes. The sketch to the left was like those in a biology text book of the human body. The woman standing didn’t have a blank expression like the text books however, she had a cloth tied over her mouth setting the mood that this wasn’t any anatomy poster while arrows and little notes surrounded her mapping out all the pain receptors in the body and where would cause the most pain.

“Holy shit Mickey, this is not what we had planned for this.” Ian said.

“No, but I read over the book while I was doing the pieces and this idea just kinda stuck out to me. I…shit did I fuck up?”

“Are you mad? This is fucking incredible. How the hell did you think of that?”

The last sketch was the one giving the title of the book. It was a broken dirty bathroom mirror that fogged up. The words written into the fog, _Crimson Pain._

The last exhibit was the one that was the well awaited reveal to Ian’s last book the entire thing was cordoned off by a black cloth curtain. Alex approached Ian then and whispered in his ear. Ian squeezed Mickey’s hand in his own and then kissed his cheek, “I’ll be right back.” Ian then let go his hand and the flittered away behind Alex. Mickey stood amongst the crowd unlike it was his exhibit and watched as Ian climbed the small stage set between the third and fourth exhibits. Mickey’s eyebrows climbed as he watched his boyfriend walk up to the podium and nervously tap the microphone.

He cleared his throat before speaking up, “Goodnight everyone, and welcome to the Paint Me In Blood Series Exhibit And Reveal. I’d like to thank you all for putting your New Years Eve plans on hold to attend this tonight. I know this event was supposed to take place before Christmas but due to unforeseen circumstances, and a family emergency I could not carry through. Family comes first right?” He nervously laughed, “anyways, nonetheless we are here tonight and I’d like to thank you for your support because if you didn’t support this series I would not be able to announce my nomination for the best thriller/crime series for the National Book Awards come this January.” The crowd erupted into the cheers and a few hollers.

“This exhibit has brought me to a really important place in my life, one where I get to reveal my nomination, reveal my last book of the series and to lastly tell the world about the wonderful man this exhibit brought me.”

Mickey was not expecting this, in fact he could feel his ears and his neck get hot as the red blush creeped up. Ian locked eyes with his smiling wide as he searched Mickey’s eyes for confirmation to carry on. As much as Mickey wasn’t one for public declarations of….whatever they had he really wanted to hear what Ian was about to say.

“I stepped in to Harvey and Beck a month ago looking for an artist who could bring these books to life in a way that hadn’t been done before. And I’m sure you can all agree from what we’ve seen so far the artist responsible has done an astonishing job. But not only has he won or creative minds over. He’s kind of won over my heart.” Ian blushes as some people awed, “I’d like to say thank you Mickey, for doing this project with me, I am so proud of what you’ve done, I won’t even begin to take a little credit for the books because this is all you. You walked into my life and I don’t think it will ever be the same again. So without further ado I’d like to ask you to come up here and help me reveal the last exhibit.”

Mickey continued blushing as the crowd parted for him to make his way toward Ian. When he got onto the stage, Ian placed his hand on the small of his back and Mickey felt like Ian’s hand was on fire there. Ian bent kissing the spot beneath Mickey’s ear as he turned back to the mic, “I haven’t seen the last exhibit or anything from it yet either so I’m seeing this with you for the first time. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the third and final instalment of the Paint me In Blood series, _Tastes Like Rust._

The black cloth was reeled away to the sides revealing the three pieces strung up. The three pieces were successively lined up as they all displayed three different poses of the killers lips; one with a sly smirk, one with his finger swiping his bottom lip and lastly one licking a knife, all with his lips smeared with dripping red blood against his perfectly pale skin. As Ian’s eyes raked over the paintings he glanced down at Mickey who had his bottom lip snagged between his teeth as the crowd gave an applause. Ian glanced back to the painting and then to Mickey. Those lips were undoubtedly Mickey’s.

“You Like?” Mickey asked without looking up at Ian. Ian bent his head so the mic won’t pick his voice up, “You sneaky fucker, do you know how much those three paintings are turning me on? Your lips huh?”

“Thought that even if this doesn’t last, at least you won’t forget me.” Mickey said and Ian would usually think Mickey was joking and just giving him shit for it but he could see the seriousness in Mickey’s eyes when he didn’t look at him.

“Never. I’ll never be able to forget you.” Alex then nudged Ian’s elbow bringing him back to earth. Ian turned a little baffled and then composed himself before smiling, “I hope you all enjoy the new book as well as the rest of the night.” He made a move to leave the stage but then Mickey was wrapping his hand around his wrists as the brunette man stepped up to the podium.

“Uh…goodnight” he said smiling tight lipped. “Tastes Like Rust is the third exhibit but it’s isn’t the last. To my left, your right, there is a much smaller exhibit that showcases some of my other work and free lance stuff, feel free to check it out and have a good night.” Mickey said before stepping off the podium with Ian.

“You put up other work?”

“Yeah…Alex thought it’ll be a good idea. You uh…wanna go take a look?”

“Of course I wanna go look. But…Uhm maybe you wanna go like to bathroom with me for a bit.” Ian said nervously.

“No Ian we’re not fucking in the bathroom.” Mickey deadpanned.

“Not to fuck…I kinda really wanna kiss you, Mick.” Ian blushed.

“Why the fuck we gotta go to the bathroom then?” Mickey asked as he grabbed Ian by the neck and smashed their lips together. It was hungry and passionate. “If you wanna kiss me, just kiss me.” Mickey said when they eventually pulled back.

“Even when you’re mad?” Ian laughed.

“Especially when I’m mad.” Mickey teased back as he held Ian’s had leading him to the other exhibit.

* * *

The last but certainly not least of the exhibits were through a big archway that separated the hall into two. Providing that Ian had no clue at all that the last exhibit even existed catered for him being as excited and giddy as he was feeling. If it was something he’d come to notice about his relationship with Mickey was that he was extremely turned on and in love with how passionate and talented Mickey was. So of course he’d be excited to see what his boyfriend had prepared for the public to see. He hadn’t expected it to be of this calibre though. Mickey had already been so busy with the pieces for his books that he wasn’t expecting to see a series of high hung large canvases like the ones of the previous exhibit. Sure he didn’t know if these were works Mickey had done before but it still opened his eyes to how hardworking Mickey really was. The first painting was so unlike Mickey and so unlike the woman in it that Ian found himself drawn and captivated by the art. In a spring meadow, surrounded by varying shades of pastel pinks and greens, vines of tiny purple flowers stood a couple. The woman stood with her back against the man’s chest as she leaned into him. Her dark black hair contrasting beautifully with the pale spring hues. The two people in the picture were unmistakeably Mandy and Josh depicted as elves with pointed ears and flawless pale skin. Ian glanced over to the couple beside them to see Mandy with tears in her eyes as she smiled up at Josh.

Mickey Milkovich has a way of leaving people speechless.

The second was a painting of a blue shattered mirror with red rose vines growing through the cracks giving a delicate beauty amongst sharp shards of glass.

The third canvas was a huge sketch that damn near knocked the breath out of Ian.

The picture he had hung up in his apartment, with him and all his siblings and his niece and the little rat looking dog Fiona had, had been transferred into stains of charcoal sketched against the canvas cloth. Tears prickled Ian’s eyes as he took in the large portrait of his family. Mickey hadn’t met any of them well apart from Debbie and Franny but he still brought them all to life so realistically that he felt like they were all standing there in the room. He looked toward Mickey to see him looking at him with earnest blue eyes searching.

“I wanted to bring them because I knew you said they might not be able to make it.”

“Mick…” Ian whispered as he wrapped an arm around Mickey and kissed the side of his head.

“Don’t go ruining your makeup just yet, Gingerballs I got one last thing to show you. They rounded the corner to the last painting and Ian automatically felt a rush of heat creep up his neck and flush his face while his knees went a little weak. It wasn’t at all embarrassment it was something else that Ian didn’t have a word for but it wasn’t bad at all. In a 100 square foot canvas was an oil painting of Ian, sleeping soundly in bed with cream sheets bunched around his waist while his freckled pale skin shone under a morning sunrise. Rays of gold glowing into his orange hair. Ian hid his face in the crook of Mickey’s neck when he noticed everyone in the hall looking at him. “Are you embarrassed?” Mickey asked.

“No…it’s really nice. I love it…is that in Jersey?” Ian asked with his breath tickling the side of Mickey’s neck.

He could feel Mickey chuckling as it rumbled through his chest and neck. “You’re fucking cute when you blush.” Mickey whispered.

“You two are like fucking Romeo and Juliet.” Mandy’s voice laughed as she came closer. Ian pulled back as he turned to face her. “It’s really beautiful Mick. Josh and I want that one at our wedding.” She said pointing to the portrait of them.

“That can be arranged.” Mickey said blushing himself at his sister’s praise.

“Mr Milkovich.” A voice greeted causing both Mickey and Ian to turn only to have gasps escape their lips at the sight of a grey haired Stephen King flanked by two security guards and an assistant. “I must commend you, exquisite work. Both the professional and more…personal pieces. I can tell you have a certain kind of intimacy with your work and I think it’s beautiful. Thank you for your invite.”

“Thank you for coming, Sir. It’s an honour to meet you.” Mickey said trying his best to keep his voice steady but Ian could hear the quiver.

“And Mr Gallagher. I’ve heard great things from Blane about you. I’m looking forward to reading your new addition to the series. It’s has been a favourite series of mine.” He smiled and Ian could feel his heart in his throat as he shook Stephen - _freaking_ \- King’s hand.

“I do apologise for having to leave this early but I must get to my other obligations. Thank you and it was lovely meeting you.”

“Likewise.” Ian said and Mickey smiled before shaking the man’s hand again and thanking him for coming.

When he walked away with his entourage Mickey turned in Ian’s direction, “We just met Stephen Fucking King and I’m still alive. How did I keep so fucking cool?” Mickey asked. Ian could only laugh with him as he was finding it hard to find words himself. He wrapped his arms around Mickey bringing him in close and kissing his cheek. He put his head on Mickey’s shoulder as he squeezed his eyes shot enjoying the feeling of being wrapped up in Mickey. When he opened his eyes the last thing he expected to see what Connor standing across the room with his arms crossed and a death glare on his face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. What do you guys think will happen? Will Ian be able to let go the anger he feels toward Connor?


	20. Ruin Your Reputation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm Sorry I Punched Your Ex "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry for the wait. Had a lot of shit going on, not doing so well health wise as well as I still have midterms going on.
> 
> Thanks for all the support and I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I'm still not sure how long this will be but the end is near. I have a couple things planned for the boys (a trip being one of those things) and then I think I will start wrapping it up. So enjoy and let me know what you think.

As quickly as he saw him, Connor was turning and heading out of the hall with an angry look on his his face. Ian knows that he should let it go, but he can’t. He should just let Connor walk out of their lives stewing in his anger but a small part of Ian knew that if he did do something now the guy would just show up again. Who did this guy really think he is showing up out of the blue like that? This guy kissed Mickey like if he’d owned him, like if Mickey was a piece of property with no say of his own. Ian unwrapped his arms from around Mickey looking down to him, “Hey, I just saw someone I think I know, I’m gonna try and catch them okay?” He said trying his best to hide what the quiver in his voice could so evidently give away. Mickey looked him over with concerned eyes before smiling softly as saying okay, “I think the lady in the purple has been following us for an interview for like the longest while anyways so I’ll go get that over with.”

“You’ll do great.” Ian said kissing his boyfriends cheek before pushing through the crowd to follow behind Connor. He made it about twenty feet away hurriedly before there was a grasp on his shoulder, he turned around to see Mandy hot on his heels and a menacing but knowing look in her eyes. “You can’t talk me out of it Mandy.” Is all he said before turning back and heading out of the hall. Mandy stayed on his step as she caught up.

“I’m not stopping you, Ian. I want part of it.” Is all she said as they followed the retreating figure down the busy street of New York. They caught up quickly, after all they knew how to chase and be chased after living in the neighbourhood they grew up in.

“You gonna kept running?!? Fucking pussy.” Mandy called out tauntingly. As much as Ian would give her shit for quickly slipping back into her a Southsidian ways he was glad her jeering did the trick. Connor abruptly stopped and turned on his heels to show the fire in his eyes and his clenched fists at his side.

“You think this is the end of it? Huh? It really isn’t. He’s known you like what? A Month? He’s not willing to give up what we had for three years. He can’t. I guess that’s why he showed up at my hotel room that night right?” Connor said coming a few steps closer, noticing the way Ian winced at the mention of that night, unaware that Ian knows and that his anger is just growing, “He didn’t tell you about that did he? That he showed up, pushed me against my wall, and started licking into my mouth, grabbing my cock. He didn’t tell you that did -” his words were quickly cut off by the cracking sound of Ian’s knuckles against his jaw sending him flying down onto the pavement as he gripped his face. The hard blow caused the skin to split against his jaw bone leaking blood onto his white shirt. Ian stepped up to him hunching over still wearing his menacing and deadly look. A look he’d perfected in ROTC training as a teenager.

He let out a cynical laugh that evidently sent chills down Connor’s spine if the way he shivered was anything to go by, “You see, he did tell me. You just made the mistake of messing with the wrong South side people. I knew the truth before you spewed your lies so it ain’t gonna work on me. Stay the fuck away from him …and me.” Ian said.

He hadn’t expected the asshole to laugh back in his face while he clutched at his jaw. Ian stepped off him looking down at him, “I read up on you. The poor South side kid who got his big break. They left out the part about you being a crazy shit though. But I got my ways of finding out shit. You don’t think one day he’s gonna wake up and realize he doesn’t need your batshit crazy ass, he’ll come back to me then, he’ll come back to me and my easy going stable life. You’re never gonna be enough for him.” Ian was about to lounge forward again but he stopped as Mandy came into his sight. Her leg was closing the distance with Connor now letting heel crash into his nose. She knelt down beside him as he was now clinging to the gushing red nose, “Listen, you and I we had a deal. I told you to get out of here and stay the fuck away from Mickey. You didn’t listen. I warned you…didn’t I?”

“You’re all just big talk.”

Mandy laughed as she looked done at him as he pathetically tilted his head back to stop the bleeding. “No, Connor. You know, you’re a really good photographer, so good even Vogue has been scouting you? Would be a shame if you send in that portfolio they requested and you send in the “wrong” one huh?” Mandy asked using air quotations over wrong.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asked with eyes wide open.

“Hmm I don’t know, it’d be a shame if kiddie porn ended up in your portfolio instead, ruin your reputation? You sure as shit know I’m a resourceful girl, so I’m gonna send those pictures over and maybe you could stay here chasing Mickey since you won’t have a Paris job to get back to.”

“NO… please don’t! fine! I’ll leave your brother alone but please don’t send them don’t do that to me. I’ve worked really hard to get where I am”

“You wouldn’t be where you are if Mickey hadn’t helped and pushed you to do the thing you love. You owe it to him to leave him the fuck a long and make something of yourself, so at least the pain you put him through wouldn’t be in vain.”

“Ok! Ok, I’ll leave. I’m sorry.” He clutched his nose breathing in deeply before he spoke again, “I love him you know? I fucked up and I missed him. But I do love him.” Connor said directing his words toward Ian, “ and I know you know what that feeling is like. I see the way you look at him. Difference is, he looks at you like that too, he’s never looked at me like that. And I guess that’s why I did what I did. I knew I’d never be what he wanted. I still hoped though.” He was pathetic and Ian couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. Loving a man like Mickey Milkovich can be reckless and destructive. Ian could see that. You could be so fully consumed by him and his beauty that you could destroy yourself in the process but Ian also saw it on the other side. Loving a man like Mickey Milkovich could be one of the most awakening and beautiful things that most people don’t get to experience in their lifetimes.

He reached his hand out to the man laying on the sidewalk. Connor skeptically took his hand and pushed off the ground until he was standing. Ian reaching into his jacket pocket and handed over his handkerchief, “You should get your nose checked.” Ian said as he turned and walked away back to the hall a couple buildings down. Mandy running behind him to catch up.

Sure he was glad Connor had decided to leave Mickey alone but it still didn’t help his words from before from circling Ian’s head. Maybe he was right. Maybe one day Mickey would wake up and realize that he couldn’t handle or didn’t have to handle with Ian and his crazy shit. Maybe he shouldn’t even wait to get so deep into it. Maybe he should cut Mickey loose of that burden before it gets to difficult for him to breathe the day Mickey actually decides to walk out. He knew that one day his meds might not work as well as they do, but what then should he expect Mickey to do if he woke up and Ian was either bouncing off the walls doing crazy shit or he was so sad he became catatonic. He couldn’t expect Mickey to want to stay around for that? He couldn’t blame him for wanting to leave.

When he got back to the hall he really started regretting not having a bar. He grabbed a flute of champagne off a waiters tray and downed its contents before running his hands down his face. He shouldn’t have more. He knows that so he quickly pushes through the crowd of people admiring Mickey’s art. The sweat on the back of his neck was starting to make the collar of his jacket itch against his skin despite being out in the snowy streets minutes before. He pushed through until he sees the bathroom sign. When he gets there he’s thankful it’s empty. He pushes the door closed as he breathes out heavily. He hunches over the sink attempting to steady his breath. He splashed cold water in his face to steady himself.

Who was he kidding? Of course Connor is right. People like Ian don’t get happy. Things go to shit with them no matter what. His genes guaranteed that. Sure Mickey knows but hearing about it is different from seeing it. He’s stable and on his medication but it’s isn’t always going to be this way. Something’s gonna give and Ian knows it could be at any given time. The bathroom door jerks open and he’s ready to shout at whoever it is but when he looks up and he sees those big blue eyes filled with care and something that Ian thinks resembles love his breathing steadies itself.

He’s seen that look he can’t be crazy to think he’s imagining that look. He’s seen that look in the one person’s eyes, the one person who he knows he can place his head on a block and claim she loves him and know he’ll survive. Fiona. She looks at him with the same worried, loving look and he thinks he can’t be imaging in it. Maybe Mickey won’t walk out.

“Ian? Are you okay?” Mickey asks as he steps closer his voice thick with worry, “your breathing is shit man.” His eyes go down to Ian’s bruised bloody knuckles then back up to his face.

“Don’t…don’t come closer.” Ian managed to croak out and he doesn’t miss the hint of hurt that flickers in those blue eyes as he hold his hand up. It’s better if he hurts him now than it’s gets too late. “He’s right, you know? Connor.”

“Ian…you can’t be listening to him.”

“No…he’s right. Who was I to kid myself and think I could have a normal relationship? He’s right. You’re going to wake up one day next to me and when I can’t get out of bed and I’m yelling at you to leave me the fuck alone because the sadness I feel is too much to even breathe, you’re going to realize you don’t need this and you don’t have to stay. You might as well leave now, Mickey. I’m never going to be able to be fixed. You can’t fix me.” He turned then to face the sink and closing his eyes willing the tears that were flowing down his face to stop.

He hadn’t expected warm arms to wrap around his waste tightly, or Mickey’s face to bury itself in between his shoulder blades. He didn’t say anything for a while, he just held Ian. “Turn around.” Mickey whispered as he loosened his grip around Ian. “Turn around, Ian.”

Ian reluctantly turned around sitting back onto the sink. “Look at me.” Mickeys voice sounded so strong and so sure, “hey, come on, look at me.” Ian looked up into those blue eyes, “I’m not going anywhere. That’s sounds crazy I know because we’re so early into this, but Ian. I…You’re not crazy, you’ve got your shit, trust me I’ve got mine. I am in no place to judge anyone. There are nights when I wake up in a pool of my own sweat thinking it’s my own blood I’m lying in because my dad finally catches up and killed me, and then I don’t go to work for about a week after because I’m scared he knows I’m in New York. We’ve all got our shit, I ain’t walking away because you’re not perfect because neither of us are. Fuck Connor and his opinions. He fucking cheated on me Ian. He doesn’t get to tell you shit about your brain. I really fucking like you. I might even feel more than that. So please don’t walk away because of this. This is something we can handle. Let me make my own choice to stay with you, don’t take that choice away from me. If it’s that you don’t want me then I’ll go but if it’s…”

“I want you, Mickey. I’m scared I hurt you.”

“I’m a big boy. I can handle myself.”

“Fuck…I’m sorry, I get worked up and I can’t think straight and I… fuck I drank like two flutes more of champagne than I should have.”

“Come on, Let’s go, we’re going back to Mandy’s to ring in the new year together, if you want we can talk about this more whenever you want but I’m not letting you just leave. Your sister and niece are in the city and my sister is here with her fucking fiancé and were all healthy and happy so let’s enjoy it. Fuck Connor. He’s old news.” Mickey said placing his forehead against Ian’s.

“Why are you so good to me?” Ian whispered against Mickey’s lips.

“Because I really _really_ like you.”

“I really _really_ like you too, I’m sorry if I ruined things. And I’m sorry I punched your ex.”

“I’m not sorry your punched that motherfucker. I’m sorry you fucked up your hand though…that’s the hand your use to stretch me out…what am I supposed to do? Do it myself now?” Mickey teased trying his best to make Ian laugh. It worked because soon Ian was laughing that melodies tune, “Well seeing as I do all the work, you can help out from time to time.”

“Fuck you _, you do all the work_. Last time I checked last night you were just laying there while I rode you. I do a lot of work.” Mickey grumbled causing Ian to laugh as he kissed Mickey’s own smile. “Guess you’ll just have to prove it to you.”

“Sure…Once you don’t get whiskey dick.” Mickey said with a chuckle in his voice.

“Let’s get out of here then.” Mickey pecked Ian’s lips and then circled his arms tightly around the redhead.

“You know, out of the two of us…I thought it would be me to freak out first.” Mickey said.

“Me too.” Ian laughed.

“Fuck off.” They then made their way out the bathroom to meet Mandy, Josh and Debbie with Franny on her hip waiting for them

“Are you okay?” Mandy asked rubbing his shoulder up and down.

He hugged her tightly, “Yeah…Let’s get out of here.”

The six of them then left for Mandy’s apartment with the promise that Alex and Violet would meet them there as soon as the exhibit closed.

Ian clutched Mickey’s hand tightly with his unbruised one while Mickey soothing ran his fingers lightly with his free hand. Ever so often while they sat in the back seat Mickey would lean over to kiss Ian’s jaw, or neck or if he timed it well enough Ian would turn and meet his lips.


	21. Ian, The Hopeless But Cynical Romantic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys spend their first Valentine's Day together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends. Hope you like this update. This was one of those chapters where I had the entire thing written and ready to edit and then a new idea hit me and I wrote something completely different to what I had planned. So what I had written for chapter 21 will be chapter 22. 
> 
> Also when I started this idea for this fic it was with all intention of posting before Christmas and then following the major events; Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day etc with real life time. But life got the better of me so here is a V-Day chapter in the kid middle of March. 
> 
> Enjoy :) kudos and comments always appreciated. Sorry this update took so long.

Ian was a hopeless romantic who didn’t trust easily, if that made any sense at all. He wasn’t naïve but he did always hope for the best and that love would prevail in the end…that’s if it exists. So I guess you could say he was a cynical hopeless romantic? Growing up the way he did, with the parents he had (or didn’t have if their absence was to be counted) he always thought love was destructive. He’d seen it with his own father. Frank had whole heartedly loved Monica. He’d give his dying breath for that woman but her love for freedom and the thrill of mania was what prevailed…every single time. Ian would tell himself when he was younger that maybe love didn’t exist. He’d see his older sister face heartbreak after heartbreak as guys would come and go at their doorstep. He’d watched his older brother break more hearts than probably necessary in his teen and adult years, but those weren’t the reasons he thought love didn’t exist.

Love didn’t exist simply because he hadn’t felt it. He hadn’t felt that all consuming, bone deep love you heard about. That standing in the pouring rain professing this loud declaration and promise of forever kind of love. From the moment he realized that he preferred guys over girls that had eternally sealed the deal that he’d never find love, especially on the Southside. But then things happened. He moved to New York. A place where countless people lived freely indulging in who they really are and what their heart desired. He lived with Jackson and his wife, he’d seen their love for each other and it wasn’t the same destructive love his parents had. When he stepped into the world and he saw what she had to offer he started to think that maybe love just didn’t exist on the Southside.

He started to yearn for something he wasn’t aware he wanted. He basked in the romantics of New York City. The art that made your heart break, the songs that made you feel like you were missing someone you never had, the novels that had you thinking up heartbreak that you never actually lived. And every time February 14th rolled around every year, despite not having someone for himself, his heart fluttered with the aura that city emanated. It made him want to find love. It made him want to feel loved. And when February 12th, 2019 came and the sun beamed through the open blinds of his boyfriend’s studio apartment, and he turned his face nuzzling into black soft hair, he thought that February 14th would be different this year.

“Mickey….” He whispered earning himself a soft grunt from his boyfriend as the brunette buried his face deeper into his pillow. “Mick.”

“M’sleeping.” Mickey mumbled before scooting closer into Ian’s chest.

Ian lay soft kisses to Mickey’s head before turning his head to reach his cheek, “You have work, Mick.”

Mickey groaned as he kicked a leg out resembling that of a child’s tantrum. “Five more minutes.”

Ian lay quietly holding Mickey for the next five minutes while he looked out through the slate of the blinds at the New York morning. When five minutes passed Mickey began stirring tilting his head up to kiss at Ian’s throat. “Morning” He rasped with his sleep heavy voice.

“You’re gonna be late if you don’t get into the bathroom now.” Ian said as he untangled himself from Mickey. He kissed his boyfriend’s pouting lips before scooting off the bed and heading into the bathroom. He pissed, took his medication and showered and by the time he came back out Mickey had fallen back asleep with the sheets barely covering his ass. Ian smiled as he walked over smacking the two globes of flesh gently, “Get up. You have that meeting in like forty minutes with Blane. I’ll get the coffee started.” Ian said watching as his man slowly climbed out the bed and trudged his naked body into the bathroom.

By the time Mickey had come back out looking like he’d rejoined the land of the living Ian had breakfast waiting. “You’re so good to me.” Mickey mumbles as he reached up pecking Ian’s lips before starting to devour his breakfast. “Are we having lunch today?”

“Uhm…Mandy wanted me to meet her to help with some wedding planning. You can join us if you want.”

“Fuck no. I’d rather sit in my office and eat shit from the vending machine instead of listening to Bridezilla talk about what colour she wants the napkins to be.” Ian laughed as Mickey feigned a shudder and then carried on eating.

“Thought you might say that. Here…I made you lunch.” Ian said placed the wrapped sandwich in front Mickey. Mickey looked at him meeting his eyes and Ian knew he had a big beaming smile on, “You’re a little romantic shit you know that?”

“I do. Come one let’s go or we’ll be late.”

“Did you eat?” Mickey asked as he slipped down from the counter stool.

“Yeah, while you were in the shower. Look my plates right there in the sink. Figured I made breakfast you could deal with the dishes when you get back.” Ian said sticking his tongue out.

* * *

He always had these wild ideas of romantic gestures or what he’d do when he eventually got a boyfriend. But what did you do when the guy you were with just simply weren’t into those kind of things or maybe he was? After all it was Mickey who had made their Christmas as special as it was. Ian was perfectly content with just spending the night in Mickey’s presence but he wanted to pay homage to what they had. But the cynical part of him thought that whatever grand gesture he made would freak Mickey out and send him running for the hills. But he thought that he couldn’t think of anyone more deserving of being showered with love and adoration. The sharp blow to his shin was what brought him out his infinite loop of thought and back to the lunch he was currently having opposite a seemingly fuming Mandy.

“Asshole. I’ve been yammering on for the past twenty minutes about table cloths and napkins and you didn’t hear one fucking word I said. What the hell are you thinking of?”

“Sorry.” Ian quickly apologized, “I was in my head. I didn’t mean to zone out on you.” Her face softened at his sincerity as she titled her head to the left. “Is everything okay? You and Mickey have a fight or something?”

“What? No. We’re good.” Ian shook off as he lifted his fork to scoop some chicken Alfredo into his mouth.

“Evidently something is up. I’m not continuing until you tell me what. Because I’m not gonna start back up only for you to go to Mickey Land again. Tell me.”

“Uh…it’s just Valentine’s Day is coming up and I…wanna do something special but at the same time I don’t know how Mickey would react.” Mandy giggled causing Ian to look up into her eyes.

“Okay that’s really cute. And he may be a little overwhelmed at first but I think he’d be okay. What’s your plan?”

“Uh…I was just gonna cook us dinner and you know…make the apartment nice and shit.”

“That’s a safe way to go. For future references don’t go too much out of the way. He’ll clam up and then y’all might fight. Plus all this shit is new to him too.”

“He was in a three year relationship Mandy.”

“Yeah…with a complete asshole. Let me see if I can remember, Josh and I spent our last Valentine’s Day on his dad’s yacht. Mickey and Connor’s last v-day was spent with Mickey working at the youth centre until like seven and coming home to find out Connor had fucked off to some Basketball game with his guys. Which probably meant he spent Valentine’s Day with his side piece.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah…Mickey told everyone that it didn’t matter and he didn’t care for the holiday anyway but I could tell it bothered him. So maybe making his Valentine’s Day special would be good for him. But I also know my brother is a pretty simple guy and he’ll be perfectly content as long as you spend the time with him.”

Ian thought her words over nodding his head, “Okay, make it special but not too gay.”

“Exactly. Now…can we get back to the topic at hand?”

“Sure Mands. What about table cloths?”

* * *

_**Ian** : Are you working at the youth centre on Thursday?_

_**Mickey** : Not sure yet. Y?_

_**Ian** : Uhm just wondering. I’m home. You coming over? Or you want me to come to your place?_

_**Mickey** : Yours. I’m five minutes away._

_**Ian** : Can’t Wait to see you babe._

_**Mickey** : Don’t call me that._

The truth was it’s sent chills down his skin when Ian called him babe. Another truth? Mickey was supposed to work at the youth centre on Thursday but he had already told the class he might not be there in hopes that maybe his boyfriend had planned something. Mickey was not a hopeless romantic. He wasn’t into the pink hearts or flowers and shit. Some good food and a good fuck would be better than anything he ever had before. But he knew Ian. And he figured by now that Ian was all into the romantic shit if Ian’s reaction to Christmas was anything to go by. Mickey actually enjoyed doing that because it was for Ian but any other guy and he wouldn’t have given two shits.

He punched the elevator call button as he got into the lobby and waited. Maybe Ian was asking because he had plans. When he knocked on the door he heard his boyfriend shuffle on the other side before the door swung open. Arms were instantly wrapped around his waist pulling him in and a warm wet mouth pressed against his own. “Barely saw you at work today.” Ian rasped, “Missed you.”

“Miss you too.” Mickey said licking into Ian’s mouth slowly as kicked the door shut behind him. He was all but ready to take this shit further but the loud growl of his stomach made them both pull away laughing.

“Guess What I got you?” Ian sang as he kissed at Mickey’s neck.

“What?”

“McDonald’s”

“Fuck Yes!” Mickey moaned causing them both to bump their foreheads while they burst into another fit of laughter.

When they both settled on the opposite ends of the couch with their feet beside each other as their back leaned into the armrests they ate while stealing glances and smiles. Mickey rubbed his toe against Ian’s side as he psyched up the nerve to ask Ian what he wanted to.

“So…uh.” Mickey looked down at his quarter pounder and then back up at Ian. “Why’d you ask about Thursday?”

Ian swallows carefully as he shrugged, “Just thought you could take the night off from the centre and we couldn’t spend it together. That’s all.”

Mickey smiled because just spending the night with Ian, was enough. “Yeah…I could do that.”

“Okay. What do you want for dinner then?”

“Doesn’t matter…actually... you know that Stroganoff you make? I uh wouldn’t mind that.”

Ian smiled at his nervous boyfriend, “I could do that.” Mickey could feel the red heat creeping up his neck as he picked up his burger to continue eating. Fuck why was he getting this nervous. He’d been with Ian for months now. They were more than comfortable with each other. Maybe it was the idea that this was his first Valentine’s Day he was spending with someone he truly cared about and might even loved.

* * *

_** February 14th, 2019 ** _

Mickey was having a really good dream. He had a fire growing in the pit of his stomach as his chest rose and fell with every heavy breath he took. The warm wetness engulfed him deeper and deeper. It felt too fucking real to be a dream. The two hands rubbing up his sides and then back down to grip as his hipbones holding him down was what started to bring him back to the land of the living. He was suddenly aware of the soft warmth of the morning sun bathing his bare torso. The linen sheets beneath him beginning to feel damp with sweat. The wet sounds coming from less than a meter away. His tattooed hand trailed down his own stomach until it carded through soft morning curls that was certainly getting longer. His blue eyes fluttered open as a moan escaped his own lips to see his fingers laced through the red hair of his boyfriend who was going to town on his dick. Ian’s head bobbed up and down as he focused on his task at hand, so into it he could barely feel his boyfriend had awoken and was playing with his hair.

“Ian…” Mickey moaned causing green eyes to open and meet blue blown out pupils. “Fuck.” Ian pulled off with a pop then stuck his tongue out lapping at the precum beading at the slit.

“Mmm.” He moaned before wrapping his lips around the head again. Mickey was so fucking gone he barely could recognize that Ian began prepping him, slowly moving his fingers in and out of his puckered hole. He let his eyes fall closed and basked in the feeling of his boyfriend all over him. Ian began peppering kisses against Mickey’s shaft then hipbones, around his navel, up his sternum and then jaw his cheek and lastly his lips where he let his tongue slide against the older man’s while his hand grasped around the sheets for the condom he’d placed there. When Ian grabbed the foil wrapper and pulled his lips away to bite into the packaging, Mickey’s hands came up holding his wrist and taking the condom out of his hand.

At first Ian thought that Mickey was going to help him out like he sometimes did but when Mickey bit into his bottom lip in hesitation he could tell he wanted to ask something.

Mickey wasn’t sure if Ian would be open to it, but they’d been together for months now and they both got tested regularly and neither had any other partner so he bit the bullet and locked his eyes onto Ian’s, “You wanna go without it?” Mickey asked a small voice suddenly feeling so much more vulnerable. Ian surged forward licking Mickey’s lips before he kissed hungrily before nodding. Mickey reached between them gripping Ian’s length and lining him up. Ian hid his face in Mickey’s neck as he pushed in and waited for the shorter man to adjust, “Fuck…so good. So good, baby.” He whispered against Mickey’s lips before picking up his relenting pace. Mickey was so close from since Ian had been blowing him and he could feel Ian throbbing within him. A feeling he hadn’t felt before. He could tell Ian was near and thank fuck because so was he. There wasn’t anything holding them from each other, this was probably as close to each other as they probably were ever going to get.

Mickey could feel the blood rushing away from his head as his body lingered close to the edge just waiting for that final thing to push him over. This is how they belonged, wrapped up in each other basking in the others feel and scent and taste. Ian’s hips stuttered as he pushed deep into Mickey stilling his hips as the tip of his dick nudged one last time into Mickey’s prostate before they were both falling over the edge, trembling against each other. Mickey moaning louder than he ever had as hot white liquid spurt over his stomach endlessly. Mickey’s head felt light as his eyes stayed close while he felt Ian ease his way out him and move off the bed. There was a warm damp feeling as Ian wiped at his stomach and then lifted his legs to wipe between his legs. He couldn’t fathom….anything at this point. The bed sprung back up as he felt Ian leave the room again before the mattress dipped once more. Soft kisses were being pressed to his stomach. He could faintly hear Ian whispering something about _so soft_. There was a kiss to his rib, the middle of his chest. He could feel Ian’s heat ease over him as Ian lay a open mouthed kiss to his collar bone.

Mickey was so blissed our despite being aware of everything around him. He felt like his orgasm sent in into another dimension and he was having some kind of weird out of body experience. “Mickeeyyyy.” Ian sang in his ear as he picked the lobe into his mouth to suck.

“Are you alive?” Ian asked with a chuckle in his voice. “Babe, are you okay?” He finally gathered up the energy to open his eyes letting them flutter open to welcome the morning light once again.

He groaned at the soreness in his ass and at the soft kisses being placed around his face. “Mick.” Ian whispered, his face hovering over Mickey’s, the corners of his lips pulled up in a content smile. “I thought you passed out from how hard you came.” He continued whispering like it was some secret.

“I thought I did too.” Mickey chuckled. Ian bent his head down taking Mickey’s lips in between his own and kissing him tenderly and lovingly, “Mick?”

“Mm?” Mickey let his eyes fall closed again feeling Ian’s lips so close to his own he puckered his lips pecking Ian’s and then smiled. He liked being this close to Ian.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mick.” Ian said looking at his boyfriend’s happy smile and feeling his heart swell at the sight.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Babe.” Mickey whispered sleepily unaware of how the pet name made Ian feel like his heart was about to explode.

* * *

The words on his screen were starting blur and his eyes were starting to drop closed. He clicked out of the open document in his laptop and looked over at his desk to see what needed some of his attention. He was in the middle of reading through some of the new material the company were looking into publishing when a small knock on his door drew his attention away from his work. He looked up to see his boyfriend standing with a small smile and a cup of coffee. “Hey.”

“Hey. You going for lunch now?”

“Yeah, thought I’d check if you wanted to go.” Mickey said placing the cup of coffee down on the table, “but then I remember you saying you’re staying in for lunch.”

“Yeah…I wanna leave early. Got some stuff I gotta do.” Ian said, “you going home with me when I’m leaving?” Ian asked to seem normal although he was hoping his boyfriend declined the offer.

“Nah. Got some shit I wanna finish up today. I’ll be at you place like around seven.”

“Okay. Go have lunch.” Ian said smiling as his boyfriend reached across the desk and pecked his lips. “And can you tell Alex to come in on your way out?”

“Yeah, See ya.”

Alex came sauntering into Ian’s office with his messenger bag across his chest and a tired look on his face, “Lunch with Violet?” Ian asked.

“Yeah. What’s up? Please tell me you aren’t keep me here during my lunch hour.” Alex deadpanned, “Because I will cut your balls off if you do.”

Ian laughed at his friend as he shook his head, “No I’m not keeping you here. I was going to give you the afternoon off to organise shit for your girlfriend. You still doing that thing you planned?”

“Yeah…I was just gonna do it after work.”

“No need. Go get your Daddy’s yacht set up.” Ian teased, “but I’m gonna need a favour.”

“Of course you do” Alex said with a laugh, “What do you want?”

“Can you stop by and get these things and drop it off at my place?” Ian asked handing Alex a list.

Alex looked over the list and then shot Ian a look, “You couldn’t get this shit on your own?”

“I could but I don’t have the entire afternoon off.” Ian said with a smirk. Alex waved him off as he shot him the middle finger before exiting the office.

* * *

When he got home Alex had put everything into the counter with a sticky note.

_I can’t believe you made me buy lube for you._

Ian laughed as he emptied the bags contents and then started stripping off his shirt. He put the case of Mickey’s favourite beer in the fridge and then started preparing the ingredients to make the beef stroganoff for Mickey. When he got that started he moved into the living room moving the couch and the coffee table a little bit out of way and then pulling the futon until it was at the centre of the living room. He opened it out and then grabbed some sheets from the linen closet making the bed and then he got to work on the dozens of packs of candles that Alex had gotten. He started setting them about the room. When he finished he headed back into the kitchen to finished up the meal.

Once that was don’t he headed into the bathroom to take a shower. When he got out there was a text on his phone.

_**Mickey** : Ten minutes away. Had to stop to get some shit._

He pushed his phone onto the counter as he got his lighter and started lighting all the candles around the room and then cutting off the light. It was a really sappy romantic gesture but he really hope Mickey would love it.

The knock on the door had his heart racing and he had to stop, breathe in and breathe out before turning the door knob to reveal Mickey standing with tight lip smile on his face, a cake and a giant bag of mini snickers in his hand while a small stuffed bear was tucked under his arm. “Hey.” He said awkwardly.

“Hi.” Ian smiled as he reached down kissing Mickey’s cheek causing him to blush, “now….I have a surprise for you. Don’t freak out.” Mickey furrowed his brows skeptically as he walked further into the apartment. His blue eyes widened and his jaw dropped animatedly as he looked over the glowing room that was bathed in candle light and the smell of some good homemade stroganoff.

Ian looked at him expectedly waiting for the freak out that actually wasn’t going to come. Mickey wasn’t some girl but there were tears prickling his eye. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” Ian said snaking his arms around Mickey’s waist from behind as he let his head rest on Mickey’s shoulder taking in the sight of the room.

“Ian…” he pulled away turning to let his lips crash into the redheads, “it’s beautiful. A bit gay…but beautiful.” They laughed and then Mickey awkwardly held the cake out, “I brought dessert…for you know before the actual dessert.”

Ian laughed as he took the cake and bag of chocolate out of Mickey’s hand and took it to the kitchen. Mickey followed behind and then held the small white bear out, “And uh…he reminded me of you so Uh…Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Ian took the bear looking at it with a titled head. “Why’d he remind you of me?”

“Oh because he’s a pale ass motherfucker and he’s not wearing any pants…you don’t like wearing pants either.” Ian burst out laughing as he set the bear on the couch, “Come on I made that Stroganoff you wanted.” Ian said. As Ian moved around the kitchen he felt two arms slip around his waist as a kiss placed on his shoulder.

“Thanks…for this.” Mickey whispered and Ian knew better than to say anything more so he reached for Mickey’s hand and brought it to his lips laying a kiss there before going back to what he was doing. “Hey you mind I take a shower before we eat? I took the subway and I feel nasty.”

“Yeah. Go ahead.” Ian said as he went to get the table set.

Dinner was nice. They’d usually eat dinner on the couch or in bed but sitting at the table looking at each other, laughing and talking and just enjoying each other was what Ian loved the most about it. He found it easy in that moment to realise that he might be in love with Mickey. But he knew better than to say it now. He’d seen his sister say it too early and he’d seen his brother hear it too early. It never worked out for them. Ian wanted to be sure that Mickey could feel that way about him before he could bare his soul to him. But for now, this was alright. This was all Ian needed.

As they placed their plates in the sink and moved toward the futon Mickey started gripping at Ian’s T-shirt bringing impossibly close to him while his lips lavished the other man’s lip and jaw. Ian gripped around Mickey kneading his ass as their tongues slid against each other. Mickey stripped his clothes off and then got onto the futon on his hands and knees before looking back at Ian. “Now I know it’s Valentine’s Day and all that shit but I don’t wanna fuck slow. I’m really horny so fucking rail me until I can’t walk tomorrow.” He challenges causing Ian to laugh that melodious sound Mickey loved before smacking his ass and getting to removing his own clothes. If every Valentine’s Day after he got to spend with Mickey, Ian was already the happiest man.

 


	22. Are We Moving Too Fast?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey, despite knowing he's all in with Ian, is just starating to realise how serious things are getting when Ian gives him a key to his apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, last updated was Valentine's Day, therefore it was February. Since I said from here on out its moments from their lives, this chapter is around May so a couple weeks before Mandy's wedding. Just to clear that up. 
> 
> As I said I don't know exactly how many chapters are left but their trip would span two chapters for sure so you got that to look forward to. I'm scraping too get this update out because I have a book report due tomorrow night and I'm only halfway through. So I hope you enjoy an appreciate this chapter.

It was hard to not admire Ian in the morning light that cascaded through the blinds of Mickey’s apartment. He was quiet and peaceful and so breathtakingly beautiful that Mickey couldn’t but be distracted from the current painting he was doing for the entrance of Mandy and Josh’s wedding in a couple weeks. In the few months that had passed Mickey had seen most of the emotions that Ian could convey but peaceful was hardly ever one. He’d usually be talking a million miles per hour, whether he be happy, angry, jealous, inquisitive. Or if he was sad he’d sit in a corner with his brows furrowed and his bottom lip pouting. But in the early Spring morning he was peaceful and calm and beautiful.

Mickey places his brush down as he closed the cap on his tube of paint. He wiped his hands off in a dirty towel with many colours of paint smears on it and then pushed off his stool. In his past relationship, Mickey never found himself entranced by the other man. He loved him, he knew that much. And maybe he only lets people know the bad side of Connor. But it’s because he forces himself to not think of the good parts of him because it brings the hurt and pain back. He doesn’t think anyone can really move past that feeling of being betrayed no matter how much you move on or fall in love. And he’s sure he’s falling for Ian more and more everyday but that doesn’t erase what Connor did. That hurt is always going to be there. As he stands looking down at the redhead man who swooped so easily into his life and snatched his heart up he thinks of how much he and Connor weren’t really in tune with each other.

They never had those lingering touches like he and Ian do. He and Ian can hardly ever go a hour without touching each other when they’re in the same room. He and Ian share small knowing glances at each other. He wakes up to Ian looking down at him sleeping with an easy smile on his face. Ian’s gotten to know him so well he know what not to say to tick Mickey off. Mickey’s been getting really good at opening up about his life before New York and Ian’s been getting really good at just supporting Mickey. Ian knows Mickey probably better than anyone because he pays close attention to Mickey. He picks up on the small things because unlike anyone else he spends time learning about Mickey in a way no one ever thought Mickey was worth. It honestly scared Mickey. The intensity of how much they cared for each other. He shook the thought away as he focused his attention to Ian.

He smiled down at this gorgeous man the universe brought to him as he moved to the bed on the other end of his studio apartment and stood at the foot looking down at Ian. His freckled hand lay across his bare stomach, the sheets barely covering his bare body. Mickey licked his lips as he pulled his T-shirt off and then climbed onto the bed crawling up until he was hovering just over Ian’s face. He bent his head and pressed his lips against Ian’s slightly stubbled jaw and then his neck, and the spot behind his ear. A lazy smile stretched across Ian’s lips as he opened his green eyes.

“Morning.” He said as his permanent crease between his brows returned. Mickey reaches up with a finger and smoothened the skin like he had gotten in the habit of doing.

“Morning.” Mickey said before pressing his lips to Ian’s.

“What time is it?”

“Just after seven, getting up?” Mickey asked as he nuzzled his face in the crook of Ian’s neck.

“Mhm, gotta take my meds.” Ian murmured moaning into the kiss Mickey laid on his neck.

“I’ll get it for you.” Mickey smiled as he pulled off and headed into the bathroom. He came back out shortly after and grabbed a bottled water from the kitchen and then sat beside Ian. Ian sat up and swallowed his pills and then grabbed the edge of the bed like he usually would waiting the tremors and then he held on until his they passed. Mickey rubbed his thumb against Ian’s lower back as they waited it out. Ian gave a small smile before getting up from the bed to slip on some boxers. “So…what’s the plan for today?”

“Well, I’ve got to finish the welcome sign for the wedding and then I have to head into the printing place to pick up the menus and shit.”

“Look at you…being the best best man.” Ian teased as he headed into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee from what Mickey had already made, “Well I…have maid of honor duties….Mandy has to go for the last fitting of her dress and I have to pick up something later today. We staying at your place or mine tonight? Because I haven’t spent much time with Iris in a while and I think she’s starting to get annoyed.” Ian asked nonchalantly as he popped bread into the toaster.

“Uh…wherever is good with me.” Mickey shrugged, “uh…I wanted to talk to you about something,”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Uh…well. Remember Jolene from the youth centre?”

“Yeah? The old lady who had a crush on you?” Ian teased as he sipped his coffee.

“Fuck off she’s old enough to be my mother. Anyways she says the community college in Downtown Brooklyn are looking for someone to teach art…like a co-curricula kind of thing not like a full on course but she said she showed them my resume and some of my stuff and they liked it. They wanna meet with me next week.”

“So you’ll be like teaching the kids art professionally? Not like at the centre where you just keep them company?”

“Yeah. It won’t be me basically babysitting, I’d be actually teaching. She says the classes I took when I now came here really is what I have going for me. It’d be like three days a week just like my Youth Centre schedule.”

“That’s really cool. I thinks it’s a good idea, you’d be a really good teacher.” Mickey could feel himself blushing.

“Yeah?”

Ian rest his cup down onto the counter and then came over to mickey wrapping his arm around his waist. “I think it’s a really good idea. Think of all those kids who you can show that there are more avenues in life than math and English or physics and chemistry.” He kissed Mickey’s cheek softly before the banging on the door commenced.

“Open the fucking door! Ian….we’re going to be late. You better be dressed.” Ian’s quickly ran into the bathroom while Mickey laughed as he went to open the door.

“Hey Bridezilla.” He greeted.

“Hey douchebag. Where’s Ian?”

“Ian? He isn’t here.” Mickey said as he took his seat on his tool by his canvas

“You’re such a shit liar.”

“Don’t worry, Mands…I’m right here.” Ian said walking back out from the bathroom with a towel around his waist. “Hey Mick, can I borrow a shirt?”

“Yeah help yourself.” Mickey said as he started back on his piece as Ian disappeared back into the bathroom. “Give me five minutes!”

Mandy rounded on Mickey then walking over to look at what he was doing. She didn’t say anything though she just stood there looking down while he worked.

“Can you not breathe your hot air down on my neck?” Mickey grumbled.

“So…..”

“So?”

“How have things been with you and Ian, huh?” Mandy asked while rocking on her feet. Mickey could only roll his eyes.

“Good…I guess.” He said looking at his sister skeptically.

“That’s good. I’m happy for you.”

He turned to her then watching her with raised eyebrows, “that all?”

“Well I was actually wondering something.”

“Spit it out.”

“Well, you know how Josh and I were going to Mexico for our honeymoon?”

“Yeah…”

“Well we booked the whole thing already but Josh’s mom and dad surprised us last night and told us they’re paying for us to go to Bora Bora for the honeymoon instead. Mexico is non-refundable so I was wondering if you and Ian would want to go.”

But before Mickey could even begin to answer Ian came out the bathroom in tight fitted black jeans and Mickey’s black and white plaid shirt. “Wondering if you and Ian would want to go where?” He asked looking between the two.

Mickey sighed waving for Mandy to tell him, “To Mexico, Josh’s parents are paying for us to go to Bora Bora and Mexico is non-refundable.”

“What? No…we can’t take that, give it to Josh’s parents or something.” Ian said as he slipped his jacket on.

“They can’t travel because of his dad’s heart condition. Come on guys! When have you been able to relax a bit in a hot country? You’re both always working or at the youth centre. You guys can do with a vacation. Come on! It’s just five days. In a wooden cabin down on the beach. Doesn’t that sound amaaaaazing?” She sang.

“I mean yeah but…” Ian looked nervously over to Mickey attempting to seek out his opinion.

“I mean it sound really good, Firecrotch here will probably burn like a motherfucker though.” Mickey laughed earning him the middle finger from Ian.

“You wanna go?” He hopefully asked beaming his smile in Mickey’s direction knowing damn well that Mickey couldn’t say no to that look.

“If you wanna go I can get time off I’ve got vacation days to take.”

“Really?! Yes I wanna go.” Ian said bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Okay….well I guess we’re going to Mexico then.”

“Yay! Now come on Ian let’s go you’re already making me late.” Mandy chastised walking out the door.

Ian came over smacking his lips against Mickey’s, “I’ll see you later. Wanna go get dinner somewhere? There’s that new place you’ve been wanting to try.”

“Yeah…I’ll come by to your place when I’m done getting the menus it’s like five minutes away.”

“Okay. Have a nice day. Here, in case you get there before me.” Ian said slipping a key off his key ring. He laid one on him again before running out behind Mandy leaving Mickey there with eyes wide open staring at the key having a mini freak out.

* * *

When he got to Ian’s apartment, he sent a text telling him he was there and coming up to meet him. He stared down at the key in his hand hoping he may not have to use it.

 **Ian** : _Hey, Mandy wanted me to have my tux fitted so I’m gonna be a little late. Can you feed Iris her dinner please?_

 **Mickey** : _Sure thing. Have fun_.

He stuck the key into the lock and twisted it the same way his gut did and then entered the apartment. He had no clue why he was freaking out, they were five months into their relationship, getting a key to Ian’s apartment shouldn’t be this traumatizing. He might even ask for the key back when he gets home. He shuts the door behind him and Iris struts over from the couch to greet him. “Hey girl.” He said scratching the back of her ear. The two had become well acquainted since Alex officially gave Ian the cat. In fact Ian sometimes argued that Iris may love Mickey even more. Mickey mindlessly went into the kitchen getting the food for the cat and then calling her to the bowl. Then he stood shocked at the way she did that rubbing against his leg thing she did to Ian before starting to eat. He shook the thought off as he went to the couch. He looked around for the remote on the coffee table but when he sat on the couch without finding it he stuck his hand between the cushion and arm of the chair and pulled it out. It always got stuck their when he and Ian fell asleep on the couch.

He paused for a moment at how normal the thought of them falling asleep here is or that he knew the remote would be there. He huffed and then turned the tv on laying across the couch and pulling the blanket Ian had draped over the back. When he looked down at the blanket it was like he was only now noticing it was a matching blanket to the sheets Ian had gotten him for Christmas. Breaking him out of his thoughts, Iris hopped onto the couch snuggling beside him. He closed his eyes then trying his best to focus on the sound of the television.

When he woke up some hours later it was the sound a pan knocking and the smell of something really fucking good wafting through the air. Iris was no longer pressed to him. He sat up rubbing at his eyes before looking over the back of the couch into the kitchen. He could see Ian wearing a thin grey T-shirt while he moved around at the stove. Mickey slipped off the couch and walked over to the kitchen taking in the look of his boyfriend. The boyfriend he’d be going to Mexico with in a few weeks. Fuck, the freaking out returns. Shit they’ve only been dating for five months and they’re going on a vacation together. _Fuck right off Mickey your relationship started mostly on a vacation to Jersey or didn’t you forget that you dimwit?_ He continued scolding himself as he took a seat at the bench. Ian turned around at the sound and then beamed brightly at him.

“Hey.”

“Hey…I thought we were going to that place a couple streets down?”

“Yeah…but I came home and I saw you were sleeping. You looked tired so I left you and decided to make something instead.”

“Oh…yeah it smells good. Thanks for letting me sleep.”

“No problem. So how was your day?” Ian asked as he turned the stove off and started scooping the stir fry onto two plates.

“Uh…good. I guess. I finished the welcome sign.”

“That’s good. I ended up getting fitted for my tux and they finished Mandy’s dress.” He said pointing to the dress hanging in plastic on a metal clothes rack in the corner. “She’s making me keep it because she doesn’t want Josh to see it.” Ian said rolling his eyes, “Give me ten minutes to do the steaks and dinner will be ready.”

“Ten minutes? That’s too fucking long man.”

“Not everyone likes their steak so bloody. Don’t worry I know how you like it.” Ian said winking at him. He tried his best to smile but his freak out was still happening inside his head. “Hey…you okay?”

“Uh…I got a headache. You got anything for that?” He said as his temples pounded.

“Yeah. Medicine cabinet in the bathroom.”

Mickey slipped off the kitchen stool and headed into the bathroom. He steadied himself against the sink and closing his eyes then breathed in deeply and then out. He ran a hand through his hair and then sighed. He opened his eyes only to look down at the cup that held two toothbrushes. It wasn’t even the brand he usually bought because Ian went out bought them toothbrushes from the brand he usually bought. He yanked the medicine cabinet open to grab the Advil when he looked up and saw his extra inhaler sitting next the Ian’s orange pill bottles. Why hadn’t he noticed how much he’d been at home here before. He was oddly comfortable and he was starting to get scared. He swallows the Advil and drank a handful of water from the tap before forcing himself to go outside and face Ian and maybe even tell him what he was thinking instead of staying in the bathroom like a real pussy.

On his way out from the bathroom he decided to stop into Ian’s room to change his clothes. He slipped out of his jeans and Henley and pulled on a white v-neck. Boxers would have to do. When he pulled his socks off and threw it to the side he straightened up to see Ian’s black framed glasses sitting next to Mickey’s deodorant. Fuck this freak out was only getting worse.

When he got out Ian was setting two plates down on the small dining table. “Hey can you grab us stuff to drink from the fridge?” Ian asked as he got the salad off the counter.

“Yeah.” Mickey opened the refrigerator and grabbed the bottled orange juice Ian usually drank and then noticed there was a new six pack of his favorite beer sitting next to two bottles of Ian’s favorite beer that he rarely drank. Ian was buying his favorite beer….he shouldn’t be freaking out. He shouldn’t.

He walked over to the table setting down their drinks and then sitting opposite Ian. He looked down at the meal before him and he felt like a real asshole. Ian was being sweet, and treating him good and he was busy worrying about who knows the fuck what.

“You doing okay? Is the headache really bad?” Ian asked concerned and the sound of his voice made the key in Mickey’s pocket feel hotter like it was burning his leg. He reached into his pocket and fished the key out and then placed it across the table in front Ian.

Ian looked down at the key and then to Mickey’s face with knitted brows before understanding took over. His brows smoothened and then rose high on his forehead while his chin jutted out like when he was pissed or hurt. Mickey couldn’t tell which he was feeling…maybe both.

“I see.” He whispered so softly Mickey didn’t hear him.

“What?” Mickey asked.

“You’re freaking out.” Ian simply said.

“I’m not….” But he couldn’t lie. “Yeah….I’m freaking out.”

“Why? It’s just a key, Mick…I’m not asking you to move in. Well… I was going to but I’m not gonna if that’s not what you want.”

“You…were going to ask me to move in?” Mickey asked sullenly.

“Yeah…we spend every night together anyway. I just thought it’d make sense. Why is the key freaking you out so much?”

“No ones ever given me a key before.”

“Mick you were in a three year relationship.” Ian said slowly.

“Yeah…that doesn’t mean he gave me a key. Heck we only started spending nights together after the first eight months.”

“Oh.” Ian looked down at his plate and then started biting his lip, “Are we moving too fast?”

“I…I don’t think so. I don’t know why I’m freaking out.”

“Is it because Mandy asked us to go to Mexico?” Ian asked cautiously. Maybe it was because Mandy had asked them to go to Mexico on a HONEYMOON trip.

“I think that’s part of it. I…I really like you Ian and I’m really comfortable around you and your freaking cat and it scares the shit out of me.” He looked down at his hands then looked back up to Ian before softly whispering, “I don’t want to fuck this up because I don’t think I can survive it if it doesn’t work out. I barely survived Connor breaking up with me. And I didn’t feel nearly as much for him as I do for you.”

Ian got up from his seat and came over to Mickey stooping until he was lower than Mickey. He wrapped a arm around Mickey’s waist and looked up at him, “You’re not the only one scared of fucking this up. And I want you to know something. I’ve been kind of freaking out about Mexico too. I wanna go, but it’ll be our first vacation as a couple and I’m kind of nervous.”

“I wanna go too, but what if when we come back things change?”

“They’re only going to change if we let them.” Ian said leaning his forehead against Mickey’s.

“About moving in…”

“Forget I said anything about that.” Ian quickly said.

“I’m not opposing. I’m just asking that maybe we talk about it again after Mexico.”

Ian smiled widely, “Yeah…we can talk about it again.” Mickey then surprised Ian grabbing his neck and pulling him in for a much rougher kiss than usual.

“Hurry up and down that so you can get on me.” Mickey said when they pulled back.

“I’m ready to go now.” Ian said.

“Well I’m not. I’ve got a juicy steak that’s mooing my name right now.” Ian laughed as he went back to his seat so they could finish dinner.

* * *

When Ian woke the next morning in cold sheets and alone his mind immediately began racing thinking Mickey had freaked out again and left this time. He sighed loudly as he sat up and rubbed a hand down his face before reaching for his phone. When he turned to the night stand the first thing he saw was a tall glass of water with condensed water dripping down the side with a small plate with his two morning pills beside two slices of toast. Ian smiled and lifted the plate that revealed a pink sticky notes with a silver key on top. He picked it up reading over Mickey’s neat writing. For a guy who always seems so gruff and angry he had one of the most beautiful handwritings ever…maybe it was because he’s an artist.

_I didn’t freak out._   
_I have work at a normal hour unlike you and then Josh and I are going to get our tuxes fitted._   
_Need a favor though. Blane needs the prints_   
_I did for the new kid series. I didn’t get a chance to grab them because we spent the night at yours._   
_They’re in my desk in the brown envelope please bring them in the office when you get in._

_You can keep the key…because you’re not getting yours back._

_Ps. Seriously Gallagher?! The only sticky notes you have is pink heart shaped ones?_

Ian was smiling like an idiot as he grabbed his piece of toast and bit into it while he picked up the small key. He chucked the note into his drawer before going back to his toast. They both may have freaked out a little but things were still going good.

* * *

The office was like any busy Monday and Ian sauntered in with his head held high with the biggest grin plastered to his face. When he got to Alex’s desk outside his own office he dropped the envelope of prints before grinning, “Do me a favour and get those to Blane?”

Alex nodded as he looked up at his boss and best friend, “So I’m confused. You seemed to have had a really good morning but your man has been here for the past three hours yelling at people so…why exactly are you happy?”

Ian’s brows furrowed, “He gave me a key this morning. Why’s he yelling?”

“Last I heard some guy name Tony fucked up his work or some shit like that. You might want to go calm the pitbull before Blane comes down here himself.” Alex said giving Ian a good luck under his breath. Ian breathed in deeply before heading straight into the art studio next to his office. When he walked in he immediately saw Tony sitting on his desk with a sad looking his face. He glanced over the room until he saw Mickey grumbling to himself in his corner.

“Hey Grumpleton!” Ian called as he got closer to Mickey. Mickey turned around with angry eyebrows and a scowl etched on his face but from the moment he saw Ian the look quickly dissipated.

Ian walked up and lowly said, “So I’m just going so say hello nice and calmly and then I’m walking out here. Meet me in my office okay?” Ian kisses his cheek because it wasn’t like people didn’t know they were together now it was just that he didn’t want talk to Mickey in front them about personal shit. He walked back out the studio and then went into his office.

Shortly after Mickey came in closing the door behind him. He looked up to see Ian leaning back in his chair with high eyebrows. Mickey walked around the desk and then leaned almost sitting in the edge as he looked down at Ian.

“You wanna tell me why you’re yelling at Tony?”

“Fucker used my unit to do his shit and he deleted some of the covers I’ve been working on for weeks. This is why I always tell people not to use my shit.” He reached up pinching the bridge of his nose.

Ian held up a finger as he lifted his phone off the hook dialing and then waiting, “Hey Alan. Yeah I was wondering do you know how to recover anything deleted from the units the artist’s use….Yeah, Okay, great that’ll be wonderful thank you.” Ian said before hanging up and then looking at his boyfriend who had raised eyebrows.

“Alan from tech downstairs is coming up to help you in twenty minutes. He says it’s happens more often that you’d think, the unit has an automatic backup.” Ian said. He then stood up slipping his hand around Mickey’s waist, “Now, we’ve got twenty minutes and I really missed you in my bed this morning.” He brought his head down to Mickey’s neck nuzzling the soft skin.

Mickey only moaned at the touch as Ian continued moving down kissing him though his clothes until he was down on his knees in front Mickey.

“Ian…we can’t.” Mickey rasped as Ian nuzzled his crotch as his fingers began undoing his belt.

“Come on…let me make you feel better” Ian smiled deviously as he unzipped Mickey’s pants and fished his member out. Mickey was already growing hard in his hand and he smiled widely before dipping his head down making it his mission to make his man feel better before he had to face the rest of his day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciate.


	23. She Wasn’t Like Most Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They’d just made love and Mickey thought he would have been more terrified the day when that happened but he found that his heart wasn’t racing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been meaning to update this since Tuesday. Sorry for the wait. Allergies are a bitch, I’m sure some of you know so I’ve been under the weather. I hope you guys like this chapter. It seems like it’s pretty laid back entirely at the beginning but it gets a little deep and emotional on boy the boys’ parts. Up next is the wedding so look out for that.
> 
> I want to say thank you guys for supporting this fic so much. Can’t wait for you guys to see how it all ends which is soon. Also if really appreciate it if you guys check out my Home Is Where You Are Series that I’m gonna be adding to really soon. 
> 
> As well as I have some other AUs I’ve been working on so if you all want me to post more AUs let me know and I’ll work on them more. 
> 
> Enjoy 😉

“No…that’s my sweater, not yours and not Ian’s. Mine. And I want to wear it to go to work. So hand it over!” Ian could hear Mickey’s grumbling as he finished brushing his teeth in the bathroom. “Come on…I’m gonna be late!” Mickey continued arguing. Ian padded out into his living room to see Mickey standing with his hands on his hips arguing with Iris for his sweater. He chuckled lowly as she turned her face away and settled deeper into the sweatshirt on the couch.

“Mick…it’s seven am and you’re arguing with our cat.”

“She won’t give me the sweater. And she’s your cat not ours..” Mickey grumbled. Ian laughed again as he made his way over and gently lifted Iris off the couch and then grabbed the sweater she was laying on and threw it at Mickey, “that’s all you had to do Mick.”

“You know she doesn’t like when I touch her on my terms. It’s always gotta be when she’s in the mood.” Mickey poured as he slipped his sweater on.

“She’s always in the mood for cuddles and technically she’s your cat too since I obtained full custody of her after we had established our relationship.” Ian said cuddling his face into Iris’ fur causing her to purr.

“Well I can guarantee you I won’t fight you for her in the divorce.” Mickey said tensing at his own words “She still makes me uneasy.” He threw out hoping Ian didn’t catch his words about divorce.

“That’s a lie I came home two nights ago to the two of you cuddled on the couch sleeping together.” Ian said as he walked over to the kitchen with the cat tucked in the crease of his arm as he began making coffee, “I’m not going in to work today by the way.”

“How come?” Mickey asked following Ian into the kitchen.

“Uh…I’ve been working on something and I have a meeting for it.” He said without looking at Mickey.

“hmmm, not vague at all.”

Ian laughed in the direction of the coffee maker then looked up to meet Mickey’s eyes, “I wanna be sure about it before I tell anyone, okay? I’ll come into the office around lunch. I’ll buy you anything you want….”

Mickey furrowed his brows before telling himself internally to just relax, “Okay, I’m not supposed to have a busy day today so I promised Josh I’d clock out early and go with him to pick up the rings.”

“Okay….can you believe it? Mandy is getting married in like a week ”

“Yeah…I’m happy for her.” Ian lay a kiss to the side of Mickey’s head, “me too.”

* * *

“Stop fiddling with your tie, Mick.” Ian said from his place in front the full length mirror where he could see Mickey on the tips of his toes trying to see himself over Ian’s shoulders as he twisted and pulled at his tie.

“It’s not my fault it’s so fucking uncomfortable.” Mickey grumbled as he walked away and into Ian’s bedroom.

Ian walked out soon after with his white shirt buttoned up and his thin black tie pinned to his chest. Mickey sat on the edge of the bed taking in the look of his man licking his lips. He reached a hand out pulling Ian between his legs and looking up wickedly at him, “Think you can spare ten minutes?” He asked as he began rubbing Ian through his pants.

Ian groaned as he reluctantly pulled away, he leaned down so his face was in Mickey’s and pecked his lover’s lips, “We can’t, sorry. You look really sexy and if you pull me on that bed it’ll be more than ten minutes or we might not make it out of this apartment at all today and then your sister will most definitely chop off our balls.” He pecked Mickey again as he grabbed his jacket that hung on the wardrobe door and slipped it on. Mickey rolled his eyes as Ian handed him his own jacket.

“Why the fuck she gotta have a rehearsal dinner anyway? What are they gonna do, talk about the rehearsal she didn’t have?” Mandy and Josh had decided to forgo a wedding rehearsal but still have a rehearsal dinner…fuck if Mickey knows why.

Ian laughed as he turned around to grab his watch off the dresser, “Fuck do I know why they have a rehearsal dinner? All I know is Mandy wouldn’t like it if we didn’t show up” He then grabbed his glasses slipping them onto his face. Mickey cocked his head to the side looking at Ian.

“You’re wearing those?”

“Yeah.” Ian said consciously straightening the thick black frames and then looking back into the mirror , “why, does it look bad?”

“No…I like it…a lot.” Mickey said licking his bottom lip.

“My eyes are hurting a bit so I figured I’d wear them.” Ian said before turning to look at Mickey his eyebrows climbing high, “Mickey Milkovich….are these glasses turning you on?”

“So what if they are?” Mickey asked bluntly.

“Hmm, come on, I’m not indulging this talk. We’ll end up later than we already are.” Mickey hummed in annoyance as he got up from the bed and then grabbed Ian’s cologne spraying himself before heading out the room. When they got to the door Ian wrapped his arm around Mickey’s waist from behind laying a kiss to his cheek, “You look really gorgeous. And I’m promise I’ll fuck you really good tonight…..with the glasses on.” Ian’s voice was low and gravelly in Mickey’s ear making the hair stand on the back of his neck.

“You’re such a fucking tease.”

* * *

They were both sitting at a table with the rest of Mandy and Josh’s friends, Kendall, Josh And Mandy. It was rare that Mickey found himself in situations where he could sit back appreciate everything that was happening. But this was one of them. He looked at the beaming smile stretched across his sister’s lips as she lovingly looked into her fiancé’s eyes. He knew they loved each other but it wasn’t often that he really saw it as pure as this. He usually got to see the laid back, insulting, _love_ _you_ _at_   _your_ _worst_ kind of thing when they spent Friday nights getting drunk or high together. He saw it the light shoving and bickering and usually that’s how he knew they loved each other because that’s just how Mandy was.

She didn’t sit and batter her eyelashes at a guy or cling to him every second they were together. If he was honest he thinks the reason his sister had taken as long as she had to find her special someone was because she wasn’t like that. Most guys read easily into that behaviour and knew a girl liked them. But not Mandy. Because she wasn’t like most girls. She had a raw and gritty way about her from growing up in a house with five brothers and a dad. She didn’t have a mom around to teach her how to be soft. She could give in a fight as good as any one of her brothers. When she liked a guy she didn’t caress his upper arm, she would punch him while she laughed at something he said or she’d always call him shitty nicknames like _asshole_. Mickey knew that she needed someone who could love her not in spite of those things but because of those things. He’d admit the first time he met Josh, he most definitely didn’t think he would be the guy. He was softer than they were accustomed to but somehow he turned out to be exactly what she needed.

Josh was the guy who didn’t judge Mandy whenever he heard the wild ridiculous tales of their past in Chicago. He didn’t judge Mandy when she told him she’d gotten an abortion at the age of sixteen because her dad used to mistake her for their mom when he came home drunk. He held Mandy and let her sob into his chest when he found out that their dad didn’t only hold Mandy down when he was drunk but sometimes out of having nothing else to do. Or maybe because she watched him the wrong way. Josh loved Mandy and the entirety of Her; every flaw, every best quality, down to the scar on her thigh from that plastic knife Mickey stabbed her with when they were kids (I mean she did stab him first in his arm claiming she was trying out her new shiv). About a year or two into their relationship when Mickey realised that he didn’t feel about Connor the way Mandy did about Josh. Or he didn’t look at Connor the way Mandy looked at Josh he started the wonder if their was ever someone out there for him. If he’d ever find him. But after years of being told that what he is was wrong and it made him an abomination, Mickey had stopped hoping for the best. And Connor leaving him and cheating on him was only inevitable or well-deserved . So Mickey stopped hoping for the best.

But somehow by the grace of some higher power, Ian came into his life. And Mickey realised; his cheeks ached from smiling when he was with Ian, he couldn’t take his eyes off him, he always enjoyed hearing his voice, seeing his face, just being around him. Mickey realised that every one of Ian’s most annoying habits had become endearing and he loved Ian a bit more and more every day. _Shit_ …. _love_. Everyone was laughing and enjoying their dinner after the toasts were made and Mickey could feel himself starting to worry at his sudden epiphany while everyone around him was oblivious.

Shit, he think he loves Ian and he doesn’t have the slightest clue that Ian is thinking the same things about him. Ian pulled his chair close enough to Mickey that their shoulders were pressed together and Mickey feels relief at the proximity. It isn’t all sexual with them. He just loves being close to Ian. But sometimes it’s hard to deny the sexual itch especially when Ian teased him the way he did before he left the apartment. And it’s like Ian feels the itch too because his left hand crept up Mickey’s knee and kept tracing patterns along Mickey’s thigh. Mickey grabbed his wrist to still his motions causing Ian to have a smirk grow on his face. He then pressed his palm against Mickey’s thigh and squeezed the flesh causing Mickey to cough in order to hide the groan he was sure would escape his lips.

“Mickey, these pieces you did for just the rehearsal are so beautiful, I can’t wait to see the ones on the actual day.” Mandy’s friend whose name Mickey couldn’t remember for the life of him said.

“Uh…thanks.” Mickey managed despite the massaging Ian was doing to his inner thigh.

“Yeah, Mick… so good.” Ian whispered spurring Mickey on even more.

“Sooo….are you two ready for Mexico?” Mandy asked as she shoved a spoon of dessert into her mouth.

“Yeah, super excited. Can’t wait to have the sun on my skin, and sand _pressed_ up against me while I try to get a good tan.” Ian said as he pressed deeper into Mickey’s flesh.

“Oh you’re gonna burn so bad.” Mickey chuckled.

“You too Casper.” Mandy laughed causing her brother to flip her off.

It was after everyone had finished their dinners and desserts and Ian still hadn’t relented on his thigh. He was switching between light tickling circles then to deep massages. Mickey was sure his inner thigh was bruised by now but he didn’t give a fuck. It was after two of Mandy friends got up to leave that Ian dipped his head down and placed a small kiss to Mickey’s ear, “You ready to go?”

“I’ve been ready since before dessert when you started tenderising my thigh.” Mickey quipped back causing Ian to laugh. They both excused themselves getting knowing glances from Mandy and then made their way out the restaurant to Ian’s car.

* * *

“Why are you so hot?” Ian’s voice rasped in Mickey’s ear as he pushed him against his apartment door. Ian groaned as Mickey’s warm wet mouth latched on to the side of his neck. His hands skirted down Ian’s sides grabbing his shirt and yanking in out of his pants, “Fuck don’t mark me up.” Mickey managed.

“Why not? You love when I mark you up.” Ian’s tongue darted out flicking against the sore skin.

“I do. But you I don’t want Mandy to cut my balls off because I look like I got my neck hoovered in all her wedding pictures.”

Ian’s hand cupped the side of Mickey’s neck as he kissed the sore skin, “Fine…I’ll wait until Mexico.” He chuckled lowly and so fucking sexy that Mickey couldn’t take it. He pushed Ian off him and grabbed him by his tie leading him into the bedroom. The first thing the two saw was Iris lying in the middle of Ian’s bed with Mickey’s sweatshirt, the same one she and he were fighting for earlier that week, “Nuh-Uh you’re not cockblocking me tonight, Princess. Come on.” Mickey said letting go of Ian and moving toward the bed where he scooped the cat up and the sweatshirt and took her out into the living room into her own bed. When he came back to the room Ian was sitting on the edge of the bed loosening his tie with one hand while the other was pulling his shirt free from his pants. He had a big grin on his face and not the one like he knew he was going to get some ass in a few minutes but this one was gently fond.

“What?” Mickey said as he shrugged his jacket off and then pulled his loose tie over his head.

“Nothing…it’s just…” Ian reaches out grabbing Mickey by his belt loops and pulling him to stand between his legs, “You just called our cat Princess. Fatherhood looks good on you Mick.” Ian said as he undid Mickey’s belt while looking into those blown out blue eyes.

“Your cat.” Mickey protested but it barely came out as a whisper as his eyes stayed locked on Ian’s lips. His hand came up stroking his thumb over Ian’s wet lips. “Fuck…” he breathed.

Ian continued looking up at Mickey’s face admiring the way his boyfriend seemed so lost in the touch as he slowly unzipped his pants before pushing them down those thick thighs. He let his eyes fall close as he leaned in nipping at the soft pale skin below Mickey’s bellybutton and then grabbing the waistband of Mickey’s boxers between his teeth before slipping his fingers around the band and pulling them down to bunch with the rest of his pants. “God you’re so hot. I wanted you since before we left.” Ian whispered as he wrapped his hand around Mickey’s length opening his eyes to look back up through his black framed glasses. There was no doubt about it to Ian. He knew he loved Mickey at this point and it was so easy to let those words slip out in the heat of the moment but that’s not how he wanted Mickey to hear it.

Mickey’s clenched eyes and parted lips were all telltale signs that he was not really here, he wouldn’t be listening. He wouldn’t really hear the depth of those three words. If Ian said it now it would only scratch the surface of the things he loved about Mickey. The physical things. It wouldn’t shed light on all the other small things he had fallen so painfully in love with about the other man. “Tell me what you want.” Ian whispered against Mickey’s skin.

“You” the brunette’s voice was rough and choked out. “Fuck…just do something.” Ian stood up from the edge of the bed and moved closer to Mickey, he looked down at his beautiful blissed out face before taking Mickey’s bottom lip in-between his own.

“Lie down.” Ian’s voice was low despite its whisper. He may not be able to say those three words tonight but that didn’t mean he couldn’t show them. Mickey let his pants fall further to the floor as he hurriedly unbuttoned his shirt. When he finally got rid of his clothes he lay down on the bed on his back looking up at Ian. Ian moves slowly as he removed his own shirt and then started unbuckling his pants.

“Come on. You’ve had me worked up since dinner.” Mickey whined.

“I’m coming, babe.”

Mickey’s eyes closed down and Ian knew he was too fucking gone in the foreplay to even fight the pet name. Once Ian had all his clothing off he kneeled down on the bed between Mickey’s legs taking Mickey’s length back into his hand as he moved his body up until he was hovering over Mickey’s face, his hand moving so fucking slow. “I wanna try something different.” Ian whispered against those swollen lips.

“What’s that?” Mickey asked his eyes fluttering open as moan escaped his lips.

“I wanna take it slow, I know you like it hard. And really fast. But I wanna try it slow babe. Can we do that?”

“Fuck…mm anything. Just once you get on me.” Ian chuckled at Mickey’s impatience as he grabbed the lube off the nightstand. He moved further down as he poured some lube onto his fingers and rubbed them together. As he moved his fingers between Mickey’s cheeks he let his lips enclose the tip of Mickey’s dick allowing him to distract Mickey from the slight burn. He moved his head up and down as he hollowed his cheeks while his fingers worked slowly to open Mickey. He opened his eyes looking up through her glasses frames to see blue eyes watching his every motion. The moment his third finger slipped in Mickey was yanking at his red hair to pull him off, “I’m gonna come if don’t you get in me.”

Ian swirled his tongue around the tip before pulling off and then moving up the bed. He slicked himself up all while watching Mickey’s pleasured face. His eyes were closed and his chest was heaving while beads of sweat dropped down the collar of his neck. The sight was sexy sure but Ian couldn’t help but see the utter beauty in Mickey. The way his teeth latched onto his bottom lip while he stifled a moan or the way his black brows knitted together like he was really concentrating while Ian pushed into him. Or the soft sigh that escaped his lips when Ian bottomed out stilling to make sure Mickey was comfortable. Mickey was so beautiful that Ian didn’t think their were words that could accurately describe his beauty. With his eyes still closed he reached his hand out in a calling motion for Ian to lean down. The moment he felt Ian’s heat pressed against him he wrapped his arms around Ian’s shoulders while burying his face into Ian’s neck. Ian thought he’d just place his face their but then he started kissing Ian’s skin and not in the lavishing attempt to spur Ian on to move, it was sweet pecks and he buried his nose in the crook and inhaled.

“You good?” Ian asked softly as his hands ran down Mickey’s sides touching, feeling, loving every inch of him.

“Yeah. I’m good.” Ian pulled back then and began his slow pace, it wasn’t lazy or lethargic, he was loving his man in the only way he could right now. He knew if he said those words that seemed to be on the tip of his tongue so often now, Mickey might spook and then things will just go to shit. But they’ve been doing really good. They’ve exchanged keys and Ian thinks Mickey would be ready to hear those three words really soon. He could see this going places. He could see himself waking up to Mickey for the rest of forever and being the happiest man on the earth because of it.

“Fuck…Ian.” Mickey moaned pulling Ian’s face toward his own so he could kiss him, licking languidly into his mouth while they swallowed each other moans. “Oh shit. I’m not gonna last.” He chuckled as everyone of Ian’s slow thrusts nudged his prostate. Ian kisses his lips before burying his head in Mickey’s neck and slowly pushing in before rotating his hips a little, he stay tucked tightly against Mickey and his thrusts became shorter and a little faster causing Mickey to moan out as the hot feeling emerged between them. Ian followed quickly after hearing the sounds his boyfriend was making. He collapsed against Mickey until his breath evened out holding him close. He rolled off and took the condom off before tying it and tossing it int trash can and laying beside Mickey who trying his best to catch his breath. He handed over his towel that was on the ground to Mickey to clean his belly both of them still not saying anything. When Mickey threw the towel back at him, he rolled over until he was facing Mickey.

The raven haired man had a lazy smile of his face as his eyes were still closed. Ian leaned in and kissed his cheek before placing his arm over Mickey’s torso and dipping his head into Mickey’s neck inhaling his scent deeply.. Ian had thought they just wouldn’t say anything until Mickey’s voice broke the silence of the dark room, “I think I died and went to heaven.”

They both burst into laughter as Mickey turned his face to Ian opening his eyes. “I…” Ian knew what Mickey was going to say. Mickey knew what he was going to say. Still he couldn’t say it.

“I know.” Ian whispered. “You too.” He settled for, Mickey nodded letting his eyes fall close. They’re weren’t both stupid to not know what they had just done. They’d just made love and Mickey thought he would have been more terrified the day when that happened but he found that his heart wasn’t racing. He was happy that it happened the way it did he turned onto his side to face Ian and threw his own arm around him burying his face in Ian neck and letting sleep take over him. Because for once he was happy and he was going to let himself enjoy it.

 


	24. All Dressed In White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It wasn’t hard for Mickey to realise just how much this tall redhead had come to mean to him in the months they’d been together. And he was sure now that he could see himself in this same place doing what Mandy was doing with Josh, with Ian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey 👋🏼 hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Mandy And Josh’s wedding plus a tease of Mexico. I hope everyone is doing well. I’ve started working on some other stuff so probably when I finish this I might get into posting my other stories. Not sure yet. I might be out of commission when Finals start soon though. But I’m hoping to be able to keep up. This chapter was an absolute joy to write, I love writing Mickey thinking back on how far he and Mandy have come. Hope you all love it as much as I do and enjoy 😉 ♥️

The hall was pretty damn spectacular, Mickey thought as he looked up at the mass concrete carvings and pillars that framed the entrance. The building itself exuded confidence and stature…if that makes any sense at all. He pulled on the end of his grit allowing the smoke to permeate through his lungs and the nicotine’s settle into his blood. His heart was racing at the thought of what today was. It was Mandy’s wedding day. His little sister. The one person who’d been his entire world for most of his life. She’d talked about this day for so long. Since they were just little kids and she watched that movie with Jennifer Lopez…what’s it called? The wedding planner. She talked his ears off that night because they were still sharing a bedroom then. He still remembers begging her to just shut up. It’s always been him and Mandy. For as long as he could really remember. Sure, they had four other brothers but he and Mandy were the youngest, they shared a bedroom until he was 9 and she was 6. And still when she got what used to be their big brother Tony’s room before he got punched for man slaughter, she would still crawl into Mickey’s bed whenever she had a nightmare. To them it was almost like their four older brothers were just distant cousins rather than siblings.

Mickey was the one who went to the Kash and Grab when he was fifteen to steal tampons for Mandy because she was too embarrassed to ask anyone else. Mickey was the one who beat the living shit out of her shitty boyfriends back on Southside. It’s always been them, Mickey and Mandy versus the Southside and then their dad died and it was Mickey and Mandy versus New York. Now it wasn’t just the two of them. And Mickey knew it hadn’t been for quite some time. Josh had been in their lives for years now and Ian months but still Mickey couldn’t help but think of how their lives were changing. And he was actually really okay with it. Long were the days when Mickey and Mandy were just grateful to make it another year living under their fathers roof. Long were the days when they considered getting a solid beating, two broken ribs and black eye a good day because they knew it could be so much worse. He was happy he and Mandy had people they could rely on, somewhere safe they could call home, people they could call home. Mickey couldn’t begin to be grateful for the shit that Josh had done for Mandy. And how much he loves and supports her. She definitely couldn’t have found someone better.

He stubbed his cigarette out on the concrete bins and then tossed it taking a deep breath in. “You getting cold feet?” A familiar voice called from his side. He turned to see Ian standing with his hand shoved into the pockets of his grey suit.

“Aren’t cold feet supposed to be for the bride and groom?” Mickey quipped.

Ian sauntered over and grabbed the pack of cigarettes from the metal table Mickey was standing by. He held one between his lips before motioning for Mickey to light it. He took one long drag before looking into Mickey’s eyes. “She’s your sister. I can understand you being wary to give her away.”

Mickey snorted, “Mandy gave herself away a long time ago. So, how long’s this ceremony anyway?” Mickey asked as he grabbed the cigarette from Ian’s hand.

“Uh…about an hour I think. What? You’ve never been to a wedding before?” Ian teased only to look up and see Mickey nervously biting his lips.

“You’ve never been to a wedding before?” Ian asked curiously.

“No…always avoided having to go to one.”

Ian wrapped an arm around him smiling, “Come on, you’ll like it…you’ll probably like the reception more though, lots of free booze and food.”

Mickey laughed as he handed Ian the cigarette. He bit nervously at his lip, “So…remember that thing I told you about?”

Ian nodded as he pulled on the cig then blew the smoke out, “Community College?”

“Yeah…They called.”

“Yeah?” Ian asked with red raised eyebrows.

“I got the job.” Mickey said with a small smile on his lips.

“Holy shit! That’s great! Oh we’re definitely celebrating.” Ian said crowding Mickey’s space and laying a kiss on his cheek while he stubbed the cigarette out.

“It’s just one or two days for the week starting next semester in September.”

“I’m so happy for you.” Ian said kissing Mickey’s face all over, “I know how much this means to you.”

Mickey leaned into Ian and then wrapped his arms around the redhead. He didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky. Maybe it was just the fact that they were at a wedding or maybe the nicotine went to his head but he found himself thinking that he could see him and Ian right here doing all this wedding shit. “Come on Let’s go get Mands.”

* * *

Mickey stood leaning against the door frame looking at something he could only explain as absolutely beautiful. Mandy stood with her backed towards the door as she fixed the flare of her white gown. There were two of her friends around her trying to fit her veil in place and the other kneeling in front her buckling her shoe. Her jet black hair was pulled back and clipped so that big curls cascades down her back while the white veil flowed over.

“Beautiful, isn’t she?” Ian who was standing beside him asked.

Mickey blinked back the tears and then nodded his head. Ian smiled before wrapping his arms around Mickey’s waist before pressing a kiss to his temple. “I’m gonna go down and see if they’re ready.” Ian then disappeared out the door. The two girls helping Mandy then bid her good luck as they too left to join the remaining wedding party. Mandy turned to see Mickey standing behind her with red eyes

“You’re crying? Don’t cry. Because then you’ll make me cry and I then I’ll fuck up my makeup.”

Mickey laughed as he pushed off the doorway and walked toward her, “I Uh brought you something.” He then dug into his pocket revealing a small black box, “I know how much you liked it so I had it fixed for you.” Mickey smiled as he handed over the box. When Mandy flipped the lid open tears immediately filled her eyes as she looked down on the silver locket their mother used to wear when they were younger.

“Motherfucker, I told you not to make me cry.” She laughed as tears sprung. She smacked his chest before pulling him into a hug and then smiling, “thank you.”

“You ready to go?” Mickey asked putting his arm out for her to loop hers in his.

“Yeah…as ready as I’ll ever be.” Mandy said looping her arm in his as they left the room. Mickey was serving as both the best man and the father of the bride. He’d told Josh to let his brother Kendall be the best man but Josh was pretty sure his little brother would find some way to fuck it all up. Mandy’s argument was that she didn’t have a father alive to walk her and even if that piece of shit was still alive he certainly wasn’t worthy of such honour. _As twisted as it may sound...you’ve always taken care of my like a father should, Mick. So no one deserves this honour more._ When Mickey and Mandy began to proceed down the aisle arm in arm they were both looking up at the most important people in their lives. Ian was standing amongst the other bridesmaids smiling widely at them locking eyes with Mickey’s and Josh was standing at the centre with tears in his eyes as he watched the only woman he’s ever loved walk up the aisle. Mandy squeezed Mickey’s arm a little as they slowly walked the white aisle. “I’m scared.” She whispered behind her smile. Mickey shot her a worried glance which made her elaborate, “I’ve never been more sure of anyone in my life. But I’m scared to be…happy.” Just then they reached the altar, Mickey kissed Mandy’s cheek whispering into her ear, “No one…and I mean no one deserves it more than you,” and shook Josh’s hand before stepping to his side he looked over at Ian who stood on the opposite side still smiling like an idiot and wiping the tears from his eyes.

It wasn’t hard for Mickey to realise just how much this tall redhead had come to mean to him in the months they’d been together. And he was sure now that he could see himself in this same place doing what Mandy was doing with Josh, with Ian. He breathed in deeply as the ceremony proceeded as he kept looking into Ian’s green eyes that were filled with so much feelings.

The ceremony actually went way faster than Mickey had expected, and soon they were all filing into the recreational hall for the reception where loud music was blasting and the drinks began flowing. “You looked so good up there.” Ian said lowly in his ear as he wrapped his arms around Mickey from behind.

“Not too bad yourself, Red.” Mickey smiled turning his head so he could press their lips together.

“Can you believe in eight short hours we’ll be on a beach in fucking Mexico?” Ian cooed.

“Let’s get through right now before you go riling me up for later?”

“Mm, when do I get to start riling you up?” Ian’s said as he continued pressing his face against Mickey’s cheek.

“How bout on the way to Mexico huh?”

Mickey stayed for most of the night at a table watching on as his sister and her groom danced carelessly. Growing up he hadn’t realised how little he saw his sister smiling but after moving to New York or more so after she met Josh it seemed as though his sister couldn’t quite stop smiling. And it was something he did not think he’d grow tired of seeing. He watched as Ian loosened his tie throwing his head back as he moved his body to whatever song was playing a smile creeping onto his lips as he looked on as his sister threw her head back laughing at Ian and Ian’s throat bobbed with the way he laughed in response. They were happy and Mickey realises looking at them happy was enough to make him happy. This is why he and Mandy picked all their shit up and moved to New York. It made the discomfort of their first year, and the few menial jobs all fucking worth it because he no longer saw the weight of Southside pressing down on her shoulders. On even his for that matter. He’s an artist, who lives freely and has a job he loves. He doesn’t have to swipe soup cups from the convenience store to ensure he and Mandy get at least one meal for the week. They’re comfortable and happy.

A hand smoothed down his shoulder and it was only then he realised Ian moved close to him, “I can hear you thinking from all the way over there.” Ian smiled taking a seat opposite Mickey so their knees touched.

“Yeah? What was I thinking?”

“How happy you are that she’s happy. Oh…and how much you can’t wait for me to fuck You later.” Ian laughed causing Mickey to shake his head.

“That’s all you’re with me for huh?”

“Come on, Kendall is gonna drive us to the airport.” Ian said standing up and reaching his hand out.

“Okay let me just tell Mandy we’re leaving.” They both walked over to where the bride had now taken a seat and propped her feet up in her husband’s lap.

“You two leaving already?”

“Yeah…we got a flight in like two hours. Ken is gonna drop us. We’ll see you guys.” Ian said reaching down and hugging them both. Mickey then stepped forward wrapping his arm around Mandy, “Uh…I’ll see you in three weeks when you get back. It’s a shame by the time you get back here my nice tan would have already faded.”

“Shut up, you’re both gonna burn not tan. Enjoy it…please. You deserve it.” She said looking him in the eye, “and thanks for giving me away today. No one I’d rather have do it.”

“You’re welcome. Have a good time in Bora where’ve the fuck.” Mickey said nonchalantly as he smacked Josh in the back before heading out the to the doors with Ian catching up behind him.

* * *

Mickey’s chest only tightened slightly, this wasn’t his first flight but it still wigged him the fuck out. When he and Mandy had flown to New York the first time she’d made fun of his inability to chill the fuck out. This time there was a freckled hand covering his own squeezing reassuringly as the plane took off. “Hey….” Ian whispered beside him. “It’s okay. I used to get nervous flying too. You’re okay. Open your eyes.” Ian’s voice was calm and smooth but despite that Mickey still shook his head adamantly.

“Open your eyes, conquer it.” He whispered. Mickey turned his head in the direction that he new Ian was sitting in and slowly opened his eyes to see Ian’s green ones staring back into his own, his freckles faintly noticeable in the dim light with it being night and all. His pink lips were wet like he had just ran his tongue over them. Mickey felt his heart unclench and his breathing slow until he was relaxed. He leaned his head forward pressing their foreheads together breathing in deeply. “You’re doing good.” Ian said softly. “You wanna try taking a nap?”

“Can’t sleep.” Mickey said.

“Okay…if I fall asleep and you need me just wake me up.” Ian said as he let his eyes fall shut his hand still clasping Mickey’s and their foreheads still pressed together.  
  
Mickey hadn’t meant to fall asleep but he’s fucking grateful that he did. He jostled when the pilot announced they’d be experiencing some turbulence on landing so he strapped himself in and gripped tightly as the seat to prepare himself. Ian’s hand came on his again as the plane began shaking in the sky. He shut his eyes and tried not to think of how much of a pussy he was being. Despite the chaos he felt going on around him Ian’s thumb continued its soft circular motions on his hand.

When the plane did land and they were allowed to disembark, Mickey stood on his slightly wobbling legs and gripped Ian’s elbow as he made they made their way into the building.

The Mexican air was cooler than they expected at this time of night, they stood waiting outside the airport until the town car arrived and took them on their journey toward their cabin. Puerte Vallarta was a good journeys way from the airport and both men briefly fell asleep on the way. It wasn’t until they were coming to a stop and the driver was calling them awake had they noticed they had arrived. It was a small wooden cabin perched on the dunes of the bay with palm trees lining the driveway. They quickly got out and unloaded their luggage from the boot, before heading toward the door. The driver who worked with the resort climbed out and handed them an envelope, “we do hope you enjoy your stay Mr and Mr Milkovich, breakfast is available every morning down at the café close to the dock, two minute walk. Have a lovely honeymoon.” He said before climbing into his car and driving back to the main lobby.

“Did he just….” Mickey said still dumbfounded by the man’s assumption. He looked down at the envelop that had simply written on the outside _Milkovich_.

Ian stifled his laugh as Mickey shook the two keys out of the envelope and shot him a glare, “Shut up…do we look like a married couple?” He pretend to be perturbed but they both know he really wasn’t.

Ian let his belt of laughter escape his lips no longer attempting to hide it as they climbed the steps toward the cabin. When they pushed the wooden door open Mickey let out a groan that only fuelled Ian’s laughter, “Oh fuck me” he complained when his eyes lay on the giant heart shaped mattress with dark red sheets while a string of paper hearts hung around the canopy of the bed. Ian’s arms encircled his waist tightly as he ducked down to kiss Mickey’s neck wetly, “That’s the plan.” Ian let Mickey go as he took their bags over to the side of the room before looking around for a bit. He went behind a close door to come back with a wide eyed look, “Mick, there’s four-head shower in there and a huge ass tub. This place is insane.”

Mickey slowly walked further into the cabin going over to the bed then turning his head to the right to look out the large glass doors that led to the balcony that overlooked the ocean.

“Hey, you wanna go for a swim” Ian asked lowly as he came to stand beside Mickey.

“In the night?” Mickey asked incredulously.

“Yeah, come on, it’ll be fun.” Ian said as he slowly began stripping off his clothes until he was in nothing but his boxers and then sliding the balcony doors open and heading onto the deck before disappearing down the steps.

“Come on Mick!” He shouted from afar. How the fuck did Mickey…the guy you was still reeling from a gut wrenching breakup only a year ago get here with a guy who was so painfully beautiful running down the dunes of a beach in fucking Mexico calling Mickey out to meet him. A guy who Mickey had fallen in love with, without being scared that he’d get killed for ever thinking the things he did about that man. He breathed out his fears and stripped his clothes before following Ian toward the ocean.


	25. El Primer Te  Amo  (The First I Love You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I planned on saying that so much more smoothly….” Ian then set his empty plate down on the cart and placed his hands in his lap, “But Yeah…I fell in love with you Mickey. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, here's your third to last update. I'm not sure if any of you noticed but I finally put the amount of chapters this story is going to have, so as you can see after this update there is only two more chapters which will be coming this week. I intend on ending this by Sunday 14th April, 2019. I have other things I'm also getting ready to post. 
> 
> I hope this chapter is enjoyable I know some of you were excited for this moment so here it is.

Gallagher’s luck. It was sort of a comical thing amongst the siblings simply because it was shit. So whenever they found themselves in seemingly happy or content situations they were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it was five months after Mickey and Ian had become an official couple and shit was going better than it ever could. And somehow Ian started to believe that his Gallagher’s (bad) luck had finally run out.

He was laying in bed as the bright orange light of the rising sun shone through the large glass doors of their cabin.

About five minutes before Mickey had turned his face away from the door and into Ian’s direction. His pale smooth skin glowed beneath the sunlight and Ian couldn’t help but bring a hand up to trace over the softness. Mickey hummed softly in his sleep as his body relaxed into the mattress. His cheeks are pressed against the pillow making his pink lips pout and Ian wants to just lean down and kiss them. Ian loves this man with his all. He can feel it in the way his body responds to Mickey. In the way his mind is always filled with thoughts of the other man. Ian’s seen this kind of love before in his friend Jackson and his wife Claudia. When he was living in their home he saw first hand that they weren’t perfect. They fought shamelessly but they always came back together because they loved each other and they deemed their communication more important than any menial fight. He’d always hoped he could find that in someone. Someone he couldn’t even think he’d argue with. He knew he and Mickey wouldn’t agree on everything and they had their few heated discussions but all in all he just looked at Mickey and he couldn’t find it in his heart to stay mad.

“How long have you been awake?” Mickey asked in a groggy voice bringing Ian back to the present.

“A while.” He said softly, “how’d you sleep?” Ian asked getting closer to Mickey and nuzzling his face into Mickey’s shoulder.

“Mm. Good. My ass aches though.” He chuckled.

“Hmm maybe I can take care of you.” Ian smiled as he lifted himself to hover over Mickey. He pressed his lips into Mickey’s soft pillowy ones while his hips ground down into his lover’s “You’re so perfect in the morning.” Ian whispered as he pulled away from Mickey’s lips to kiss at his jaw and cheek. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Fuck off with that, man” Mickey said despite the blush on his face.

“I’m serious. The most beautiful.” Ian peck his lips, “and cute.” Peck, “and that ass.” They both chuckled as Ian moved down the bed kissing at Mickeys chest and then his navel and his bare hip bone, “Fuck, look at you” Ian said looking up at his lover’s blown out look, “so good.” Ian said before picking the wet head of Mickey’s cock into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and going down. Mickey moaned as one hand gripped the sheets and the other carded through red hair.

“Fuck, Ian.” He moaned as the red head quickens his pace, bobbing his up and down. He popped off loudly stroking Mickey in his hand trying to catch his own breath, “let go, Mick. Just let go.” He whispered before resuming sucking. He sucked Mickey down like his fucking life depended on it until Mickey’s body was shivering beneath him while a loud yelp escaped the black haired man’s lips. “Fuck that was good. Come let me do you.”

“No need.” Ian said motioning to his slick softening member.

“Fuck that’s hot.” Mickey laughed as he pulled Ian up to slot their lips together.

“Let’s go get breakfast, Mr Milkovich.” Ian’s smiles as he pushed off the bed and headed toward his suitcase.

“I’m coming Mr Milkovich.” Mickey joked reminding them of the driver’s mistake the night before. Mickey padded into the bathroom completely unaware that Ian stood looking down at the T-shirt he held in his hand trying to figure out why he liked the sound of that so much. He was so fucking whipped for this man.

* * *

  
It was their second night in Mexico and they were walking down the path toward the resort’s restaurant for dinner. Ian wore a pair of khaki slacks and a thin white button down shirt while Mickey opted for far more casual. He wore tan cargo shorts and a green and orange Hawaiian shirt he insisted on buying. They both subtly bumped into each other while they walked hand in hand. When they got to the restaurant they were seated on the outside deck that over looked the bay under a thatch roof.

“This is so freaking insane…look at how beautiful that view is. We’re gonna have to get Mandy a fucking awesome Christmas and birthday gift this year.” Ian said smiling.

“We?” Mickey asked with a smile on his face.

Ian’s smile turned nervous as he looked over in Mickey’s direction, “Yeah…unless that’s not something you wanna do…it’s totally fine to get separate gifts I just thought…fuck I shouldn’t even think about shit like that, Christmas is what….six months away…”

Mickey places his hand over Ian’s and squeezed in attempt to get the redhead to stop rambling, “Hey…I just meant I like the sound of it…stop overthinking. Didn’t I tell you I’m in this?”

Ian relaxed slightly, “right…sorry. Uh…what are you getting?” The rest of dinner was spent with both men laughing their asses off as they looked out onto the glimmering sea.

“So…remember that thing I told you we can talk about after Mexico?” Mickey started.

Ian looked up with a big smile on his face hoping that this would go in the direction he wanted, “Yeah.”

“Why don’t we do that when we get back?”

“Yeah? You wanna move in?”

“Well, Yeah But I was thinking that maybe we could get a new place..that’s ours you know?”

“I think that’s a great idea.” Ian smiled trying to not make a big deal of it so he smiled and then looked at Mickey before carrying on their regular conversation, something Mickey was grateful for.

They talked about their futures and they talked about their work. They got to know each other even more than they had before. And by the time Ian was shoving a spoon of whatever the fuck their dessert was he was looking up at Mickey with pure love and he could already tell that it would be difficult to not let Mickey know how he felt. The words were on the tip of his tongue, he wants to say them. He knows he will soon.

* * *

  
He was sitting on warm beige sand with beads of salt water melting into his freckled skin while cold the Pacific Ocean crawled up his legs and then back away into its mass. The sun was beating down onto his reddening skin but he couldn’t move. He was captivated and almost paralysed by the sight of Mickey dipping into the crystal blue water only to come back up and shake the water off his black hair.

They’d already spent three days here now and Ian found that he couldn’t get enough. He was seeing Mickey stress free, enjoying the smallest pleasures in life. He woke up that morning to Mickey sitting on the deck just outside their cabin sketching into his journal with no creases in his forehead but only a look of contentment. “Come on, tomato, you’re gonna burn real bad if we don’t get inside.” Mickey said climbing up the beach and blocking the light from Ian’s face.

“Can we just order room service tonight?” Ian asked as he reached his arm up for Mickey to pull him up.

“Yeah…I think we’ll be too busy to go to restaurant anyway.” Mickey said crowding Ian’s space as he leaned forward to kiss at Ian’s bare collarbone. “You look so good.”

“Mmm. Got some ideas do we?” Ian smiled lazily leaning into the touch.

“Come on.” Mickey then turned with Ian’s hand in his grasp to ascend up the hot sand and toward their villa.

“So I have a surprise for you.” Ian said as they got to the villa.

“Yeah? If you say it’s your dick…you don’t deserve any ass for that corny as fuck joke.”

“No… come on.” Ian said holding out an envelope. “So before you open it…don’t get mad that I did it okay? I reached out and made a suggestion. It’s totally up to you if you want to go through with it.”

Mickey furrowed his brows as he opened the envelope cautiously, he unfolds the letter.

> _Dear Mr Milkovich,_
> 
> _I am pleasantly surprised that Mr Gallagher and Harvey and Beck have reached out to my team. Since attending your exhibit almost a year ago I have been searching for more artists like yourself who can convey deep rooted emotions the way your art does. After seeing the rough sketch Mr Gallagher provided that you made of Pennywise I am absolutely astonished of what you are capable of. I would love to work one day with you. I have been working on a release set for next Spring. I would be more than welcoming and happy to meet to discuss your ideas._
> 
> _Yours Respectfully,_
> 
> _Stephen King._

Mickey wipes harshly as the tear flowing from his eyes, “This is a prank right?”

“What? No…I’m serious. I found your sketch of Pennywise and I decided to try sending it. He really like it so…he wants to work with you.”

“Holy shit Ian. This is huge. You know what this could do for my career? Fuck!” Mickey said lunging himself into Ian’s arms.

“It’s what you deserve.” Ian said before Mickey was crashing his lips against Ian’s. Ian tightened his arms around Mickey losing himself in the kiss.

It wasn’t long before they were both pressing their bodies against each other under the spray of the four head shower while skirting their hands all over wet bodies. They were panting and the steam only building in the unit only to heat them up more as they came down from their high.

Mickey stepped out the steamed up bathroom into their cool bedroom, because thank God for A/C, when a knock wrapped against their cabin door. Mickey retrieved the cart of their dinner from one of the resort workers and then set foot back into the cabin. Ian was sitting against the headboard when he got there in nothing but a snug pair of green boxer briefs while his wet hair looked ruffled with curls. Mickey couldn’t help but curse under his breath at the sight because Ian was so damn beautiful it sometimes left him speechless. He padded over to the bed with the cart rolling in front him until he came to a stop at the bed foot.

Both men took their plates and sat back ready to devour their dinner in a simple silence that was more than comfortable. But apparently it was only Mickey Who was prepared for silence, Ian on the other hand seemed to have something he wanted to say.

“Spit it out.” Mickey said without looking up from his plate.

“What?”

“You wanna say something…so go ahead and say it.”

Ian bit his lower lip before breathing in, “it’s nothing really. I’m just…I’m just really happy that’s all. And well you’re the reason for that.”

Mickey blushes under Ian’s stare as he looked up through his think black eyelashes, “I’m happy too. Because of you.”

“You know…when I moved to New York, I was so excited at the thought that maybe I’d have this epic love story as soon as I move. And then it never happened and years went by and then I started think that it was never going to happen…Fiona would always tell me differently but I didn’t believe it. Alex started calling me the Scrooge of love. And then you…you just happened to be one of the artists they showed us and from the moment I saw that painting you did with Mandy… I knew. I didn’t know I’d fall in love with you at the time but I knew you were something special because it made me feel something I never had before.” Ian rambled while chewing on his potatoes. He looked up apprehensively to see Mickey staring back wide eyed, “What?”

“You fell in love with me?” Mickey asked softly still a bit dazed by those words. Ian’s face flushed red as he looked down and away from Mickey’s eyes.

“I planned on saying that so much more smoothly….” Ian then set his empty plate down on the cart and placed his hands in his lap, “But Yeah…I fell in love with you Mickey. I love you.”

* * *

Ian wasn’t expecting the black haired man to really say anything but then Mickey’s plate was being placed beside Ian’s and then Mickey was climbing into Ian’s lap. He straddled Ian’s thighs as his hands cupped the redhead’s face and their forehead rested together.

“I love you, Ian.” Mickey said lowly before he could chastely press his lips against Ian’s. “God I love you so much.” He wrapped his arms around Ian’s neck and hugged him close as he could hear Ian sniffling. “Are you crying?” Asked Mickey pulling back.

Ian pathetically laughed as he brought his hand up to wipe his tears, “Yeah….no one’s ever told me that before. Well beside Fiona.”

“Ian?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” Mickey whispered against his lips. Ian then manoeuvred them until they were both lying on their sides facing each other, hands caressing faces and arms and soft kisses being pecked along smooth skin.

“Mick.” Ian whispered, “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For everything. For coming into my life, for being you, for being so fucking good to me. God you’re so good to me I think I don’t deserve it. And I’m so scared of fucking us up because I fell so hard for you I don’t think I’ll survive being without you.”

Mickey presses his lips against Ian’s and pulled him in even closer, “you don’t have to find out


	26. His Own Insecurities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I really thought you knew me better than that.”
> 
> And Ian watched as Mickey disappeared out the door his heart breaking even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I didn’t think I’d be able to update today since I had a death in my family yesterday, but I realised that this is honestly my way of coping. And I want to thank you all for giving me the opportunity to tell my stories and let my emotions and ideas out. Thank you for being so receptive. 
> 
> I do apologize in advance for the way this chapter ends. Please don’t kill me nor attack me in the comments. Please lol. I hope you all enjoy this Second to Last chapter and look forward to the final chapter come Sunday ♥️

Their first serious fight ended up being way more heartbreaking than any of them anticipated it being. Mainly because they hadn’t seen it brewing in the first place and because it happened so close to Christmas, their anniversary. It all started when Ian woke up in his and Mickey’s bed and stretched across reaching for Mickey and coming up empty for the fourth time that week.

When the pair had decided to move they were lucky that there was a three bedroom unit in Ian’s building a floor up that had just gone on the market. They were well settled in by the time December came around and had made it their home. Ian had gone crazy on the Christmas decorations, calling his sister Fiona for all the advice he could get. Their apartment well looked like Santa Clause moved in with them. Ian let his hand sweep across the empty side of the bed.

The next half of the bed was still made and cold proving that no one had in fact slept there. Ian had gone to bed the night after Mickey texted that he was staying late at the office to finish up some stuff and then heading to Mandy’s. He thought Mickey would be there when he woke up but he thought wrongly. He knew Mickey was busy and working hard but he couldn’t help but miss his boyfriend. He got off the bed feeling like he was being thrown for a loop. It might have sounded silly but it was in fact the most amount of nights they’d spent apart since they had gotten together.

He headed into the shower and got ready for the day before heading into the office. When he got there the place was already bustling like it usually was so he went to the studio before going to his office. No mickey.

He dug his phone out of his pocket as he sat down at his own desk and looked for any new messages. None.

_**Ian** : Hey just got to work. You’re not here :( and you weren’t there when I woke up. Miss you._

He sat for a while and waited for a response that wasn’t going to come…at least not anytime in the morning. He carried on with his day despite the sour mood. He wasn’t being a little bitch. But he had no shame in admitting that he had become quite codependent. It was after five when Ian was packing up his things to leave that his phone vibrated against his desk

_**Mickey** : Sry. Finished at the office late. Got to Mandy’s and fell asleep . See you tonight._

_**Ian** : Okay, I’ll get dinner._

_**Mickey** : Okay, love you._

_**Ian** : Love you too._

Up until this point it hadn’t been an issue. But it was only now dawning upon Ian that in the months following Mexico he’d been seeing less and less of his boyfriend even though they were now living together. It was only that week Mickey hadn’t spent the nights at home but Ian couldn’t remember the last time they’d gone in to work together, had lunch together or ever left together. It felt as though they didn’t even work in the same building, let along adjacent offices. It seemed as though he was spending more nights at Mandy’s than usual. He began sweating at his own insecurities. Fuck. He trusted Mickey. He did. But…no Ian. Stop right there.

He grabbed his bag and headed out the office toward the elevators with slumped shoulders and a heavy mind.

That night when Mickey came in he looked more tired than he had in ages and Ian couldn’t help but soften at the sight of the man. Mickey had been working his ass off. Since the exhibit every author who was signed with their company wanted their name next to Mickey’s. He was churning out book covers one after the other and having to stay later than usual at work to get the work done in order to use his weekends to catch up on his second job at the college downtown. It being his first semester teaching a structured course, turned out much more difficult than Ian or Mickey had anticipated. Also he was meeting ever so often with Stephen King’s team in order to get his ideas out there in hopes that he could be chosen to be the artist for the new cover of his book. Also Christmas was just a couple days away and people wanted their work done before the holiday. Ian felt like an absolute asshole for the way he was feeling now.

“Hey.” Mickey said as he hung his jacket up and toed off his shoes before meeting Ian at the couch, “I Uh…I bought that juice you like…they had it on sale and they finally had the flavour you like.” He said placing the bags on down on the table.

Ian was laying on the couch under a blanket while looking uninterestedly at the television. “Come here.” He said wrapping his arm around Mickey neck to bring him down for a kiss. Mickey presses into him lowering his body until he was laying down on Ian.

“You really fucking missed me huh?” Mickey teased.

Ian tilts his head looking up at Mickey while his finger brushed lightly at Mickey’s under-bags before nodding, “Thought you were getting tired of me.”

“Fuck off with that.” Mickey said.

Ian pointed to the coffee table where the bags of dinner he’d bought were sitting, “Bought burgers. What were you working on?” Ian asked as Mickey sat up and began taking the food out.

“Just some stuff.”

“Wow so much detail.” Ian muttered way more bitterly than he intended.

“Just boring shit that’s all.” Mickey said shrugging his shoulders.

“I’m always excited to hear about what you’re working on. None of it is boring to me.”

Mickey was starting to get a little agitated now and he didn’t even know why, maybe because of the long hours he’d been working to get the new series Blane had him working on done. “It’s just dumb kids books I’ve been working on alright?” He snaps immediately regretting it. Ian’s eyes and face fell as he stiffened at Mickey’s tone. “Sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“No…it’s okay.” Ian said softly picking his burger off the coffee table and unwrapping it while he brought his knees up to his chest. A clear indication to Mickey to not touch him.

“I’ve just…I’ve been a little stressed out lately with these deadlines Blane has me working. I’m sorry I snapped.”

“I get it.” Ian said softly. He did. He understood that Mickey was going through it but it didn’t help the mood he was immediately put into. He picked at his sandwich while they ate in silence before giving up altogether wrapping it back up and getting up to put it in the fridge, “I’m going to bed…you coming?”

“Yeah…I’ll be right in.” Mickey said rubbing his hand across his forehead and getting up to clean up a bit. When he was done he leaned against the kitchen sink rubbing his forehead and pinching the bridge of his nose, he was fucking up. He was pushing Ian away because he was stressed out. He knows he needed to make it better. He started unbuttoning his shirt as he made his way to the bedroom. When he opened the door Ian was laying in the middle of the bed staring out the window. He shrugged his jeans and shirt off and climbed onto the bed, crawling up from the foot until he was hovering over Ian.

“Hey.” He whispered. Ian turned his face to look him in the eyes and he could see Ian’s own were wet with tears. Fuck he was a dick. “I’m a real asshole. And I’m sorry.”

“You are an asshole.” Ian said turning onto his back, “but…I get why you’re worked up.” Ian said letting his hand moved up Mickey’s back to his shoulders and then back down. “Kiss me.” Ian whispered. Mickey bend his face until his lips were pressed to Ian’s.

“I missed you.” Mickey said against his mouth causing Ian to smile into the kiss. Ian flipped them over until Mickey was below him and deepened the kiss licking into his lover’s mouth. He moved to Mickey’s neck sucking lightly and then pecking the softness of his skin. After Mexico and all the wild sex they’d had there when they came back life picked back up and they both found themselves working and too busy for much foreplay. They’d usually just get to the good part or sucked the other off but Ian wanted to take care of his man who was so evidently tired. He moved down to take one of Mickey’s nipples between his lips, sucking and then taking the nub between his teeth pulling at it. He skirted lower down the bed kissing at Mickey’s chest and then his belly. When he opened his eyes and looked down he stopped his entire body tensing. He could hear his own heart breaking at the sight.

“Why’d you stop?” Mickey asked raising his head off the pillow to look down. Ian’s eyes were wet again as he pushed off the bed and started grabbing Mickey’s clothes throwing it at him. “Get out.” He slipped his sweatpants on as Mickey grabbed the clothes, “Ian, What the fuck?” Mickey yelled. “Can you fucking tell me what I did?”

“We….we haven’t…the last few times we had sex…there was no fucking foreplay. You were bent over in the shower, you rode me on the couch and I fucked you from behind on our sides.” Ian rambled pacing the room.

“Yeah Ian I know, I was there. I remember so what the fuck are you so worked up about?”

“THERES A FUCKING HICKEY ON YOUR STOMACH AND I DIDN’T LEAVE THAT THERE.” Ian shouted with tears streaming down his face.

Mickey’s brow furrowed before he came to a realisation. He looked down at his bare belly sighing loudly at the big purple bruise beside his navel.

“Ian…that’s not what you…”

“WHAT? You’re gonna tell me that’s not what it looks like? I know a fucking hickey when I see one.”

“Damn right I’m gonna tell you it’s not what it looks like because it’s not.” The room grew silent as Ian glared in Mickey’s direction. “You know what? I’m so fucking hurt…hurt Ian. That you would think I would do …. Anything like that”. Mickey mumbled as he started putting his clothes back on.

“What are you expecting me to th…think when I see something like that, Mickey?” Ian asked still shouting as he watched Mickey slip his clothes on.

“I…I really wish you trusted me more than that.” Mickey said as he opened the bedroom door and stormed out grabbing his coat from the hook, “when you’re ready to talk about this like a mature fucking adult…find me. But Ian?” Mickey said still remaining soft and calm, “I really thought you knew me better than that.”

And Ian watched as Mickey disappeared out the door his heart breaking even more.

* * *

He should have just told Ian the fucking truth. Mickey knows that but the thought…the mere idea that Ian thought he was capable of cheating on him had him hurting more than he thought possible. He should have just said the fucking truth. He sighed as he stuck the key into Mandy’s door and pushed the door open. He fucked up…again. Ian too but fuck!

The first thing he could think to do was reach into Mandy’s kitchen cupboard and grab the biggest bottle of Jack Daniels Josh had.

* * *

Ian threw himself down onto their bed pulling the blanket around him. Fuck, it all smelled like Mickey. He should believe Mickey. Mickey had done nothing but show how loyal he is. Ian knows Mickey loves him. But there’s something about seeing that mark where he didn’t leave it and he immediately get flashback of when he was manic at seventeen and was working as a go-go boy in a gay strip club back in Chicago. It made him think of all the guys who’d come whisking him away to the bathrooms making him feel like he was special compared to the other dancers. But when they stripped their pants down and pushed Ian to his knees and he saw that mark. The mark of someone’s else lips he only came to realise he was nothing to them but a warm mouth to get off on.

Mickey was supposed to me his as he was equally Mickey’s. Mickey claimed it wasn’t in fact a hickey but he didn’t care to elaborate on what it could actually be. Ian was left to only think one thing. His Mickey was unfaithful. And the most fucked up Part was that Ian missed him so much that he just wish he hadn’t bothered to say anything.

 


	27. You Colour My Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ian pulled Mickey in closer burying his face in Mickey’s neck inhaling the scent of his man and enjoying their warmth. He loves this man with his entire being and he knows he wants to have Mickey for the rest of forever. He glances over to his nightstand drawer that he has Mickey’s gift sitting in and thinks to himself that he definitely do make the right choice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow its been one hell of a week. 
> 
> So this is it, the ending of this story. I'm so sad to see it end but I'm so happy with the way it turned out. I know I said I would end it on Sunday but Vickey convinced me otherwise. 
> 
> This chapter was such a joy to write, I tried to include the funny, the emotional and the love. Thank you all for the support you have show my writing. I greatly appreciate your kind words after my loss this past week. 
> 
> I can't believe we're getting Mickey back and I hope that it inspires me more to giverify you guys more stories.

Mandy had gotten used to living with Josh. It was just the two of them. Their apartment was usually a quiet place unless they were fighting because she enjoyed the peace and thanked her lucky stars Josh didn’t snore. But that morning when she woke up to loud snoring coming from the other room and noticed Josh was a silent as could be beside her she slipped out of bed, pulled her robe on and headed out into the living room to find none other than her brother sprawled out on her couch with a half empty bottle of Jack on the coffee table. She headed straight into the kitchen to get coffee started because she knew she’d need it for this conversation.

When she finished setting the coffee to make she got started on breakfast just as Josh came out their bedroom, glanced at Mickey and then gave her a confused face. “What happened?” He whispered.

“Fuck if I know…woke up and found him there. Wake him up.” Mandy said.

“Why I gotta wake him up? You know he’s grumpy shit in the morning.”

Mandy shot him a glare that made him roll his eyes before heading to wake his brother-in-law. “I did it for the most of my life…now it’s your turn, take it as initiation into the family.” Mandy teased as Josh rolled his eyes before heading into the living room.

The only plausible explanation for Mickey being on her couch is that he and Ian had a fight.

“What the fuck? Stop fucking kicking me.” Josh yelled from the living room making Mandy chuckle to herself. “Dude! You drank my new bottle of Jack! Asshole! Get up!”

It wasn’t long before Mickey came dragging his feet into the kitchen rubbing his eyes, “Relax, shaft! I’ll buy you another bottle.” Mandy set a cup of coffee down in front her brother before looking at him with raised brows.

“Wanna tell me why you’re sleeping on my couch?”

Mandy doesn’t think she’s going to get an answer. Because her brother downs the entire cup of coffee before speaking again. “Ian and I had a fight.”

“About what?” Josh asked much calmer now that he too had drank coffee.

“This.” Mickey said lifting his T-shirt to show the purple bruise on his belly then shooting Mandy a glare.

“Fuck that looks bad. I didn’t think it’d get that dark. What? He thought it was a hickey?” Mandy asked laughing but quickly stopped when she saw Mickey nod.

“Yeah…basically accused me of sleeping around. And me spending the night here the couple nights before doesn’t help.”

“Well what he say when he found out it isn’t a hickey?”

Mickey looked up holding his mug out for a refill, “Fuck! Mickey! You didn’t tell him the truth?”

“Well I was kinda blindsided by the fact that he’d think I’d cheat so no, I didn’t tell him the truth. I don’t know…maybe I wanted to see if he’d trust me or believe me or some shit. He didn’t so I just…left.”

“Fuck Mickey. You’re so stupid. You’ll go tell him, now.”

“Maybe he shouldn’t though.” Josh said making both Milkoviches look at him incredulously, “I’m just saying, shouldn’t Ian know better than to believe Mickey would do that kind of shit?.”

“Exactly…in the meantime should I get shit ready for our anniversary or wait until things resolve.” Mandy slapped Mickey on the back of his head, “Ow bitch.”

“Fine. I get why you wanna wait to see if he shows up. But if he doesn’t you’re going to him. You’re going to fix shit.”

* * *

 

Two days. It was two days since he’d last seen Ian. Ian didn’t show up at work on Friday and then Saturday rolled around and he didn’t hear from him, he was still sitting on Mandy’s couch with his phone in his hand trying to figure just what the fuck happened.

**_ Three days before _ **

_“Mandy!” Mickey called as he entered her apartment that night. It was well after midnight and his sister had texted him telling him to come by._

_“Hey douchbag!”She called as he came into the kitchen. “Where’s Ian?”_

_“Home. What’s up?”_

_Mandy turned around and set a tub of ice cream down on the table, “Josh and I had a fight, figured you can sit and work on your piece while I bitch about it.”_

_“Oh…the first married fight. Where is he?” Mickey asked as he shrugged his coat off and then sat by the easel he had set up in Mandy’s kitchen for then last couple weeks._

_“He’s at his dad’s. That’s what the fight was about.”_

_“What do you mean?” Mickey leaned and grabbed one of the spoons she offered digging into the dulce de leche ice cream._

_“Kendall called a couple nights ago…he got in some deep shit with the cops for hacking and needed Josh to bail him out. Josh thought he shouldn’t. You know leave him let him learn kinda deal. I told Josh that no one was there to bail you and I out and we didn’t learn anything back then. We fought and then his dad called asking him to come help him deal with things anyway but Josh didn’t want to go so I yelled at him and told him to get his ass over there. He yelled back and told me to stay out of his shit.”_

_Mickey sat and listened before turning to his sister, “I mean…I get where he’s coming from with the tough love kind of thing…but I get that you wanna help him out. The fact that he listens and went is a good sign. Just wait it out. He’ll get over it.”_

_“Why do you look like such shit?” Mandy asked looking over his shoulder at the painting her brother was currently up close to with a fine tip artist’s pen making individual strokes into what should be red hair “And when did you, out of the two of us become such a romantic?”_

_“I’ve been working nonstop. I’m so freaking tired. And secondly, I feel like I set the bar pretty high last year right? I gotta finish this because I gotta work on some other stuff I got planned. Can I crash here?”_

_“Yeah. Couch is all yours.”_

_He’d settle in on Mandy’s couch that night with a dead cellphone after having been listening to music while he finished his painting, and a desire to hold his man in his arms but he knew he was too tired to leave Mandy’s._

_The next morning he got up and headed into the bathroom to take a piss and a shower. Mandy had just been in there and the place smelled all fruity and was foggy. He stripped his clothes and then looked into the mirror. He looked fucking tired is what. He leaned in closer to get a look at what might look like a grey hair but before he knew it or saw it Mandy’s hot curling iron on the counter collided with his belly, “OW FUCK! Mandy!”_

_“What?”_

_“Your fucking curling iron burnt me!”_

_“Shit. It’s hot be careful.”_

_“I know it’s hot dimwit. It fucking scorched me” he grumbled as he turns the shower on._

* * *

“You’re a fucking idiot that’s what.” Mandy chided from Ian and Mickey’s couch. She couldn’t bare to see the two idiots be separated from each other any longer. She also was sick of Mickey being on her couch and eating all her food.

“I know.” Ian said with his chin on his knees.

“Look Ian…I know this stems from the way guys treated you before and shit but you gotta know Mickey is different. Also it’s been two fucking days why are you not having hot makeup sex?”

“Because I’m an asshole who doesn’t know how to say he was wrong. I’m scared he’s going to tell me to fuck off.” Ian said quietly. “I didn’t even give him a chance to explain, I just told him to get out.”

“He might tell you to fuck off.” Mandy said sighing, “Okay get the fuck up, go take a shower and shave. Now!” Mandy instructed. Ian got up and headed into the shower before Mandy could yell at him more. When he got out and headed into his room, Mandy had an outfit picked out for him, “you’re going to text him and tell him to come home for dinner, that you want to talk. Then you’re going to go into that kitchen and make something fucking delicious for your man. Stop sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself, Ian. And this jealousy shit needs to get thrown out the window because you can’t hurt Mickey like this again. Alright?”

He nodded solemnly and started getting dressed as she left. She was right. He needed to get his head out of his ass and go get Mickey.

His heart was pounding in his chest. Why the fuck had he let two days go by without trying to fix this. The more he thought about it, it was obvious that Mickey wouldn’t cheat. He thinks about how broken Mickey was when Connor had done that to him. He grabbed his phone off the kitchen counter and pulled up the thread of texts he had with Mickey.

_**Ian** : Hey I wanna talk…like a mature adult. Can you please come home? I’m making your favourite, Beef Stroganoff._

He wasn’t exactly expecting Mickey to respond but he couldn’t help but feel disappointed that he didn’t. He shook it off and placed his phone down on the counter before heading to the fridge and to get their meal started. Maybe Mickey would reply soon. He’d always get lost in cooking whenever he actually did and today it seemed like the perfect distraction until the there was the sound of keys jingling on the other side of their front door. Ian leaned back from where he stood at the stove so he could get a glimpse of Mickey for the first time in two days.

When the door opened Mickey was standing in heavy winter coat, Ian watched as he shrugged the puffy coat off and kicked his shoes off. He was wearing an old band tee and black jeans but black stubble growing out from not shaving in the last three days. “Hey, you came.” Ian said softly as Mickey walked fully into view so he could straighten up.

“Hey...yeah...I came.”

As Mickey walked further into the apartment a pur came from iris who strutted over and rubbed her self into Mickey’s leg. Ian was still standing awkwardly in the kitchen. “She missed you.” He started pathetically.

Mickey scoffed, “Yeah right.”

“She’s been sleeping with your sweater.” Ian said as he pointed to the corner of the room where the cat’s bed was. “Sorry, I messaged so last minute”

“Not like I had anything else to do.” Mickey shrugged slipping into one of the bar stools at the kitchen aisle.

“Uh…I’m sorry.” Ian blurted quickly. “I was an asshole. And maybe I gotta deal with some deep rooted issues I got with guys who’ve treated me like shit but I shouldn’t have lumped you in with them. And I should have just asked. I’m sorry.”

Mickey remained quiet as he nodded his head, “I guess I should apologize too. You know…for not explaining. And for walking out.” Mickey said as he dug at the grout between the counter tiles and then looked up meeting Ian’s eyes.

“No that’s my fault I told you to get out. Which I had no right to do. This is as much your home as mine.” Ian said turning off the stove and scooping the food into two bowls.

“Mandy told me you got burnt with her curling iron. I…I saw it and I was already insecure because you’ve been working a lot and I just got scared. And it brought back up some shit I used to deal with when I was in my first mania and I freaked out. Can you please forgive me?” Ian said turning his attention fully to Mickey.

“Ian…I can. I do. I do forgive you but it still hurts to think that you believe somewhere deep down that I’d do that to you.”

Ian rounded the counter wanting to be so much closer to Mickey. “That’s the thing. I don’t believe that. When you left I lay down and I’m thinking I’m such an asshole for not waiting for an explanation because Mickey…my Mickey wouldn’t do that kind of shit to me. I just let my past play tricks on my mind because I’m scared Mickey. I’m scared you’re going to wake up one day and realise you deserve so much better than me and what I can offer. I…I don’t want to hold you back Mick.”

Mickey stood up walking over to Ian, “Have you seen the size of the cock you’re bringing to the table? And that thing you can do with your tongue?” Mickey attempts to lighten the mood, he wraps his arms around Ian’s waist pulling him close, “but none of that compares to this.” Mickey says pointing to Ian’s chest where his heart is. “You’re perfect for me just the way you are. And this…” he points to Ian’s head, “is what brought us together. If you didn’t become manic and started writing you’d never have come to New York and we never would have met.”

Ian tucks his face in Mickey’s neck gripping tighter to his lover, “I’m sorry I hurt you by thinking fucked up shit. I know you’ll never do that.” Ian hugged Mickey tighter enjoying finally having his boyfriend in his arms again.

“You mean to tell me we had a totally unwarranted fight because we’re both too stubborn to listen to each other?”

Ian chuckled as Mickey pulled back to look at him, “Apparently so.”

“Hey..” Mickey lifted Ian’s chin, “I’m never gonna do that to you. I love you too much.” Mickey said and though he had said it before it still made Ian’s breath hitch. “And I’m sorry I’ve been working so much and not telling you and not coming home. I’ve actually…Uh been helping Mandy with something and I end up just crashing there. I’m sorry. I love you so much man.”

Ian’s lips split into a grin as he nodded and bent his head low to press his lips with Mickey’s, “Mickey” peck “Milkovich” peck “will you” peck “come” peck “home?” Ian looked into Mickey’s eyes with so much hope and excitement as Mickey pecked his lips.

“Yeah.” Ian crashed their lips together as he grabbed Mickey’s ass.

“Fuck I missed you. I love you, Mickey. So so much.”

“Alright Red, it’s been two days, get on me.” Mickey said as Ian kissed into his neck causing him to throw into a fit of giggles. Fuck, Ian really loved this man. “I’d love to but I haven’t eaten all day.”  
Mickey stopped, taking a deep breath in, “Fuck that smells good” He tilted his head like he was making a really tough decision, “Okay... but eat quick” Mickey said making Ian laugh.

They were later laying in a heap of sweaty limbs and bodily fluids while their chests heaved. “Fuck I love you.”

“I love you too, so…what are we doing tomorrow?” Mickey asked.

“Mandy said we have to come for lunch at her place. She wants to start some new Christmas Tradition of some shit.” Ian laughed.

“Okay…but what’s gonna be our tradition?”

“Hmm I was thinking, Chinese for dinner under the lights like our first Christmas.” Ian said into Mickey’s shoulder.

Mickey breathes in deeply clicking his tongue before venturing into his next question, “Uh…you said seeing the bruise made you think of some stuff from your mania. Can I ask what it is?”

Ian hesitated before reaching his hand to card through Mickey’s black hair, “When I’m manic…things don’t really register to me, like I’m almost unaware of the things I’m doing. And when I got on a new combo of meds I usually go into this haze where I don’t remember anything from the mania but after time some of it comes back to me. One of the things I remember is seeing how the guys that would pay me to get on my knees and blow them would look at me, and it was no secret that I wasn’t theirs and they weren’t mine. There was no fantasy in it. It just was what it was, me blowing guys for fifty bucks. I was just a warm mouth, a way to get off and it made me feel cheap.

Mickey swiped his thumb to catch the stray tear from Ian’s eyes, “Hey, you’re incredible, the most amazing person I know , you never have to feel like that okay? I want you, everything about you. You’re mine just as much as I am yours okay? I love you Ian. Everything about you.”

Ian pulled Mickey in closer burying his face in Mickey’s neck inhaling the scent of his man and enjoying their warmth. He loves this man with his entire being and he knows he wants to have Mickey for the rest of forever. He glances over to his nightstand drawer that he has Mickey’s gift sitting in and thinks to himself that he definitely do make the right choice.

* * *

The next morning they both woke up with just enough time to get up, bathe and head over to Mandy’s. The day was spent eating as much as they possibly could and laughing their bellies full. They felt like a real family and Ian thinks about the two days he’d gone without Mickey. He doesn’t want to have to live through that ever again.

When they got home that night, Ian turned the Christmas tree lights on set their dinner out on the coffee table and then retrieved the presents from under the tree. Mickey came out the bedroom with his own stash of gifts and settled beside Ian. Ian didn’t comment on the large box he saw Mickey being home from at Mandy’s that he now leaned against the couch. They ate their meal, laughing and talking and telling each other of how much they missed the other even through it was just two day. Iris joined them some time after they had eaten and cuddled to Mickey’s side.

“So…who goes first?”

“You go first?” Ian asked nervously.

“Okay.” Mickey picked up the gifts that sat on the floor beside him, “I uh…hope you like them.”

Ian took the first package ripping into the paper, before bursting into laughter, “Seriously? I didn’t think it was such a kink of yours Mick.” He laughed as he looked down at the voucher for the Ian’s optometrist. “I’m just saying it couldn’t help to have options. Also I remember you saying your headaches have gotten worst so...” Mickey laughed.

“That’s super thoughtful Mick.” Ian pecked Mickey cheek causing the brunette to blush.

Ian moved on to the large box. He ripped the paper off and the slid the cover off the thin but wide box. Lying beneath a layer of tissue paper was a large canvas painted with an image of Ian and Mickey at their art exhibit. Ian was looking down at Mickey with the biggest smile on his face while Mickey looked up laughing. “Holy shit…you did this? Oh fuck it’s so good! This is going up above the fireplace. Shit I love it” Ian attacked Mickey’s lips with his own wrapping at arm around his head. “I love it. I love you.”

Mickey blushes as Ian sat back and smiled at him while placing the canvas to lean against the couch, “That’s why I’ve been spending so much time at Mandy’s. I didn’t want to risk you seeing it.”

“Thanks, babe. I really love it.” Ian blushes pulling Mickey down for a searing kiss, “Now me.” Ian reached behind him and picked up a cuboid shaped gift that seems heavy.

“I’ve been working on this for a long time now and It’s the only thing I got you so I hope you like it.”

“It doesn’t matter how many things you get Ian. All I need is you.” Mickey said when Ian places the gift in lap. It was a book. Mickey could already tell.

When he tore the red paper off it revealed a thick hardcover book that sat in a grey sleeve with red paint smears on the front with a sketch of the necklace Mickey had bought for Ian a year ago dangling in front. “Is this my sketch?”

“Yeah…I found it when I found that Pennywise drawing.” Ian blushed. Mickey looked back down and read the cover Colour Me Red by Ian Gallagher.

“It’s uh…that romance novel I’ve been trying to write for three years. It kind of evolved and well read the back.” Mickey turned the book over reading the summary.

 

>   
>  _Kian Darner has worked hard to be where h is now, a New York Times bestselling author, but something is missing from his life. Love. That all changes when he embarks o the journey of the release of his last novel of the most infamous series he’s ever written. After Kian hires the publishing company’s best artist Nicky Markovich, he finds himself encapsulated by the man’s rough exterior but soft heart._  
>  _The journey becomes all the better when Kian realises he’s fallen in love._

“It’s uh our story.” Ian says shyly.

“I’m really fucking proud of you.” Mickey leans in kissing Ian sweetly, “this has to be the most romantic, gayest thing anyone has ever done for me and I fucking love it.” Mickey said against Ian’s lips making the redhead laugh.

“Uh…open the front.” Ian then said nervously.

 

>   
>  _You, colour me_  
>  _You colour my soul_  
>  _Paint me red in places once filled with gold_  
>  _You, colour me_  
>  _You colour my soul_  
>  _Make me dream of things I never did once before_
> 
> _Dedicated to the love of my life._  
>  _My rock, my confidant, my best friend, my everything._  
>  _For you, my Mickey._  
>  _A promise of forever._

Below the inscriptions, cut right through the pages was a cube, where sat a small red box. Ian reached above the book and took the box out opening it to show two rings. Black titanium with the edges bordered with rose gold.

“I want us forever. I love you Mickey. More than life itself. Will you marry me?”

Mickey smiled so big it creased his eyes as he nodded and reached for Ian’s neck pulling him into a fervent kiss. “You always gotta get one up on me huh?” He laughed.

“Never.” Ian kisses him harder. “You and Me, Mick. Forever.”

Mickey pressed his forehead against Ian’s. “You keep fucking me up and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Ian's proposal and this entire fic was inspired by Colour Me by Juke Ross so give it a listen it's a great song. 
> 
> I'll see you guys next week when I post some new work. Thank you for going on the journey of my first AU with me 💛


End file.
